🔴 Writing task 2 (an essay)

Some people believe that money spent on air travel is a waste of resources and should be better used to help the poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

🔻 نکته: یکی از اشتباهاتی که بچه‌ها در رایتینگ تسک دو آیلتس مرتکب میشن

در introduction اطلاعات اضافی و جدید وارد میکنند و اغلب overgeneralization در پاراگراف مقدمه دیده میشه.

به مثال زیر دقت کنید:

In many countries, veganism is on the rise. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

جواب در پاراگراف مقدمه:
These days veganism is a popular thing and a lot of people are becoming vegan all around the world. I think the benefits of veganism outweigh its demerits.

همونطور که مشاهده می‌کنید در جواب یک مورد جدید اضافه شده و همچنین overgeneralization صورت گرفته. یعنی جمله 'These days veganism is a popular thing' موردی اضافه و جدید است که نویسنده خودش اضافه کرده. همچنین عبارت 'all around the world' نیز با عبارت صورت سوال که in many countries هستش یکسان نیست و فرق دارند.

از این دو مورد پرهیز کنید و gist و کلید واژه هارو پارافریز کنید و در بخش دوم پوزیشن خودتون رو در متن مشخص کنید.
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👥 @ielts2group
✍️ @ielts2WritingCorrection

امروز انجام میشه 👍

🔴 اهمیت Task Response در رايتينگ

🔹سوال: من دانش انگلیسی بسیار بالایی دارم و نمره اسپیکینگ "هشت" دارم اما در رايتينگ نمره بسیار کمی گرفتم. ظاهراً به این دلیل که در رايتينگ آیلتس فقط سوال را بد فهمیده بودم و کمی کلیشه‌ای و حفظی نوشتم.
چرا کاهش نمره‌ من در رايتينگ اینقدر شدید بوده است؟

🔹پاسخ: دقت کنید که اگر به سوال "درست، دقیق، کامل و همه جانبه" پاسخ ندهید، فقط از "تسک ریسپانس" نمره كم نمى شود:
عملاً نمره انسجام میان پاراگرافی و میان جمله ای و دانش واژگانى هم تحت تاثیر این نقص قرار گرفته و نمره کلی شما افت شدیدی خواهد کرد.

توجه نمایید که به جز گرامر، بقیه فاکتور های نمره دهی رايتينگ آیلتس کاملاً در هم تنیده و مرتبط هستند: نمره واژگان و انسجام متغیری هستند از درک و فهم کامل سوال و طبعاً پاسخ "کامل و جامع" به سوال.

یعنی کسی که سوال را درست نفهمیده است یا حاشیه ای و کلیشه‌ای و حفظی می نویسد، نه تنها به "تسک ریسپانس" ضربه زده است، بلکه "واژگان کافی" برای حداقل نمره را نیز به ممتحن ارائه نکرده است و "انسجام" خوبی نیز در متن ندارد.
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👥 @ielts2group
✍️ @ielts2WritingCorrection

🔴 شرایط دوره های آیلتس و مقدماتی ما (برای اطلاع از جدیدترین تخفیف ها همراه باشید)👇👇👇
https://t.me/ielts2course

کسی نمونه جواب نمره 9 برای این تاپیک میخواد؟ ❤️ بذارید ببینیم چند نفر هستید (موضوع جرم در آیلتس بسیار رایج هست)

🟧 این هم نمونه نمره 9 برای این تاپیک

IELTS Writing Task 2: Sample Band 9 Answer

The debate surrounding the causes of criminal behavior has long been a topic of interest. Some argue that poor living conditions are the root cause of crime, while others believe that crimes stem from individuals' malicious intent. Both viewpoints have valid arguments, yet the reality is likely to be more complex, involving an interplay of external circumstances and personal choice. In this essay, I will examine both perspectives and provide my opinion on the matter.

On the one hand, proponents of the view that poor living conditions lead to crime argue that individuals living in poverty-stricken environments are more likely to engage in criminal activities out of necessity or despair. When basic needs such as food, shelter, and education are unmet, people may resort to illegal activities as a means of survival. For example, a person who cannot find a job may feel compelled to steal in order to provide for their family. Moreover, impoverished neighborhoods often suffer from a lack of law enforcement and social services, creating an environment where crime can flourish. This argument suggests that if society addresses the underlying economic and social inequalities, the rates of crime would significantly decrease.

On the other hand, those who believe that criminal behavior is driven by individuals’ bad intentions argue that regardless of living conditions, some people choose to commit crimes due to greed, anger, or other negative personal traits. They suggest that not everyone in poverty commits crimes, and therefore, criminality cannot be solely attributed to one’s environment. Instead, they point to moral deficiencies and the lack of personal responsibility as the primary factors driving crime. According to this view, individuals with malicious intent may take advantage of any situation, whether rich or poor, to achieve their selfish desires.

In my opinion, while it is undeniable that poor living conditions can create circumstances that encourage crime, the role of personal responsibility and individual moral choices cannot be ignored. Both external factors and internal motivations play a significant role in determining whether a person will engage in criminal activity. For instance, many people raised in poverty lead honest lives, while others in affluent circumstances may still commit crimes due to greed or power. Therefore, it seems overly simplistic to attribute crime to one factor alone.

In conclusion, both poor living conditions and individuals' bad intentions contribute to criminal behavior, though neither can be considered the sole cause. Crime is a multifaceted issue that results from a combination of socio-economic factors and personal moral failings. To reduce crime, society must address both the external circumstances that foster crime and encourage personal accountability and moral development.

اما چه لغات و گرامری توی این سمپل میبینید که نمره رو به 9 رسونده؟ (با 20 تا ❤️ میگیم)