Me: Gee, these sure are some great penuts. I sure hope that they are not infected with cyanide

Mr. Cyanide: Hello, it is me. Mr. Cyanide. I can confirm that these peanuts are, without a reasonable doubt, safe from cyanide.

Me: Thanks, Mr. Cyanide! *eats peanut* Tastes like cyanide

Mr. Cyanide: It was not me, as I have told you that they are not infected. However, my diagnosis is not a guarantee and is therefore not legally binding.

Me: Thank you for your honesty, Mr. Cyanide.

the pyro commits a felony and gets sued by the IRS

He committed perjury