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Degens Deteriorating
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The way bald eagles can look confused and pissed off simultaneously is beautiful

There is no deep ponderous curiosity here

Something confusing happened and he is pissed off

If the thing keeps confusing him he will probably attack it soon

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American is staying at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas

He says he just got there and he’s already spent $200 on bare necessities

- He just touched the coffee K cups, but because there is a sensor and he picked them up they charged a $19.99 restock fee

- He ordered egg fried rice, it was $23 with a service fee of $15. If you go to the lobby it’s a $3 lobby fee to get it

- Getting money was a $12 ATM fee

- $50 resort fee

- He bought water, it was outrageous

- No free bottle waters, no free coffee

- Everything is on scales, if you touch it there’s mandatory fees

β€œThe entire operations of this place is illegal and it needs to be shut down β€” I’m calling the FBI”

β€œNever ever in your life for any reason whatsoever, no matter the discount, no matter the reason, no matter the time of day, never stay at this place, okay? I've been here for less thanβ€” well, about 24 hours at this point. I've spent no less than $200 just surviving on the bare necessities”

β€œDon’t come to Las Vegas”

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BREAKING: Nasdaq 100 futures extend losses to nearly -1% as Bitcoin falls below $65,000

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Californians trapped as cartel unleashes hell near US border over drug kingpin's killing: 'Pray for us'

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F&Ck your optics, I would gut this man open and strangle him with his own intestines, you DO NOT abuse animals much less give them to a man whose "religion/culture" considers dogs "haram" (Filtered.) no punishment in the UK is good enough for this PoS, all I can say isβ€”DUES VULT

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DEVELOPING: Senator Adam Schiff uploaded this dramatic video looking like a β€˜dehydrated honeybun’ to announce that he won’t be attending Trump’s State of the Union because he is accusing the president of β€˜violating the law and constitution.’

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BREAKING: Cartels in Mexico are allegedly digging up parts of their highways to prevent any vehicles from being able to move around

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>be me, cartel sicario

>top boss El Mencho gets absolutely clapped in a joint op

>cartel_groupchat_is_seething.jpg

>leadership loses their minds, declares total war on the US

>say less

>load up the armored Hiluxes, strap on the Gucci plate carriers

>"we're taking back Texas, pendejos"

>roll up to the border looking like Mad Max: Sinaloa Drift

>ready to unleash the Russian and Chinese rockets we bought on the dark web

>suddenly the sky turns an unnatural shade of orange

>every single truck engine simultaneously bricks itself

>radios start blasting "God Bless the USA" on loop, bass-boosted

>try to rack my gold-plated AK

>it literally disassembles itself in my hands

>slam the rocket launch button

>the button just falls off the dashboard

>look at my squad

>homies are literally T-posing

>vocal cords disabled, can only communicate via terrified eye contact

>the entire cartel has literally been paused

>wake up the next day zip-tied in a holding cell

>Trump is on the TV grinning like an absolute menace

>"We used the Discombobulator. It was my name, I'm very proud of the name."

>"They pressed buttons and nothing worked. Everything was discombobulated... even including humans."

>mfw we brought Gucci AKs to a Discombobulator fight

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