Charisma is a lie. Confidence can be faked. Competence is the only true measure of things.

"then i realised, why should i only use one art form to offend people"

Sometimes I pause mid-conversation and realize I’m playing a character. This version of me—crafted for this specific moment, this specific person—is not the real me. It’s just the one I calculated would be the easiest to digest. And I don’t even know when I started doing that.

i want this month to end and april too and the one after that and the next one.. get me to fucking new year please. i have already completed all of my quests in this one.

just wanna lay down on my bed and listen to music

When they start giving you late replies and being less talkative so you know your free trial is over.

my mind is a machine which can suck whole ocean up and piss back the immaculate beauty

"there was only one curse worse than having wishes granted, he knew
and that was to have a wish granted,
only once."

mimi wondered has he made a philosopher or has he made a bullshitter?
and he realised he just asked the same question twice.

https://youtu.be/om6uhLs75Bk

im sure majority of you won't even finish this video, but whoever will. please come to me after watching it. i wanna talk so much about it.

a lizard crawls inside my mind whenever i close my eyes.
a reflection to how i stick to the walls and make it infected and dirty?

An architect of detachment,
but one who still leaves secret doors open for meaning.

- i'm in love with a dead person
"how did she die?"
- i killed her.

sleepwalking through existence?

i made a mental bet with a person in september 2024 or around that. we just had a little dispute over what i lack which he doesn’t, and the one thing he said was poetry. i was like... yeah? because it's not suited for me. i can never write good poetry; the rhymes don’t occur to me, and the words don’t come to me. the only conjunction and interjection i can do is in math equations.

i knew it was an excuse, so i joined many channels all that i could find related to poetry: "gira's box," "whispered verse," "lilpoetic," "tacit," etc.—many such. i think i tried to copy their methods and originality, but it quite didn’t work out. it was likely i was trying to put chatgpt on a leash and spit out some forced rhymes that didn’t rhyme at all.

anyways, after i suppose 3-4 months, i really found out that this is not a hobby i want to adopt. but there’s never just one form of expressing your thoughts. i took a more blatant, less rhythmic, more chaotic form of writing—straight up blabbering whatever the fuck popped into my mind. which was total fucking organic; i was developing words i didn’t know i had in my mind. at one point, i created this channel and wanted to speak aloud my thoughts, which were idk if genuine or influenced, but were mine. at some point it was in my mind, and i issued it on the channel before i lost the grasp of it forever.

that’s when i acknowledged the fact that he might be better than me at poetry, but i have a special talent
the talent to think, to pop out a sentence in a way which i didn’t create or form from scratch but was just summoned in my mind somehow.

or maybe i just haven’t reverse-engineered this origination of thoughts, but i still know it’s something that gets farmed organically, and it feels total pure bliss.

rational people never hold a permanent place in anybody's heart