I need to feel strongly, to love and to admire, just as desperately as I need to breathe. A letter from a friend, a Balthus painting on a postcard, a page of Saint-Simon, give meaning to the passing hours. But to keep my mind sharp, to avoid descending into resigned indifference, I maintain a level of resentment and anger, neither too much nor too little, just as a pressure cooker has a safety valve to keep it from exploding.

This morning, with first light barely bathing Room 119, evil spirits descended on my world. For half an hour, the alarm on the machine that regulates my feeding tube has been beeping out into the void. I cannot imagine anything so insane or nerve-racking as this piercing beep beep beep pecking away at my brain. As a bonus, my sweat has unglued the tape that keeps my right eyelid closed, and the stuck-together lashes are tickling my pupil unbearably. And to crown it all, the end of my urinary catheter has become detached and I am drenched. Awaiting rescue, I hum an old song by Henri Salvador: "Don't you fret, baby, it'll be all right." And here comes the nurse. Automatically, she turns on the TV. A commercial, with a personal computer spelling out the question: "Were you born lucky?"

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Soon after he returned to Norway in the New Year of 1937, Wittgenstein suffered an accident and broke one of his ribs. This was simply brushed aside with a joke. He told Pattisson: ‘I thought of having it removed & of having a wife made of it, but they tell me that the art of making women out of ribs has been lost.’

The anxious man fears his mind more than anything, because it is the stage for his worst terrors to manifest. So, just like a prey who can't take its eyes away from the lion, fearing he might pounce in a blink, the anxious can't shift his attention away from the imagined predators lurking in the bushes of his mental landscape.

Happy birthday to Leonardo da Vinci, one of the very few men who lived life to its limits

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Anthrax is so fucking interestingggg

بسنة 2001 ورة اسبوع من الـ 9/11 صارت هجمة جديدة بس هالمرة بسلاح بيولوجي هو الجمرة الخبيثة:
وصلت ظروف تحتوي بكتيريا الجمرة الخبيثة لهواي منظمات إعلامية أميركية ولثنين نواب بمجلس الشيوخ، وتسببت بمقتل 22 شخص وإغلاق كومة بنايات وعملية تحقيق واستجواب استغرقت 7 سنوات تقريبًا وكلفت الولايات المتحدة 177 مليون دولار... كله بسبب كم ظرف يحتوي مسحوق أبيض يكدر يكتلك ويكتل شكو واحد بهذا المكان.

الشخص المتهم بالهجوم بالنهاية لا جان القاعدة ولا العراق مثلما أُعلِن بالبداية، بل عالم بمختبر دفاع تابع للحكومة الأميركية إسمه Bruce Ivins يُقال أنه أخذ بعض العينات اللي بمختبره وأرسلها للضحايا بظروف. إيفينز انتحر بـ 2008 قبلما تتم إدانته.