Writing and scribbles on paper have always had an effect on my mood,,,scribbles are sometimes good to get rid of anger...Today I was scribbling all over my notebook,, I don't know why I just wanted to keep scribbling and getting confused..
Mass death
Billie Eilish – 6 18 18
Our time is up
Your eyes are shut
I won’t get to tell you what
I needed you to know
It’s dark enough
The moonlight doesn’t show
And all my love
Could never bring you home
There’s no more stars to find
And I’m too far behind
And I’d love to let you go
I’d love to let you go
You’re all that’s on my mind
I called a thousand times
And I have to let you go
But I love you more and more than you could know
I sat alone
Awaited your reply
Was driven home
When I started to cry
I should’ve known
I should’ve said goodbye
I only hoped
I would’ve had more time
There’s no more stars to find
And I’m too far behind
And I’d love to let you go
I’d love to let you go
You’re all that’s on my mind
I called a thousand times
And I have to let you go
But I love you more and more than you could know
We’re both too young
To live and die this way
A sunny summer day
With so much left to say
Not 21
The 18th out of pain
The day you couldn’t stay
You made me wanna pray
But I think God’s fake
There’s no more stars to find
And I’m too far behind
And I’d love to let you go
I’d love to let you go
You’re all that’s on my mind
I called a thousand times
And I have to let you go
But I love you more and more and more and more and more
More and more, more and more and more than you will ever know
You will never know
You will never know
Your eyes are shut
I won’t get to tell you what
I needed you to know
It’s dark enough
The moonlight doesn’t show
And all my love
Could never bring you home
There’s no more stars to find
And I’m too far behind
And I’d love to let you go
I’d love to let you go
You’re all that’s on my mind
I called a thousand times
And I have to let you go
But I love you more and more than you could know
I sat alone
Awaited your reply
Was driven home
When I started to cry
I should’ve known
I should’ve said goodbye
I only hoped
I would’ve had more time
There’s no more stars to find
And I’m too far behind
And I’d love to let you go
I’d love to let you go
You’re all that’s on my mind
I called a thousand times
And I have to let you go
But I love you more and more than you could know
We’re both too young
To live and die this way
A sunny summer day
With so much left to say
Not 21
The 18th out of pain
The day you couldn’t stay
You made me wanna pray
But I think God’s fake
There’s no more stars to find
And I’m too far behind
And I’d love to let you go
I’d love to let you go
You’re all that’s on my mind
I called a thousand times
And I have to let you go
But I love you more and more and more and more and more
More and more, more and more and more than you will ever know
You will never know
You will never know
Mass death
Billie Eilish – BIRDS OF A FEATHER
I want you to stay
‘Til I’m in the grave
‘Til I rot away, dead and buried
‘Til I’m in the casket you carry
If you go, I’m going too, uh
‘Cause it was always you (alright)
And if I’m turning blue, please don’t save me
Nothing left to lose without my baby
Birds of a feather, we should stick together, I know
I said I’d never think I wasn’t better alone
Can’t change the weather, might not be forever
But if it’s forever, it’s even better
And I don’t know what I’m crying for
I don’t think I could love you more
It might not be long, but baby, I
I’ll love you ’til the day that I die
‘Til the day that I die
‘Til the light leaves my eyes
‘Til the day that I die
I want you to see, hm
How you look to me, hm
You wouldn’t believe if I told ya
You would keep the compliments I throw ya
But you’re so full of shit, uh
Tell me it’s a bit, oh
Say you don’t see it, your mind’s polluted
Say you wanna quit, don’t be stupid
And I don’t know what I’m crying for
I don’t think I could love you more
Might not be long, but baby, I
Don’t wanna say goodbye
Birds of a feather, we should stick together, I know (’til the day that I die)
I said I’d never think I wasn’t better alone (’til the light leaves my eyes)
Can’t change the weather, might not be forever (’til the day that I die)
But if it’s forever, it’s even better
I knew you in another life
You had that same look in your eyes
I love you, don’t act so surprised
‘Til I’m in the grave
‘Til I rot away, dead and buried
‘Til I’m in the casket you carry
If you go, I’m going too, uh
‘Cause it was always you (alright)
