How to free up time?
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β«οΈ Planning.
A necessary thing to allocate your time as efficiently and proportionately as possible.
β«οΈ Priorities.
So, once you've written down all the things to do, you need to determine their level of importance. Consistency of priorities will play an important role in getting the job done efficiently.
β«οΈ Workplace.
Thatβs definitely something worth paying attention to! Who would want to study in a mess?
β«οΈ Frog for breakfast.
Sounds interesting, huh? In other words, make a habit of taking on the hard work right away first, not putting it off for later.
β
β«οΈ Planning.
A necessary thing to allocate your time as efficiently and proportionately as possible.
β«οΈ Priorities.
So, once you've written down all the things to do, you need to determine their level of importance. Consistency of priorities will play an important role in getting the job done efficiently.
β«οΈ Workplace.
Thatβs definitely something worth paying attention to! Who would want to study in a mess?
β«οΈ Frog for breakfast.
Sounds interesting, huh? In other words, make a habit of taking on the hard work right away first, not putting it off for later.
About the value and devaluation of life experiences
When people break up by rejecting, devaluing and demeaning each other, they are perhaps a little less hurt, since it is easier to part with something not really valuable or generally harmful. But, as part of a life strategy, devaluing is a waste of a resource. When we reject a person and the value of a relationship with that person, we reject the life experience gained in that relationship. And so life's time is wasted.
How often do you hear: "I wasted so much time on that fool" or "I gave it my allβ.
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After all, what are we left with after the breakups that inevitably happen in life?
What we are left with is life experience and the ability to apply it.
When people break up by rejecting, devaluing and demeaning each other, they are perhaps a little less hurt, since it is easier to part with something not really valuable or generally harmful. But, as part of a life strategy, devaluing is a waste of a resource. When we reject a person and the value of a relationship with that person, we reject the life experience gained in that relationship. And so life's time is wasted.
How often do you hear: "I wasted so much time on that fool" or "I gave it my allβ.
β
After all, what are we left with after the breakups that inevitably happen in life?
What we are left with is life experience and the ability to apply it.
Second date: 3 mistakes to avoid
1. Excessive expectations
Hold off on the expectations. Let things go as they go.
2. Talking only about yourself
Ask. No more telling your business or your worries all the time. Genuine interest in the other person can do wonders!
3. Ignoring your own feelings
Listen to yourself. If you feel really great, agree to the next meeting. If not, leave it alone.
If you keep these recommendations in mind, then the second date will certainly pass with flying colors.
1. Excessive expectations
Hold off on the expectations. Let things go as they go.
2. Talking only about yourself
Ask. No more telling your business or your worries all the time. Genuine interest in the other person can do wonders!
3. Ignoring your own feelings
Listen to yourself. If you feel really great, agree to the next meeting. If not, leave it alone.
If you keep these recommendations in mind, then the second date will certainly pass with flying colors.
Choosing a therapist: him or her
Who is better to address - a man or a woman? The opinion of experts in the general case boils down to the following: no matter. Do what you think is right. Only the professionalism of the specialist plays a role in the therapy.
Find out about the therapist's qualifications and specialization: where he studied, what methods he prefers, what kind of problems he works with, what kind of feedback you get from those following his therapy.
If questions about the therapist's field arise, it's helpful to answer a few questions:
1. How do I feel at the thought of seeing a therapist of that gender?
2. What exactly is frightening?
3. Why do I need a therapist of that gender?
Who is better to address - a man or a woman? The opinion of experts in the general case boils down to the following: no matter. Do what you think is right. Only the professionalism of the specialist plays a role in the therapy.
Find out about the therapist's qualifications and specialization: where he studied, what methods he prefers, what kind of problems he works with, what kind of feedback you get from those following his therapy.
If questions about the therapist's field arise, it's helpful to answer a few questions:
1. How do I feel at the thought of seeing a therapist of that gender?
2. What exactly is frightening?
3. Why do I need a therapist of that gender?
How to identify a verbal aggressor
Lots of people hardly realize how serious the consequences of psychological violence are, but it is no less dangerous than physical aggression.
