she was like that, living in the moment, telling me how bad she wanted to be loved, how she has always chosen the wrong person to fall for, how badly she needs a guy who'd give her his life, who'd validate her all the time, who'd remind her if she's wrong sometimes.

oh how she kept defining her perfect man, and how i kept molding myself in those words

but i had known wrong, i assumed wrong that's what i always do
she wasn't like that at all, she was always worrying about her future, always being the embodiment of others' expectations.

she never wanted that defined man she talked about. she was just like a mirror, always reflecting others personality, she had no personality of her own. she was just reflecting myself with her words,

and i decided to ask her what she really wanted and the aftermath was just mesmerizing for any eyes to watch.

how the perfectly shaped sand idol, turned into a mirror just like her

type of shit I've been on

शमा कहे परवाने से, "परे चला जा
मेरी तरह जल जाएगा, यहाँ नहीं आ"

her voice feels like i need to lay on somebody's lap

Khud ke posts pe react krne ki buri adat lag gai hai👆😔

I need RTX 4090

how do you control it? the uncontrolled anger?
or do you ppl have never even felt that?
when you just want to kill the person in front of you, no matter what position he holds into your mind?
or is this just another symptom of my chronic stress?
or maybe the world's just became more fucked up that's getting on my nerves?
if somebody says even a bit of insult like even minor ones to my mother, which is mostly common in families, i just want to punch him in the face and just keep messing with the structure, be it my anybody.

maybe I'd do this someday, if she won't be by my side anymore to scold me from shouting at them.

okay nvm, anger went way

the addiction is unreal

can confirm. no male ego shattered.

i used to think that i 'think' a lot cause every second there was something going on in my mind. be it politics, movies, girls, beating 200K in subway surfers or what i need to make for dinner.

i used to think like a "survivalist", who just needs to pass the day without dying.

now, i keep staring out the corridor thinking literally "nothing", when i get a grasp on myself and realise I was looking at the sky with a blank mind. lol

maybe I'm thinking about everything and forgetting everything in the meantime or I've gone even below the level of survivalist.

you can call that 'retarded zone'. I'm officially a mindless retard now