A poet of decay,
who finds beauty in destruction but secretly hopes to find something lasting.

if mental issues were not real, they would never make movies about it and call that "slice of life"

i need to learn to keep all the details in check.

https://youtu.be/tcz07ZnWIDM

excitement is the cause, excitement is the effect
- SSR

lord, grant me open mind and total awareness for that is the only thing i crave right now.
give me ability to not miss any detail.

and at the end, let me have fun.

Not naming the reality adds to the denial.

i feel sad for people who are a little too obsessed with chess

i wish i didn't see it

"humans are parasites to each others, we drain each other, we use each other, we traumatize each other.."
"we create the very thing which destroys us"
"If we don't stop seeing each other as disposable, we'll build a world where none of us matter."
"How we ruin each other and call it normal..."

A paradox of control,
craving understanding but fearing the loss of wonder.