1. The Mood Killer
Moral sadists can't stand it when someone is feeling good, and so they will look for convenient excuses to ruin your mood, each time enjoying bringing you to tears.
2. Unconditional Justice
Verbal aggressors never apologize: they are sure they are right by default.
3. Infringement of Interests
They often ridicule other people's hobbies and interests, making people ashamed or even embarrassed of their favorite activities.
4. Impairment
Aggressors devalue the work of others and speak with contempt of any achievements, causing us to give up and think that our efforts do not need anyone.
5. Disguised lowliness
Verbal terror often takes place behind closed doors so that no one can interfere. The victim is quietly harassed at school, work, or home and gradually driven to the point of extreme despair.
Lots of people hardly realize how serious the consequences of psychological violence are, but it is no less dangerous than physical aggression.
1. The Mood Killer
Moral sadists can't stand it when someone is feeling good, and so they will look for convenient excuses to ruin your mood, each time enjoying bringing you to tears.
2. Unconditional Justice
Verbal aggressors never apologize: they are sure they are right by default.
3. Infringement of Interests
They often ridicule other people's hobbies and interests, making people ashamed or even embarrassed of their favorite activities.
4. Impairment
Aggressors devalue the work of others and speak with contempt of any achievements, causing us to give up and think that our efforts do not need anyone.
5. Disguised lowliness
Verbal terror often takes place behind closed doors so that no one can interfere. The victim is quietly harassed at school, work, or home and gradually driven to the point of extreme despair.
Two rules to change your love life
Let's talk about the things your relationship is doomed to fail without.
Screw advice on how to fuck a chick or get married. There are only two rules in sex life that really work. They fit both men and women.
Simple means good. Hard means bad.
No need to prove anything in a relationship. You don't have to woo or chase anyone. Do it once, you will do it every day, and all you will see in response is a dissatisfied face. If things are not working out right away, do not pull the cat by the tail.
Relationships should bring joy.
If the relationship ceased to bring joy and began to bring disgust - end it at the root. Never get used to the showdown and tears. This is not normal!
After all, many people have been chewing the chewed-up hay of their resentments for years! They occupy their brains with unnecessary squabbles - don't do that!
These rules are necessary to build a long and stable relationship.
Let's talk about the things your relationship is doomed to fail without.
Screw advice on how to fuck a chick or get married. There are only two rules in sex life that really work. They fit both men and women.
Simple means good. Hard means bad.
No need to prove anything in a relationship. You don't have to woo or chase anyone. Do it once, you will do it every day, and all you will see in response is a dissatisfied face. If things are not working out right away, do not pull the cat by the tail.
Relationships should bring joy.
If the relationship ceased to bring joy and began to bring disgust - end it at the root. Never get used to the showdown and tears. This is not normal!
After all, many people have been chewing the chewed-up hay of their resentments for years! They occupy their brains with unnecessary squabbles - don't do that!
These rules are necessary to build a long and stable relationship.
Hazard of Pessimism
The pessimist sees no success in the actions, the world around him gives him no reason to be happy. Such an attitude to the world reduces the quality of life and might contribute to the development of depression.
An interesting fact:
With their attitude to life, pessimists inhibit the production of endorphins, which directly reduces well-being and weakens the immune system. Simply put, they kill themselves.
But you shouldn't confuse a pessimist with a realist - this is a completely DIFFERENT view of life.
A realist is a person who is neutral to everything going on around himππ»
He doesn't let his emotions or desires affect the situation.
Like that famous example about the glass being half-full, you know. The pessimist thinks it's half empty, while the realist sees it as half full.
So, the realist will just drink water from this glass to quench his thirstπ
The pessimist sees no success in the actions, the world around him gives him no reason to be happy. Such an attitude to the world reduces the quality of life and might contribute to the development of depression.
An interesting fact:
With their attitude to life, pessimists inhibit the production of endorphins, which directly reduces well-being and weakens the immune system. Simply put, they kill themselves.
