lord, grant me open mind and total awareness for that is the only thing i crave right now.
give me ability to not miss any detail.

and at the end, let me have fun.

Not naming the reality adds to the denial.

i feel sad for people who are a little too obsessed with chess

i wish i didn't see it

"humans are parasites to each others, we drain each other, we use each other, we traumatize each other.."
"we create the very thing which destroys us"
"If we don't stop seeing each other as disposable, we'll build a world where none of us matter."
"How we ruin each other and call it normal..."

A paradox of control,
craving understanding but fearing the loss of wonder.

i have started these

there was an option to learn piano on duo so i applied for that too.
i promise I'll join classes asap

she is the rookie to my ki ki ay

max is a rookie and Alonso is ki ki aying with daniel—🥰

do i regret monologue-ing my whole though process? YES
it does make it more understandable, smoother and more clear to process, but the time it takes...what i can do in 10-15 ms gets done in 2-4s which is frustrating and it's too hard to unlearn this technique. sometimes i wish i did not talk to myself and keep ongoing with flow in my thoughts but doing monologue is like speed breakers.

i don't wanna flood my stuff here and keep this place sophisticated. So i've created another channel to store and tally all my progress (if you're interested to follow)

it's very new and young, so there's not much (also there will be too much activity in that channel, so don't join if you don't want noise)