This is Socrates’ advice for a good confession. I remind you there is a “save message” feature on telegram (I think, I’ve never personally used it).

This advice is to help you to make a good confession, even protecting yourself from a sinful one, by not taking the sacrament seriously enough through introspection and reflection. We do not rush into any other sacrament, we observe fasts before the receiving the Holy Eucharist, we certainly consider marriage carefully, so why should we wantonly receive absolution for our sins without due consideration? This will be especially useful for those who attend confession regularly without having committed mortal sin, which I strongly recommend since “Even an empty room acquires dust” as said Padre Pio (I think, but it’s a good quote nevertheless).

So it is my personal practice and advice to ask the same Lord who offers forgiveness for our sins to reveal them to us, that we may be fully contrite and fully humbled by them, as is why we are permitted to sin in the first place. But let our shame not diminish us and make us feel small, but call to mind God’s great glory and mercy by offering us pardon for them.

This particular devotion consists of using a 7 Dolors of Mary rosary (or an adapted version with a standard 10 bead variety) to reflect on our sins. I find that each of us have one of the 7 deadly sins which we hold in particularly high regard, which draws us into other sins. The 7 were first conceived of because they serve Satan as a gateway to other sins, so therefore by reflecting on them and seeking reconciliation with God, let us walk back through that gate, slam the door shut in Satans face and chide him through the bars.

“He who blushes to discover his sins to a man, and who will not confess, shall be covered with shame on the Day of Judgment in the presence of the whole universe."
-St John Chrysostom

1:
- In the name of the Father (touch forehead) and the of son (you know the rest), and the Holy Spirit
- Recite the Apostles Creed

2. On each of the beads say the prayer “O Lord, grant me the light, to see myself as thou dost see me, and the grace to be truly and effectively sorry for my sins. Holy Mary, help me to make a good confession.”

3:
- Glory be…
- O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, especially those most in need of thy mercy
- Lord assist me to know the times at which my pride has led me to push you away in the conceit of my heart, as I reflect upon the sins of pride.
- A minute to reflect upon the sins of pride (We start with pride since it is the origin of all the sins you will later come to. Rejecting God is to aggrandise your own will above his, to think you know better and can make it alone. The cure is humility, hence it is fruitful to take time to acknowledge just how weak we are and how repugnant a sinner we have been. If you need assistance in acquiring this humility, beseech the Virgin Mary, the ever glorious Queen of Humility). Here are some things to consider:
• Have I willingly rejected the teachings of God?
• Have I thought myself above his commandments?
• Have failed to acknowledge my sins in my own heart?
• Am I truly humbled by my sin and truly contrite for them (this is a separate sin, which can also be confessed)?
• Am I not truly sorry for my sin and intend to do it again?
• Have I or am I presuming on God’s mercy?
• Have I denied God
• Have I blasphemed against God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Spirit
• Have I spoken of God dismissively or disrespectful of the Lord, the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Saints or Prophets?
• Have I failed to forgive my neighbour?
• Have I inflated my own needs above those of others
• Have I considered myself to be above others in piety, sanctity or any other metric?
• Have I marvelled and admired my own glories?
• Have I been vain?
• Have I failed to genuflect or be otherwise insufficiently humbled by God’s glory?
• Have I committed sacrilege
• Have I failed to bear testimony to God against strife and persecution?
• Have I failed to perceive God in everybody?
- Our Father…

4: See 2

5:
- Glory be…
- O my Jesus…
- Lord assist me to know the times at which my lustfulness has led me to indulge in the impermanent and rotten fruits of this world, over your bread of life, as I reflect upon the sins of lust:
• Have I committed the sin of formication (the sin of scandal to your sexual partner should be confessed too, since, if you are a man it is your duty to safeguard your woman from evil, and if you are a woman you should know better than to entice your man)
• Have I ventured too far with another and failed to protect myself from the near temptation to sin (Kissing too passionately, groping places you shouldn’t etc)
• Have I been avoided the near occasion of sin with my pre-marital partner by allowing myself to be left alone with them I.e staying over at their house, sharing the same room at a hotel on holiday, moving in with them before marriage etc?
• Have I made use of contraception
• Have I failed to safeguard my gaze (a glance that leads to a lustful stirring is an innocent mistake, merely indicative your reproductive organs functionality. A second glance is a venial sin, returning to what you know now you shouldn’t desire, but brooding and meditating on it later is a mortal sin, voluntarily choosing to occupy your mind with wickedness over God)
• Have I watched pornography?
• Have I masturbated?
• Have I committed adultery
• Have I committed adultery in my heart and lingered too long on thoughts or desires for other women when I am married or committed to my pre-marital partner?
• Have I spoken or joked about matters of lust, which may invoke the urges of another and lead them to sin?
• Have beheld sex and sensual passions over God and made them too much a feature of my heart, failing to turn them over to God?
• Have I been too open to sex, though unrequited, but merely due to lack of opportunity more than rejection of sin?
• Have I advised others to commit lustful sins or failed to council them away from things which may lead them closer to sin e.g failing to tell a friend they should cut ties with the hello kitty girl on monthly contraception injections?
• Have I avoided the near occasion of sin by avoided places which invoke temptation e.g visiting an ex’s house, walking by a strip club, swimming at a nudist beach etc
• Have I allowed temptation to dwell and fester in my mind or fondly recalled in detail any past sexual encounter?
- Our Father…