But you shouldn't confuse a pessimist with a realist - this is a completely DIFFERENT view of life.
A realist is a person who is neutral to everything going on around himππ»
He doesn't let his emotions or desires affect the situation.
Like that famous example about the glass being half-full, you know. The pessimist thinks it's half empty, while the realist sees it as half full.
So, the realist will just drink water from this glass to quench his thirstπ
Manipulator Phrases to Drive Anyone Crazy
I've brought together 3 phrases for you that manipulators use to undermine your independence.
π "You exaggerate everything."
A manipulator will purposely make you feel like a PARANOIC. For example, flirt with your ex(s) in front of everyone, and then say you were imagining things.
π "I hate drama."
The manipulator arranges PROVOCATIONS and when you react, blame you. That you are setting up the drama they hate so much. Cultivates feelings of guilt.
π "You got me wrong."
Misunderstandings occur in any couple. But manipulators set up provocations that you respond to, they turn everything upside down so they can blame you.
(Yeah, it's very much like a simple trick.)
π‘ The only way to get out of such a relationship is to stop all contact. No texts, calls, or friendships on social media.
I've brought together 3 phrases for you that manipulators use to undermine your independence.
π "You exaggerate everything."
A manipulator will purposely make you feel like a PARANOIC. For example, flirt with your ex(s) in front of everyone, and then say you were imagining things.
π "I hate drama."
The manipulator arranges PROVOCATIONS and when you react, blame you. That you are setting up the drama they hate so much. Cultivates feelings of guilt.
π "You got me wrong."
Misunderstandings occur in any couple. But manipulators set up provocations that you respond to, they turn everything upside down so they can blame you.
(Yeah, it's very much like a simple trick.)
π‘ The only way to get out of such a relationship is to stop all contact. No texts, calls, or friendships on social media.
GETTING OUT OF A CO-DEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP
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A person, who has stopped playing co-dependent games and raping himself, who has left the pathological system in one way or another, is often seen from inside the system as a traitor who has failed, abandoned, left alone, chosen the easy life.
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And no one is saying he is right. But typically, a member of the system has no other way of showing the pathology of whatβs going on than betrayal, serving as healing power.
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A person, who has stopped playing co-dependent games and raping himself, who has left the pathological system in one way or another, is often seen from inside the system as a traitor who has failed, abandoned, left alone, chosen the easy life.
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And no one is saying he is right. But typically, a member of the system has no other way of showing the pathology of whatβs going on than betrayal, serving as healing power.
THE LIAR DECEIVES HIMSELF FIRST
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The person who deceives you, accidentally or consciously, is always, on some level, fooling himself. Since it is impossible, without delusions, to dare this autonomic dissonance that occurs in the body while lying. And to dare the dissonance in the human being, when words do not coincide with thoughts, and thoughts with feelings.
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When people in conflict are perfectly confident about something you disagree with, or something that goes against common sense, agreements, or obvious facts, you can argue with them long and hard. Prove them wrong. Defend that two times two is four. But you can stop these futile attempts when you realize they are not cheating on you, they are fooling themselves.
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The person who deceives you, accidentally or consciously, is always, on some level, fooling himself. Since it is impossible, without delusions, to dare this autonomic dissonance that occurs in the body while lying. And to dare the dissonance in the human being, when words do not coincide with thoughts, and thoughts with feelings.
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When people in conflict are perfectly confident about something you disagree with, or something that goes against common sense, agreements, or obvious facts, you can argue with them long and hard. Prove them wrong. Defend that two times two is four. But you can stop these futile attempts when you realize they are not cheating on you, they are fooling themselves.
Accepting oneself in success is not difficult. Accepting oneself in defeat is something everyone learns sooner or later.
Accepting oneself in strong feelings is something that any book or even the most superficial psychological training will teach you.
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But do you know how to accept yourself as inactive, as nothing, as standing at ground zero? Incomprehensible to yourself and others? To stop and not follow the fashionable trends of rocking yourself? Give yourself time to duck or digest what's going on? How easy is that for you? Or do you spend all your energy to avoid facing your inactive self?
