$ORCL, Oracle's stock, jumped nearly 11% after beating all earnings metrics

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BREAKING

An Israeli passenger on a cruise ship began freaking out over a man with a swastika tattoo.

Harassing him and demanding the crew remove him from the vessel.

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Part 2

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Centcom Briefing: "Today will be our most intense day of strikes inside Iran yet, most fighters, bombers, and strikes ever."

Iran's missile fire dropped to its lowest level in the last 24 hours.

Day 10 of Operation Epic Fury: "Iran stands alone and is badly losing. We are winning with overwhelming, unrelenting focus and ruthless precision."

Briefings have shifted from "we're hitting them" to "they're barely firing back".

Is Iran running out of big missiles fast or preparing for a prolonged war of attrition?

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$AUPAIR 2x

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Observations at large gatherings in Spain showed that when crowd density reaches about 9 people per square meter, human movement behaves like a fluid, forming natural waves every ~18 seconds

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BREAKING: Prolific Excorcist Father Chad Ripperge claims he has witnessed demons manifest into looking like a gray alien.

"I know other exorcists where they would in session they would see that once the demon manifested, they would manifest in literally looking like an alien with the eyes and the small mouth and the whole bit turning gray.

And they even call themselves gray.

And they try to lie to the exorcist by saying, ‘Oh, well, we're not angels, good good angels, and we're not bad angels. We're not demons. We're kind of in the middle. We're neither good nor bad.’

No, dude. You're just a demon."

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Israeli army says half of Iranian missiles have cluster munitions

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The balls on these f&cking goonbots

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BREAKING: Haaretz:

• Hegseth is arrogant and only Trump can put someone like him at the head of the largest ministry in the United States

• Hegseth is Trump's war minister with no experience and with a slogan of death for all Muslims, and he takes pleasure in violence and lacks empathy with the victims.

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South Park writers:

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Took the au pair out to eat and got her a new bra while the wife was at work

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“Put the au pair’s bra under his bed so that his wife will find it.”

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How the au pair looks at you when you tell her she can no longer walk around the house braless

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