6:
- Glory be…
- O my Jesus…
- Lord assist me to know the times where my greed and desire for Earthly possessions has drawn me away from the heavenly, as I reflect upon the sins of greed:
• Have I been stingy with my money during mass?
• Have I refused to give alms to those who need it more (there is always somebody who needs it more)
• Have I more personal possessions than I require?
• Have I been frivolous with money?
• Have I placed the pursuit of earthy wealth over spiritual wealth e.g missing mass for extra shifts at work
• Have I been failed to do charitable work because it was unpaid?
• Have I failed in my spiritual duties for the sake of personal gain e.g failing to evangelise for the sake of networking and wanting to be liked?
• Have I been resisting a call to Holy Orders for the sake of world possessions?
- Our Father

To be continued

7.
- Glory be…
- O my Jesus…
- Lord assist me to know the times where my gluttony has led me to overindulge in the bread of this world which will leave me hungry, rather than focuses on the bread of eternal life, as I reflect upon the sins of my gluttony:
• Have I failed to observe the fast days of the church or my own fasts I undertook out of personal piety?
• Have I eaten far beyond my own requirements?
• Have I eaten purely for decadent reasons
• Have I failed to thank God for the food I have an been ungrateful?
• Have I eaten foods which I know are bad for me purely for decadence’s sake?
• Am I overweight due to a lack of self control?
• Have I failed to observe days of abstinence such as during lent or on a Friday (without adequate substitution through minor penances/acts of piety, if your archbishop is lenient on Friday abstinences)
• Have I eaten and rejected the primary endpoint of food I.e sustenance e.g ensuring vomiting to eat more etc
- Our Father

8. Glory be…
- O my Jesus
- Lord assist me to know the times where my envy has led me to covet what it has been your will to provide for another and not myself, forgive my conceit and help me to know the sins of my envy:
• Have I been scorned God for not providing for me what others have?
• Have I stolen?
• Have I been jealous of another’s property?
• Have I resented others for God’s graces?
• Have I conspired to deprive others of their blessings or otherwise been spiteful toward them?
• Have I been unforgiving in my spite?
• Have I questioned God’s will?
• Have I felt that God isn’t “Holding up his end of the deal”?

(Gosh darn this has taken longer than I expected)

9. Glory be…
- O my Jesus…
- Lord assist me to know the times that my sloth has led me to be slack in the most important things, and negligent of my duties to you and to your children, help me to know the sins of my sloth:
Sloth:
• Have I neglected work/school tasks?
• Have I neglected chores?
• Have I slept longer than I should’ve?
• Have I neglected daily prayer?
• Have I let others do work that was assigned to me?
• Have I neglected going to Mass on Sunday?
• Have I been consistently late for Mass for no good reason?
• Have I neglected helping others because it was “inconvenient”?
• Have I failed to reproach others for their sins because I couldn’t be bothered with the argument?

Tip for trusting in God and mitigating the spiritual and mentally deleterious effects of unfortunate events:

When one is confronted with an event which unsettles you or even goes so far as to make you suffer, the most fruitful thing to do is ensure it doesn’t happen again. We are reminded constantly in our churches that God permits suffering as a pathway to grace. This is easy to go unnoticed when the situation - or Satan - distracts and bombards us with only thinking of our present circumstance. My advice in such situations is simply to write a list, a list which contains instruction on where it is you went wrong and how it may be prevented in the future, so you can see your own shortcomings and therefore realise what it is that God is trying to teach you. For example, if you missed out on a lovely Airbnb because you were trying to lowball the host into giving you a discount, then write it down, say what it was I.e greed and stinginess and see perfectly the lesson that must be learnt to avoid it in future. It illuminates the fruitful effects of life’s many sufferings and misfortunes and God’s plan which is often so hard to follow blindly.

A thinly veiled venting also helps.

St Fracis's prayer: "Lord, make me an instrument of your peace: where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy. ... to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life". Amen

I shouldn’t have to point this out (but I will). Christ does not say to Peter - whom he loves - be the perfect man and then receive my love. He loves him despite his shortcomings, despite he repeatedly lets him down. If we love only who are worthy of our love we would not love at all, or be worthy of love ourselves.