when the devil couldn't reach me so instead he gave me a mind that is incredibly fixated on things to the point where i don't even understand myself

mathematics cooked me so much, I'm just finding probabilities of almost every events just to make sure things don't derail.

if you guys wanna share songs with me with some subtext... then do it under the reciept of 'suraj'

or, sendthesong.xyz

this is the perfect 4 sides I've found yet

Left two quadrants are all serious and right two look at brighter sider of the life?
While lower 2 as mix can be taken as professional sides, upper two are private/confidential or informal

- smartass flower

rage is what follows right after fear

'घूरना बंद करो, नूर'

the fuzzy/messy hair when you just wake up is so fking hot >>>

lately feeling very euphoric, time to inject arctic monkeys to get in touch with myself

what is enjoying life really? is it working hard, grinding each and every day to prove yourself that you're better than yesterday and keep moving till you reach a satisfactory state where you can literally feel you've achieved everything (which is not possible) but you will still run for the dilemma cause you enioy living it like that, you just wanna become exceptional...

or is it forgetting every goals and target and enjoy each and every seconds with your people, find that crowd and live every day without caring for any money or food or shelter and just fucking live like absurdist? forget every worries and pain and suffering and just go on like you're only gonna live till 28. (which is not possible)

or could be it's just the balance between them.... but reallly????? why I'd wanna work if i have the perfect people with me to live my life? or why would i wanna enjoy when your brain constantly ticks like a time bomb to get back to work because you don't wanna waste a single second?

people always tell me, you're lucky that you have everything figured out... you know what you gonn do today or tomorrow but, no
i don't know what I'm gonna do..sometimes i just wanna leave everything and walk around the world eating food in some temple, sleeping under a shelter and just focusing on finding new things, reaching out for stuffs that I'd never known existed and collect ideas and memories
.
.
and sometimes i want to ditch every people in the world and focus on myself, improving me to the point i know every decision I'll make is correct and earn money through it and find success and get rich and be invincible

nowadays there's so many aspects of life which you can approach that you just sit whole day and think what you gonna choose today