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If there was an STD that decreased the size of penises, nobody would ever forget to use a condom ever again.

@deepthoughts2

The girl I've been praying to have sex with died today.

On the plus side, I got a job at the local mortuary.

God works in mysterious ways.

@deepthoughts2

There have been nearly 3000 God's so far b/t only yours actually exist.
The others are silly made up nonsense.
But not yours.
Yours is real

@deepthoughts2

We got dreams and the right to chase em

J cole

When you fall in love with the words, it doesn’t mean you know the writer.

@deepthoughts2

መስማት ከሚፈልገዉ በላይ ለሰዉ ከነገርከዉ፣
ጠላት መባል እንደምትችል ቀድመህም እወቀዉ።

#pamfalon
@deepthoughts2

"እንክ ሰላምታ"

"በምንታ?"

"በ አልዛይመር"

"ምን አለ በ አልዛይመር?"

"እንካ ሰላምታ?"

@deepthoughts2

Basket player dies*
People who didn't even know him: he was like my father.

#Myhabesha
@deepthoughts2

Girls: Cat is better
Boys: Dog is better

Chinese: food is food

@deepthoughts2

"Hate is heavy, let it go."

@deepthoughts2

My Bae is so handsome😋, looking invisible and shit

@deepthoughts2

Being nice to the people you don't like isn't called two-faced, it's called growing up

@deepthoughts2

What has 4 letters, sometimes 9 letters, but never has 5 letters.

@deepthoughts2

I’m selling my dead batteries.

They’re free of charge if you’re interested.

@deepthoughts2

Most people who use wikipedia have never seen its front-page.

@deepthoughts2

If the relieved feeling of emptying your bladder/intestines would last 6 hours, nobody would have any interest in drugs.

@deepthoughts2

"ቻይና እቃ ላስጭን ሄጄ..." የሚል ጅንጀና ላልተወሰነ ጊዜ ሊቀር ነው ማለት ነው።

@deepthoughts2