And if I’m turning blue, please don’t save me
Nothing left to lose without my baby
Birds of a feather, we should stick together, I know
I said I’d never think I wasn’t better alone
Can’t change the weather, might not be forever
But if it’s forever, it’s even better
And I don’t know what I’m crying for
I don’t think I could love you more
It might not be long, but baby, I
I’ll love you ’til the day that I die
‘Til the day that I die
‘Til the light leaves my eyes
‘Til the day that I die
I want you to see, hm
How you look to me, hm
You wouldn’t believe if I told ya
You would keep the compliments I throw ya
But you’re so full of shit, uh
Tell me it’s a bit, oh
Say you don’t see it, your mind’s polluted
Say you wanna quit, don’t be stupid
And I don’t know what I’m crying for
I don’t think I could love you more
Might not be long, but baby, I
Don’t wanna say goodbye
Birds of a feather, we should stick together, I know (’til the day that I die)
I said I’d never think I wasn’t better alone (’til the light leaves my eyes)
Can’t change the weather, might not be forever (’til the day that I die)
But if it’s forever, it’s even better
I knew you in another life
You had that same look in your eyes
I love you, don’t act so surprised
Mass death
Chezile موزیکدل – Beanie موزیکدل
Hear it in your tone
You’re slowly letting go
Are you turning off your phone Oh
Feelings turn cold
So cold for you
So cold for you
Oh I try to break apart oh
You don’t wanna try no more more no more
Why why oh
Do you live in my mind mind Oh
Said you looked past my love (oh
While I came with open arms
For you
For you
You’re slowly letting go
Are you turning off your phone Oh
Feelings turn cold
So cold for you
So cold for you
Oh I try to break apart oh
You don’t wanna try no more more no more
Why why oh
Do you live in my mind mind Oh
Said you looked past my love (oh
While I came with open arms
For you
For you
Mass death
Mitski, Mitski – I Bet on Losing Dogs
My baby, my baby (Ooh-oh)
You're my baby, say it to me (Ooh-oh, ooh-oh)
Baby, my baby (Ooh, ooh-oh)
Tell your baby that I'm your baby
I bet on losing dogs
I know they're losing and I pay for my place
By the ring
Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down
I'll be there on their side
I'm losing by their side
Will you let me, baby
Lose on losing dogs
I know they're losing and I pay for my place
By the ring
Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're dow
I wanna feel it
I bet on losing dogs
I always want you when I'm finally fine
How you'd be over me looking in my eyes when I cum
Someone to watch me die
Someone to watch me die
I bet on losing dogs
You're my baby, say it to me (Ooh-oh, ooh-oh)
Baby, my baby (Ooh, ooh-oh)
Tell your baby that I'm your baby
I bet on losing dogs
I know they're losing and I pay for my place
By the ring
Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down
I'll be there on their side
I'm losing by their side
Will you let me, baby
Lose on losing dogs
I know they're losing and I pay for my place
By the ring
Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're dow
I wanna feel it
I bet on losing dogs
I always want you when I'm finally fine
How you'd be over me looking in my eyes when I cum
Someone to watch me die
Someone to watch me die
I bet on losing dogs
فکر کنم اون خلا توی وجودم هیچوقت پر نشد.
خلا؟ اصلا میتونم اسمشو این بذارم؟
همه این احساسو دارن یا فقط منم؟
اصلا واقعا این احساس وجود داره یا من فقط دنبال توجیه بیقراریامم؟
نمیدونم.
فقط انگار یه تیکه از پازل مغزم گم شده.
میدونم هست، میدونم وجود داره
منتظرم پیدا شه، ولی حتی نمیدونم چیه
نمیدونم چرا حتی در بینقصترین حالت ممکن هم فکر میکنم یه جای کار میلنگه، یه چیزی کمه.
باورت میشه حتی نمیدونم چی؟
فقط میدونم نباید اینجوری باشم.
نباید انقدر محتاج زندگیِ غیریکنواخت باشم وقتی توی یکنواختی غرق شدم
فقط میدونم یه چیزی توی زندگیم کمه
همونی که جاش با هیچ تنها قدم زدنی، هیچ سریالی، آهنگی ، و هیچکدوم از گلایی که برای خودم میخرم پر نمیشه.
خلا؟ اصلا میتونم اسمشو این بذارم؟
همه این احساسو دارن یا فقط منم؟
اصلا واقعا این احساس وجود داره یا من فقط دنبال توجیه بیقراریامم؟
نمیدونم.
فقط انگار یه تیکه از پازل مغزم گم شده.
میدونم هست، میدونم وجود داره
منتظرم پیدا شه، ولی حتی نمیدونم چیه
نمیدونم چرا حتی در بینقصترین حالت ممکن هم فکر میکنم یه جای کار میلنگه، یه چیزی کمه.
باورت میشه حتی نمیدونم چی؟
فقط میدونم نباید اینجوری باشم.
نباید انقدر محتاج زندگیِ غیریکنواخت باشم وقتی توی یکنواختی غرق شدم
فقط میدونم یه چیزی توی زندگیم کمه
همونی که جاش با هیچ تنها قدم زدنی، هیچ سریالی، آهنگی ، و هیچکدوم از گلایی که برای خودم میخرم پر نمیشه.