Фашик Донецький

Russians are not Nazis. Essay about the sea

The idea of Russians to fuck up everything they can get their hands on is hilarious.

With the same success it is possible to rename America, after all, as local fuckwits assert, America was discovered by the raska

And that, renaming America, that comes with a whole bunch of perks. I'm not kidding. Watch your hands:

Tesla is a Russian car.

Macbook is a Russian laptop.

Windows is a Russian fucking operating system.

The iPhone is also a Russian invention, for fuck's sake.

The dollar is Russian currency.

New York is a Russian fucking city.

You just don't know, the fucking bourgeoisie stole all the above from rf and renamed it.

Bitch, everything around here is Russian, in case you didn't know.

Japan is Russian Siberia.

Japanese samurai are Japanese bogatyrs.

The emperors of Japan are all Russian. They just had their Russian fucking patronymics removed.

Sony is a Russian company. They just nicked it from its founder, Sony from Syzran.

Mazda is a Russian car. Seriously. You just don't know.

Panasonic is a Russian company. If you don't believe that, you're a fucking Russophobe.

Italy is also fucking Russian. Celentano is a Russian singer, his real name is Chapayev.

Did the Russians drink coffee? Oh, don't fuckin' tell me they didn't. Brazil is Russia, in case you didn't know, and coffee is an indigenous Russian drink. You didn't know? Oh, fuck, you're so fucking zombified, it's fucked up.

Pele, by the way, is also Russian. His real name is Pelevin.

Tango is a Russian dance, Argentina has nothing to do with it. You don't believe me? It was invented by Tanya and Gosha, that's why tango. What more proof do you need, you knuckleheads?

Paris is Russian. The Eiffel Tower is actually called an owl, from the word hey, owl. Doesn't anyone understand that? Bitch, you can't be that stupid.

Alain Delon, Depardieu, Belmondo, they're all Russian. Why? Because France's gay culture is a fucking long way from Russia's.

Barcelona is Russian too, it's Russian land and it doesn't give a fuck. Some people may like the name, but it stands for Bar Selo Na, or a village with a bar, for fuck's sake. Did you eat it, you losers?

Greenland is also Russia. The correct name is Greenland, because when the Russians got there and realised where they were, they called it Greenland so that it would be understandable to a Russian person, Greenland, so that everyone would understand that it's in the middle of nowhere.

Canada is Russian land. You didn't know? That's because you're morons. What's not to understand? The name speaks for itself: Ka = Kalyan, Na = nataha, Da = Dasha. These three opened the country to the world, you know. I mean, you don't see the logic here? Look closely, see it or fuck off, it's simple.

Alaska is russia and don't give a fuck. The name comes from the expression "Hello, bitch! Where am I?"?

Mercedes is a Russian car. The founders decided to hide the Russian surnames and you didn't know about it, you fucking losers.

Everything the Katsaps like and can't do because of their innate crookedness is Russian. Everything the Katsaps can fuck up is fucking Russia.
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