The Advice of Umāmah Bint Al-Hārith To Her Daughter Umm Iyyās on The Night of Her Marriage
Umāmah Bint Al-Hārith said to her daughter when she was being sent off to her husband:
❝My dear daughter, if advice were to be left off due to the refinement of one's manners then you would be in no need of that. However, it is a reminder for the heedless and useful tool for the intelligent. If it were that a woman could go without a husband due to the wealth of her parents and their great need for her then you would be the least of the people in need for that. However, the women have been created for the men and the men for the women.
My dear daughter, you have left the environment from which you have sprouted and left the life which you have grown up in, going to a home that you do not know and a companion that you are unfamiliar with. He has become, by his authority over you, an overseer and a king. So be a slave to him and he will be a willing servant to you.
My dear daughter, take from me ten qualities and they will be for you an asset and a reminder:
Accompany him in contentment and be amicable with him by hearing and obeying.
Safeguard where his eyes land and safeguard what his nose smells, so that his eyes never see anything ugly from you and his nose never smells any repugnant odor. Kohl is the best make-up and water [i.e., good hygiene] is the best perfume.
Safeguard his meal times and keep tranquil his sleep times. The heat of hunger is infuriating and deprivation of sleep is irritating.
Safeguard his home and his money and take good care of him, his relatives, and take care of his children. Safeguarding his money is a sign of good judgement and taking care of his children and relatives is a sign of good management.
Don't spread his secrets and don't disobey his commands. If you spread his secrets you will not be safe of him lying to you and if you oppose his commands he will resent you.
Beware of displaying joy when he is upset and and sadness when he is happy. The first is irresponsible and the second is antagonistic.
The more you honor him the more veneration he will have for you; the more you are in agreement with him the longer your time will be with him.
And know, that you will not attain that which you want from him until you give preference to pleasing him over pleasing yourself and to his desire over your own in whether you like it or not. And may Allāh give good to all.❞
[Bulūgh Al-Arb By Al-Alūsī, (2/19)
Umāmah Bint Al-Hārith said to her daughter when she was being sent off to her husband:
❝My dear daughter, if advice were to be left off due to the refinement of one's manners then you would be in no need of that. However, it is a reminder for the heedless and useful tool for the intelligent. If it were that a woman could go without a husband due to the wealth of her parents and their great need for her then you would be the least of the people in need for that. However, the women have been created for the men and the men for the women.
My dear daughter, you have left the environment from which you have sprouted and left the life which you have grown up in, going to a home that you do not know and a companion that you are unfamiliar with. He has become, by his authority over you, an overseer and a king. So be a slave to him and he will be a willing servant to you.
My dear daughter, take from me ten qualities and they will be for you an asset and a reminder:
Accompany him in contentment and be amicable with him by hearing and obeying.
Safeguard where his eyes land and safeguard what his nose smells, so that his eyes never see anything ugly from you and his nose never smells any repugnant odor. Kohl is the best make-up and water [i.e., good hygiene] is the best perfume.
Safeguard his meal times and keep tranquil his sleep times. The heat of hunger is infuriating and deprivation of sleep is irritating.
Safeguard his home and his money and take good care of him, his relatives, and take care of his children. Safeguarding his money is a sign of good judgement and taking care of his children and relatives is a sign of good management.
Don't spread his secrets and don't disobey his commands. If you spread his secrets you will not be safe of him lying to you and if you oppose his commands he will resent you.
Beware of displaying joy when he is upset and and sadness when he is happy. The first is irresponsible and the second is antagonistic.
The more you honor him the more veneration he will have for you; the more you are in agreement with him the longer your time will be with him.
And know, that you will not attain that which you want from him until you give preference to pleasing him over pleasing yourself and to his desire over your own in whether you like it or not. And may Allāh give good to all.❞
[Bulūgh Al-Arb By Al-Alūsī, (2/19)
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Umar Ibn al-Khattab رضي الله عنه was once circumambulating the Kabah when he heard two men speaking in a language other than arabic behind him. He turned to them and said:
“Find some way to learn arabic.”
المصنف للإمام عبد الرزاق 5/496
“Find some way to learn arabic.”
