et pour un empire je ne veux me devêtir puisque sans contrefaçon
je suis un garçon.
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скалы покрыты снегом,
ели на них черны.
радость подкатит к горлу.
атомы расщепляются.
фонари зажигаются,
и я закрываю глаза.
муки мои закончатся,
а твои не начнутся.
28.11.2025.
ели на них черны.
радость подкатит к горлу.
атомы расщепляются.
фонари зажигаются,
и я закрываю глаза.
муки мои закончатся,
а твои не начнутся.
28.11.2025.
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i say your name, your name is mine. you are so rough yet so divine. i like your charm, your doting eyes. you are my idol. no surprise. thou love thy neighbour, my love is yours. you’re my religion, you’re mine because i’m truly yours. and in this world you are my rose, you are my sword.
you are my light, you’ve hanged the stars. your life’s a fight, you play guitar in the same way you play my heart, forever happy and yet apart. you are so beautiful, magnetic, without you i go ascetic. you are so broken yet you’re holy. i say your name, your name is
****.
29.11.2025.
you are my light, you’ve hanged the stars. your life’s a fight, you play guitar in the same way you play my heart, forever happy and yet apart. you are so beautiful, magnetic, without you i go ascetic. you are so broken yet you’re holy. i say your name, your name is
****.
29.11.2025.
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romanticising every stranger, i create stories in my head. forget mistakes, forget the danger, when you are on me in my bed. i keep on calling you my saviour, i keep desiring your sweet love. and even if i am a failure, bring love to me, the lord above. i write stupid romantic poems in languages all known to me. my heart’s a tart, my bones are ruins of all the temples people’ve seen. men want, desire, but do they love me? that is the question. be or not. вопрос, как имя твое давний, вопрос древнейший, как твой род.
20.12.2025.
20.12.2025.
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when daddy gets tired of his porcelain doll, please make sure to smash it with a hammer first. you see, porcelain dolls are like pets, like little puppies even. they choose an owner and they get so in love with him that their little hearts break in pieces when he finds a better, new, shinier one. before you decide to throw your once loved little dollie away into the trash, because you broke something in her and she can’t function like she used to, be sure to smash her little head and delicate body into pieces, never forgetting the pink loving heart.
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i exist solely for you. you never asked me to, you don’t even know about that, about my dirty little secret of being completely shallow, of becoming a wounded dog without your touch, a starved greedy sinner for your attention, a mouthless doll when in your arms. every day i think: what if he forgets me? and i think it’ll stop. the world. i’ll just purely stop existing. without you, my heart, i can’t even take a breath. so if you forget… how will i live? i cry every day, thinking about this life without you. like two seconds alone is a rehearsal for an eternity without your sweet presence. and how could i live? you are the crutch that keeps me walking, not crawling. and i pray, i hope with all that’s left in me, though there’s almost nothing, that you won’t let me go. my dear. my sanctuary, my missing piece.
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what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, makes me more attached to order. what doesn’t kill me makes me fear more, what doesn’t kill me makes me me.
apologies that i’ve created make me think i’m hallucinating, the nightmares come, they spoil my dreams, eat me alive they want it seems.
i want to curl up at your feet, you are the one i always need. i want to hug your shoes and weep, i’ve never been in love so deep.
my medicine wants to break free, what doesn’t kill me makes me me. my heart’s so tender, never rough. what doesn’t kill me makes me love.
26.01.2026.
apologies that i’ve created make me think i’m hallucinating, the nightmares come, they spoil my dreams, eat me alive they want it seems.
i want to curl up at your feet, you are the one i always need. i want to hug your shoes and weep, i’ve never been in love so deep.
my medicine wants to break free, what doesn’t kill me makes me me. my heart’s so tender, never rough. what doesn’t kill me makes me love.
26.01.2026.
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