boss with laptop and on video chat: wally, it seems that once again you have made no progress on any of your projects.
wally: it looks that way from the outside but what you have to understand is that not doing something is also a decision.
boss: i literally…

boss: ted, the company wants to celebrate you as the first disabled gay person to hold this job.
ted: but... i'm neither gay nor disabled.
boss: the celebration is next week, so you have plenty of time to fix that.

alice: i'm too hungry to make good decisions. i need a break so i can eat a snack.
boss: how do you know your decisions are bad?
alice: i'm starting to agree with you.
boss: i don't understand.
alice is gone: exactly

dilbert: this pandemic has been hard for all of us.
dogbert: not me. i became a bitcoin billionaire and made progress on my covert plan of ruling over the planet.
dilbert: why am i just hearing this?
dogbert: because i'm good at it.

wally: they say the laziest employees are the best because they know how to be efficient. i don't think i get enough credit for all of my efficiency.
boss: efficiency only matters if you are doing something useful.
wally: you're the one who gives me my…

boss: everything that went wrong this year was the fault of the prior manager. i inherited his problems.
dilbert: but everything that went right was because of your excellent leadership?
boss: no jumping ahead.