المصنف للإمام عبد الرزاق 5/496
Al-Hasan al-Basri رحمه الله said:
“Do not be occupied with ephemeral worldly pleasure and forget the Hereafter, your life is short,
so hurry up and do not postpone today's work till tomorrow because you do not know when you will die and meet Allah.”
حلية الأولياء 2/140
“Do not be occupied with ephemeral worldly pleasure and forget the Hereafter, your life is short,
so hurry up and do not postpone today's work till tomorrow because you do not know when you will die and meet Allah.”
حلية الأولياء 2/140
The scholars differ concerning this matter: Are sins expiated through righteous actions or is repentance necessary?
That which is correct based upon the proof is that major sins require repentance. The Prophet ﷺ said:
“The five daily prayers, and Jumu'ah prayer to Jumu'ah prayer, is expiation for what comes in between them as long as major sins have not been committed.” (Jami’ at-Tirmidhi 214)
If the expiation doesn't counteract the small sins, then they lessen the major sins. For example: If a person has minor sins, then he performs wudu so his minors sins are erased, then he prays while not having any minor sins—it is hoped that these deeds will lessen his major sins. These deeds will not completely remove his major sins (as repentance is required), but it is hoped that they will lessen them.
Explanation of the concise advises of Shaykh-ul-Islam ibn Taymiyyah by Shaykh Sulayman ar-Ruhayli pg 55
That which is correct based upon the proof is that major sins require repentance. The Prophet ﷺ said:
“The five daily prayers, and Jumu'ah prayer to Jumu'ah prayer, is expiation for what comes in between them as long as major sins have not been committed.” (Jami’ at-Tirmidhi 214)
If the expiation doesn't counteract the small sins, then they lessen the major sins. For example: If a person has minor sins, then he performs wudu so his minors sins are erased, then he prays while not having any minor sins—it is hoped that these deeds will lessen his major sins. These deeds will not completely remove his major sins (as repentance is required), but it is hoped that they will lessen them.
Explanation of the concise advises of Shaykh-ul-Islam ibn Taymiyyah by Shaykh Sulayman ar-Ruhayli pg 55
Imām Mālik said: “If a man meets Allāh with sins of the whole earth but (he) meets Allāh upon Sunnah then (he) will be in Jannah with the Prophets, the truthful ones, the martyrs, the righteous ones and excellent are those as companions!”
{ذم الكلام وأهله}
{ذم الكلام وأهله}
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ʿAbdullāh ibn Abī Zakariyyā said :
أخبرنا الحوطي، أخبرنا وهب بن عمرو بن عبد الأحموسي، أخبرنا أبو سبأ عتبة بن تميم، عن عبد الله بن أبي زكريا، قال : من كثر كلامه كثر سقطه، ومن كثر سقطه قل ورعه، ومن قل ورعه مات قلبه، ومن مات قلبه حرم الله عليه الجنة
Whoever speaks excessively will make frequent mistakes, and whoever makes frequent mistakes will have little piety, and whoever has little piety will have a dead heart, and whoever’s heart is dead, Allāh will forbid Paradise for him.
كتاب الزهد لابن أبي عاصم (54)
أخبرنا الحوطي، أخبرنا وهب بن عمرو بن عبد الأحموسي، أخبرنا أبو سبأ عتبة بن تميم، عن عبد الله بن أبي زكريا، قال : من كثر كلامه كثر سقطه، ومن كثر سقطه قل ورعه، ومن قل ورعه مات قلبه، ومن مات قلبه حرم الله عليه الجنة
Whoever speaks excessively will make frequent mistakes, and whoever makes frequent mistakes will have little piety, and whoever has little piety will have a dead heart, and whoever’s heart is dead, Allāh will forbid Paradise for him.
كتاب الزهد لابن أبي عاصم (54)
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Ḥasan al-Baṣrī رحمه الله said: ❝Man is ungrateful - he counts the disasters while forgetting the blessings of his Lord.❞
{جامع البيان عن تأويل أي القرآن ٢٤/٥٥٧}
{جامع البيان عن تأويل أي القرآن ٢٤/٥٥٧}
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