i just hope nobody sees me as a Role Model

i wanna eat coffee and sleep.
shut my brain up for few weeks then come back fresh

I'll never be able to pull a trigger or hang myself,
but i'm very sure
if i can, then i will drive my car on the highway as fast as i can
with all the rush, i don't care if i survive or die
i'd rather die flying than choking myself.

just the way she did

"i'm fucking invincible"

the fact that i clicked my mbti on personality-database and each character i saw were either villains or characters i felt related to

i'm not even surprised by this

All i wanted was love, why am i trying to be perfect?

day by day i just wanna become a crime detective or a forensic member
last night i was looking for a college related to forensics sciences lol

fuck man, i love learning so much.
times when i find a problem that just drops your jaw into perplexity

4 times consecutive pole for leclerc in baku 😎

there's just so many people in this world, with so much ambition as bright as mine. So many people can choose to just sit on their sofa everyday and live a normal life enjoy their summers go on a hike and spend time with their loved ones in a nice state living a normal average life but people like me, people like us are fucking driven by passion I don't want sit on my sofa and watch movies and do my lawn for a whole day. I'll rather choose to be in the eye of a tornado fucking my brains out by sorting all the mess that's the kind of thrill I live for.
and so do all the people, it's so amazing to think that we will die in just few 20 years and each and every year is so important for our life cause we can go back to 0 in a day 1, but it'll take decades to be where you are now and the very fact is so scaring. it's like playing a video game where once you die you start from beginning all over (or maybe not).

But that is exactly what makes itworth living, worth trying, cause fucking hell nobody is gonna remember you in vast shithole so try whatever the fuck you wanna try. DAMN
I just wish somebody will rewind my life all over like a movie and have an opinion about it, cause why am I even doing this for? if not to be understood? why are we even doing this?
where does this desire even comes from? why do we feel all of it? so much fire inside us, we are just like a matchstick compared to real thing, we'll get lit up and burn so bright then die being ashes sticking on that burning stick.