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Kim Jong Un Demands to be Included in all Future Hegseth Group Chats
PYONGYANG (The Borowitz Report)—Stung by his omission from the Trump administration’s recent war-planning chat, on Wednesday Kim Jong Un demanded to be included in all such group chats in the future.
“Why was this Goldberg person, who doesn’t even have nuclear weapons, included?” the North Korean dictator asked. “This should never be allowed to happen in this country.”
Kim said that he had downloaded the latest version of the Signal app and was waiting for Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth to ping him.
Calling his exclusion from the Houthi bombing chat “hurtful,” he said, “I shouldn’t have to read about it in The Atlantic.”
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