I think this essay is related to anyone who has gone abroad.
First months or first half year feels like a paradise.
Everything seems new, and you look at things with an eye of the child.
However, be prepared.
This novelty will wash out someday.
Out of a sudden all of your motivation, drive might go away, and that's OK.
Just keep going during this boring, gray days.
Let the consistency and discipline be your friends.
Please DO NOT rely on temporary motivation bursts because they will seem like they are helping you, but actually they are misleading you.
The motivation will be gone, and you again might start feeling miserable.
Rely on only discipline and habits. They will help you the most to get over the depression.

This is my reflection of the last months.
Sorry for messy structure. 😅
Lately, I was writing a lot. A LOT. But this was "writers vomit".
Now, working on how to shape my thought, and I hope that soon my efforts will yield the results.

Al - Xorazmiy silaaa 😎
Elbek, Asilbek yutuqlar bilan tabriklayman 👏👏
Bardavom bólsin 🥳🥳🥳

Al Khwarazmi is cooking 🔥😮‍💨
I wish you the best guys ✊
Inshallah together we will make Uzbekistan proud 💪🤲

Good Morning 🌅
AND
Eid Mubarak to everyone on my channel.
Let this day be wonderful and full of surprises 😊️️

Ауф quote 😎

Alhamdulillah broke my personal record today!
First time running 5K under 22 minutes. 😁

Hammaga Assalomu alaykum 👋
Kanalimda ko'pchilik maktab o'quvchilari bo'lgani uchun sizlardan savol so'ramoqchi edim.

Chet elga o'qishga topshirayotganda sizlar uchun eng katta qiyinchilik nimada?

Why I disappeared?

Good afternoon everyone!

It has been a long time since I have written anything meaningful on my channel. Dozens of words can be said about why I wasn't posting, but if I were to summarize it into 3 words, I would say:
Obsession with Success

When I say OBSESSED, I do not mean just spending most of the time.
I imply reckless and restless dedication towards the goal. For me, it is a state when a mind is constantly overwhelmed from sunrise to sunset.
Let it be eating, brushing my teeth, or even praying - I was constantly thinking about how to spend my time more productively.

Now, you might be wondering, *"Why is he talking about this?"*
My purpose is simple: I would like to inform you about the dangers of having "Do or Die" mindset.
Today, I will reveal the dark truth of being "driven by goals", so take a deep breath and be prepared for immersion...

> *Success.*
> The word I hear the most in my head. Voices inside are constantly telling me, "Achieve. Don't lose any second. Spend every opportunity you have to get closer to your goals. It's either you achieve or you are done!" wherever I am and no matter what I'm doing. I hear the voices during lessons, while I'm sleeping, or talking to somebody. Physically I am present, yet my consciousness is miles away. I am never focused on the present - constantly thinking and planning my next step.

Every second of my day is spent on designing a plan that should bring me success. Obsession with my plan starts to take over. I am having the highest expectations that the plan will perfectly work out...

*Snap!*

The plan failed. I completed none of the tasks in my list.
Why? Because I was not good enough. "I failed to achieve my goal" was equal to "I am a failure" for me. My expectations were ruined, self-confidence shattered, and self-worth was put to doubt.
It was "Do or die". I failed, then the only option left is die...
I am in dead end, and I am left with only 2 options: Do or die...

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Yes! I used to have such dark thoughts in my mind. I was in combat against them for a long time, but as you can guess from this post, I found a solution. The next post will be dedicated to this topic.
Stay tuned.