Accepting oneself in strong feelings is something that any book or even the most superficial psychological training will teach you.
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But do you know how to accept yourself as inactive, as nothing, as standing at ground zero? Incomprehensible to yourself and others? To stop and not follow the fashionable trends of rocking yourself? Give yourself time to duck or digest what's going on? How easy is that for you? Or do you spend all your energy to avoid facing your inactive self?
Why did you break up?
If you delve into your breakups, you can easily discover that the root cause of each one was unfulfilled expectations on your part and on the part of the other.
You were counting on one behavior and attitude, but in reality you received something different from him, and it doesn't matter in what areas - whether it's sex, the level of attention, common interests, children or money.
And what you received ended up not coinciding with your ideas of how things should be, how you would like them to be. Neither did the other to you.
If you delve into your breakups, you can easily discover that the root cause of each one was unfulfilled expectations on your part and on the part of the other.
You were counting on one behavior and attitude, but in reality you received something different from him, and it doesn't matter in what areas - whether it's sex, the level of attention, common interests, children or money.
And what you received ended up not coinciding with your ideas of how things should be, how you would like them to be. Neither did the other to you.
What don't lots of people realize?
That only rabbits breed quickly, but lasting results in life require discipline and regularity.
You don't start making millions in a snap if you don't change your mindset, and that takes resolve and time. You won't start speaking a foreign language by taking one class. You don't get rid of psychological problems by going to counseling a couple or three times.
So - what is "fast" actually? Fast is slow but steady. And the "I want it all at once" mentality is a dead end.
That only rabbits breed quickly, but lasting results in life require discipline and regularity.
You don't start making millions in a snap if you don't change your mindset, and that takes resolve and time. You won't start speaking a foreign language by taking one class. You don't get rid of psychological problems by going to counseling a couple or three times.
So - what is "fast" actually? Fast is slow but steady. And the "I want it all at once" mentality is a dead end.
Some people, no matter how much they want to change, persistently do NOTHING for years to change anything in their lives.
Like, years of living in a city they don't want to live in, even though they know which one they'd like to live in. Years of going to the same job, which has long been boring, even though they know what they really want to do, but do NOTHING to change their activities. Years of being in a relationship that is long overdue to end.
Because, the very format of their thinking is a dead end. And it boils down to the fact that "we have to wait more", "now is not the time", "there is no possibility", "there is no time", "there is no money".
All of these are just illusory limitations, psychological screens behind which lurks the fear that it won't work, that it will be worse than it is now if I take a chance and try. To live this way is to miss out on your life.
Like, years of living in a city they don't want to live in, even though they know which one they'd like to live in. Years of going to the same job, which has long been boring, even though they know what they really want to do, but do NOTHING to change their activities. Years of being in a relationship that is long overdue to end.
Because, the very format of their thinking is a dead end. And it boils down to the fact that "we have to wait more", "now is not the time", "there is no possibility", "there is no time", "there is no money".
All of these are just illusory limitations, psychological screens behind which lurks the fear that it won't work, that it will be worse than it is now if I take a chance and try. To live this way is to miss out on your life.
How to become happy?
When you ask yourself "How to make money?", "How to meet love?", "How to find your man?", "How to build a great relationship?", "How to find yourself and your business?", etc. - you're asking these questions at the level of the person you are now, and that's what created the problems you're trying to solve based on your current firmware.
That's not how it works.
The question is not how to make money, move, create a relationship, or get out of one. The question is what you need to change in your firmware: in your condition, your thinking and your behavior, to become the person who can find the answers to your questions, and most importantly, to take the right actions to bring what you want into reality.
When you ask yourself "How to make money?", "How to meet love?", "How to find your man?", "How to build a great relationship?", "How to find yourself and your business?", etc. - you're asking these questions at the level of the person you are now, and that's what created the problems you're trying to solve based on your current firmware.
That's not how it works.
The question is not how to make money, move, create a relationship, or get out of one. The question is what you need to change in your firmware: in your condition, your thinking and your behavior, to become the person who can find the answers to your questions, and most importantly, to take the right actions to bring what you want into reality.
