#Feedback

In your introduction you should limit yourself to 50 words or less and you repeated some of the ideas that could be avoided. the other point is that you don't have a good opening sentence or hook. on the other hand at the end it's better to have a thesis statement to say what you're going to do in the rest of your essay

Although a higher level of vocabulary is attempted throughout the essay, sometimes the overall meaning is not clear and there are some inaccuracies in the word choice.

The other important point is that you do not start your paragraphs with a main idea and as a result of that you can not develop and progress in a meaningful way. You have to have a main idea at the beginning of your paragraph and then try to explain and persuade the reader.

You attempted to talk about the advantages and disadvantages of the Internet but you ended up talking a lot about just advantages and so little about the disadvantages you did not provide any support for what you said about the disadvantages and did not persuade your reader about it. It's better to have two paragraphs each of them about 100 or 120 words and in each you present one or two main ideas and then in the rest of paragraph you talk about them and persuade reader what you're saying is true.

In your conclusion you're not allowed to talk about the points that you did not cover in the main paragraphs. unfortunately we can't see something like this. Normally you have to have a review of your main ideas and probably a prediction or suggestion at the end to finish up.

Estimated Score for this sample is 6 to 6.5

❤تعیین رایگان نمره اسپیکینگ شما/تمرین روزانه اسپیکینگ 🎤 🎤 🎤

🔴 فقط به یکی از پرسش های زیر(30 تا 60 ثانیه) پاسخ داده و با استفاده از یک Recorder پاسخ را در فرمت #mp3 ضبط کنید و برای ما به این نشانی بفرستید. 👇👇👇

@PouyaAbolghasemi


🔴 244. Do you find it difficult to choose gifts? Why?



🔴 245. Do you think children should be allowed to make mistakes?



🔴 246. Do you think it is in human nature to conceal one’s shortcomings?


@ielts2com

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👈 ۱۰۰ نمونه سوال بخش اول اسپیکینگ آیلتس

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👈 300 نمونه پرسش پاسخ پارت 3 اسپیکینگ آیلتس در سطح نمره 8 و 7

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🔴🔴اعلام نمره های تعیین شده در ☝☝☝

☠☠☠دوستان عزیز دقت داشته باشید پاسخ فقط در فرمت mp3 پذیرفته میشود؛ برای تولید این فایل به اپلیکیشن recorder نیاز خواهید داشت. همچنین پاسخ شما میبایست بین ۳۰ تا ۶۰ ثانیه باشد.

👆👆👆

❤️درود به تمامی دوستان

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@PouyaAbolghasemi


Good luck 👍

💚 تاپیک رایتینگ و سوالات اسپیکینگ برای تعیین سطح رایگان 👆👆👆

Few technological advances have altered modern life the way Internet has. Although the advantages are numerous and outstanding, there are some downsides to it as well. In this essay I will examine the issue and discuss the merits and demerits of this global network. (44 words)

Internet has offered many unparalleled advantages since the number of its users took off. First of all, it saves considerable time of each user. People used to spend big chunk of their lives doing repetitive tasks ranging from lining up for paying bills in bank to reading through thousands of pages in libraries in order to conduct a research. All that have been cut short by unbelievable speed and accessibility of the services offered online. Secondly, no one can deny that more than anything else, communication has been altered. It has enabled the citizens of modern world to contact each other from faraway places in many different ways as if distance can no longer pose a problem. (121 words)

On the other hand, however, there are some drawbacks that should not be overlooked. First of all, since the early days of the internet, it has never been a safe place and even the large multinational IT corporations with top experts have fallen victim of cyber criminals ever since. Secondly, simply the nature of using the net makes people less physically active and as a result more susceptible to obesity and a long array of health issues related to that. It is no secret that the youth do not show much enthusiasm to sports and outdoor activities which can easily be linked to the excitement and appeal of cyber space. (110 words)

In conclusion, while the substantial benefits that the Internet offers has made it inseparable part of modern world, the problems can not be ignored. (20 words)

(295 words)

مجموعه پاسخ ها به سوال رایتینگ تا این لحظه 👇👇👇

http://ielts2.com/%D8%B1%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AA%DB%8C%D9%86%DA%AF-%DA%A9%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%A8-ielts-write-right-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AA/

#Feedback

I think you did a very good job in this writing but there's a small problem in the conclusion in which you should support two sides or give a review of two sides but you just talked about one side. The other point is that what you wrote and your bubble diagram do not match you have to right based on your bubble diagram. Other parts are very good and you have made a lot of progress. congratulations!

اولین محصول بچه های روزهای جمعه. Good job 👏👏👏👏