my mind is a machine which can suck whole ocean up and piss back the immaculate beauty

"there was only one curse worse than having wishes granted, he knew
and that was to have a wish granted,
only once."

mimi wondered has he made a philosopher or has he made a bullshitter?
and he realised he just asked the same question twice.

https://youtu.be/om6uhLs75Bk

im sure majority of you won't even finish this video, but whoever will. please come to me after watching it. i wanna talk so much about it.

a lizard crawls inside my mind whenever i close my eyes.
a reflection to how i stick to the walls and make it infected and dirty?

An architect of detachment,
but one who still leaves secret doors open for meaning.

- i'm in love with a dead person
"how did she die?"
- i killed her.

sleepwalking through existence?

i made a mental bet with a person in september 2024 or around that. we just had a little dispute over what i lack which he doesn’t, and the one thing he said was poetry. i was like... yeah? because it's not suited for me. i can never write good poetry; the rhymes don’t occur to me, and the words don’t come to me. the only conjunction and interjection i can do is in math equations.

i knew it was an excuse, so i joined many channels all that i could find related to poetry: "gira's box," "whispered verse," "lilpoetic," "tacit," etc.—many such. i think i tried to copy their methods and originality, but it quite didn’t work out. it was likely i was trying to put chatgpt on a leash and spit out some forced rhymes that didn’t rhyme at all.

anyways, after i suppose 3-4 months, i really found out that this is not a hobby i want to adopt. but there’s never just one form of expressing your thoughts. i took a more blatant, less rhythmic, more chaotic form of writing—straight up blabbering whatever the fuck popped into my mind. which was total fucking organic; i was developing words i didn’t know i had in my mind. at one point, i created this channel and wanted to speak aloud my thoughts, which were idk if genuine or influenced, but were mine. at some point it was in my mind, and i issued it on the channel before i lost the grasp of it forever.

that’s when i acknowledged the fact that he might be better than me at poetry, but i have a special talent
the talent to think, to pop out a sentence in a way which i didn’t create or form from scratch but was just summoned in my mind somehow.

or maybe i just haven’t reverse-engineered this origination of thoughts, but i still know it’s something that gets farmed organically, and it feels total pure bliss.

rational people never hold a permanent place in anybody's heart

i personally wanna eat everybody's head who's spitting on ghibli art, i hope someday when they will create something, something worth showing to others, something which even reflects a single part of their life, something which is able to tell a story by just looking at it. on that day, i hope they feel disgusted to the core for doing what they're doing rn. animation, art and music holds a close place in my heart and something that relives me but whatever this shit is, it's not even able to copy 1% of essence but adding 99% for shame.

it truly is a greatest insult to his life.

Isn't it funny?
How people get offended by literally anything, but when it comes to robbing someone's soul poured work, as just another technological enhancement...