i have a way to justify why being in the median actually profits more than living on extremes,
like the protector, where both extremes have 0 and 180. similarly, people who share your beliefs will see you as 180 which is very much okay, but others will see you on 0. i know most of you are going to say "i don't really care about public's opinion".
think again, because that's not how it works.
whereas, for the median people such as me, people will always see me neutral or you can say 90, and that is truly not caring about other's opinion. it's a peak which when you reach you'll see the true nature of extremes.

weird, anyways.
i have been on both extremes in 18yrs of my life (lmao)
and when we are on the emotional side, we tend to perceive people very judgmentally and always find a reason to checklist our so called 'lists' whose existence we might not be aware of, but we do it unconsciously (we realise this later). when we have those lists done, we either let people inside our zone or keep them out of it, and ofcourse we are not Fredrich Nietzsche, that we understand humans to their core, we miss out on most of the aspects which were too important and the sole blame for this could be dumped on your rational side, which isn't ever active. and then we cry about it and blame own self for it, ending this as either self harm or harming others around us.

and when we get fed up of being used, thrown, spitted, dumped, and more shit like that. our brains starts focusing on the rational side and labels all the others emotional aspects of the 'list' as garbage, ending up creating a persona of 'numb' which is obvious.
then none of the things interests us, be it a woman sitting naked in front of you. We forget how to love and how to share sympathy and how to live with people generously. It's true you don't get your 'heart-broken' in this extreme like the other, but you might never get the broken pieces repaired, ever.
we miss on all the opportunities our lives offers us, all the loves our well-wisher wants to give us, and all the more like that.

we wear an impenetrable armour, just to protect the nothingness that lies under that.

Then comes the realisation part, which is almost surreal to believe in
just think about it, you've been sitting on your sofa whole day and suddenly someone forces you to stand up, that's a fucking orgasm to your legs, like literal ones.
if you'll have the people around you, who truly will believe in you, who truly wants good for us, then only you can ever throw yourself back to the median from the extreme edge. most people live on the edge for their whole life, then cry about life has never offered them anything. the offerings doesn't have to be as 'success in career, workspace', rather every faces of 'success'.


this isn't the end though, i have yet to see the whole of my life, i want to meet all the different kinds of people whom i've never met, i want to be in the 'phases' of life where they say 'kid you're too young to say stuff like that, you haven't seen our issues yet'.
So, that i could add more extremes to my two dimensional portrayal of life, and different kinds of more median too.

TL;DR:

as the name suggests, this is all the bullshiting i wanted to do. if you wanna read it, waste your time and if no-, thank you

PS to my new friend: sadness is temporary, and you know this better than majority, at the end of day you and all will sleep peacefully. Things always go wrong way, but that doesn't mean we should stop expecting anything out of it. We should cry our hearts out, but never forget your rational side, stay on the median.

imma ace this game soon.

would like to galvanize your rusted skin?
or replace them?

The things you own end up owning you

@

fuck this shit, imma sleep.

@

▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ 99%

@

i need a creativity farm in my head

but sometimes I wish, I didn't

ahem, hi.

this is our peak of lifeless rants