everyday i regress over the thought "there is nothing useful left in this world anymore, it's in shambles and world will collapse in few centuries if not decades"
then i get to see an art, art so captivating it waters my eyes involuntarily,
then i get to have a bite, a bite of something which makes my heart melt and makes me wanna acknowledge my will to live,
then i get to hear a music, rhythm which shakes my heart, makes me look into mirror and have myself confront why am i the way i am?
then i get to read a book, a book which is so mind dwelling, the only thing which leaves me with is crisis because why i am not able to think that deep? why am i not able to reach his process, what is in him which i lack, then, then i finally think there is nothing useful in this world anymore and there's no point in these at all.

A shapeshifter of identity,
who resists being defined, even by yourself.

"one man in diamond armour is worth two in iron"
- Technoblade

people who act helpless and mourn over having only daughters-
deserve to be childless

art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable
- Banksy

man can do what he wants, but he cannot want what he wants
- Arthur Schopenhauer

~udaan

I think self-awareness is a gift of the sensitive kid, the ability to notice patterns and contradictions within yourself. What comes along with it is self-judgement, hyperawareness of all the flaws you have and that somehow it's you're fault, and that you have to change yourself to be worthy. This comes from lack of emotional attunement from the parents in childhood, not being seen and loved unconditionally, leads us to believe that the way we are is not accepted, thus we blame ourselves for it, we seek to change ourselves so that people will finally love us. But I think the antidote to this is self-compassion, to understand ourselves not from a place of judgement, but curiosity. To question why we do the things we do, and understanding them, from a place of love, not hate. Because it's not our fault, the way we are, the way world, it's not anyones fault, we don't hurt ourselves or others deliberately, we simply are unaware of why we do it, but also not to justify it. And once we understand the root cause of our patterns, only then can we seek to change and take responsibility. The goal isn't to become the best version of ourselves, but the truest version, the restore the wholeness we lost at birth.

— yt@/muhammadnajib2291

Your surface-level conceptualizing won't earn you an arc,dawg.

i really let go of everything more easily than i imagined

@

fuckkkk yeahhhhh