Passion is an expiration date
When people say, "we've been together 10, 20, 30 years, and the passion is like the first time" - it's a lie and self-deception. The shelf life of any passion in a permanent classic relationship is 3-4 years.
After that, it may ripple, subside for a few more years, but eventually come to naught. And this is legitimate.
Therefore, the classic, classic relationship only on passion will last a few years, and then it will fall apart if there are no other points of unity between people.
Another point: how passion can be for the first time, when people, after being together for 3-4 years and breaking up, get together again. It can be this way. For a while, the passion between them will be at its peak again.
When people say, "we've been together 10, 20, 30 years, and the passion is like the first time" - it's a lie and self-deception. The shelf life of any passion in a permanent classic relationship is 3-4 years.
After that, it may ripple, subside for a few more years, but eventually come to naught. And this is legitimate.
Therefore, the classic, classic relationship only on passion will last a few years, and then it will fall apart if there are no other points of unity between people.
Another point: how passion can be for the first time, when people, after being together for 3-4 years and breaking up, get together again. It can be this way. For a while, the passion between them will be at its peak again.
Place of strength - not the traditional strength centers like Tibet or Peru.
A place of strength can be any place in any city or in nature. For me, it is the area in front of Notre Dame. The other day, when I was in Sochi, I discovered another one - the Red Glade.
In a place of strength, it's easiest to enter a state of total awareness that your reality will become what you've conceived it to be. This state is the main goal of all practices of working with the field. The deeper and longer it is, the more likely and faster your reality will be transformed.
A place of strength can be any place in any city or in nature. For me, it is the area in front of Notre Dame. The other day, when I was in Sochi, I discovered another one - the Red Glade.
In a place of strength, it's easiest to enter a state of total awareness that your reality will become what you've conceived it to be. This state is the main goal of all practices of working with the field. The deeper and longer it is, the more likely and faster your reality will be transformed.
How to trust after cheating?
If you are in a classic monogamous relationship and you were cheated on, the question "How to trust a man again?" is irrelevant. The answer is no way.
You will no longer regain the ability to trust this person the way you trusted before. And you have two options: either to be in a relationship with him on and just take your mistrust as a given and inevitable, or break up. Well, living with staying in the relationship, agonizing and tormenting yourself with the question, "How to trust?" - is not an option. It's just neurotic self-mockery and nothing more.
If you are in a classic monogamous relationship and you were cheated on, the question "How to trust a man again?" is irrelevant. The answer is no way.
You will no longer regain the ability to trust this person the way you trusted before. And you have two options: either to be in a relationship with him on and just take your mistrust as a given and inevitable, or break up. Well, living with staying in the relationship, agonizing and tormenting yourself with the question, "How to trust?" - is not an option. It's just neurotic self-mockery and nothing more.
You shouldn't care
... if you go your own way and strive for freedom.
It's hard to achieve because you've been conditioned from childhood to conform to someone else's idea of the norm. But it is possible-if you have the guts to go through the breaking of the firmware, distinguish your goals from those imposed, and not just go your own way, but keep going despite difficulties, setbacks, and pressure from outside.
"Doesn't care" means not turning into a moron who doesn't give a damn about anyone or anything. Never confuse with boorishness, stupidity, badassery, and marginality. No one has abolished and does not abolish diplomacy and the skill of negotiating with other people. "No matter" means to act according to yourself, your own interests, and the laws of the universe, even if everyone around you claims you are wrong.
... if you go your own way and strive for freedom.
It's hard to achieve because you've been conditioned from childhood to conform to someone else's idea of the norm. But it is possible-if you have the guts to go through the breaking of the firmware, distinguish your goals from those imposed, and not just go your own way, but keep going despite difficulties, setbacks, and pressure from outside.
"Doesn't care" means not turning into a moron who doesn't give a damn about anyone or anything. Never confuse with boorishness, stupidity, badassery, and marginality. No one has abolished and does not abolish diplomacy and the skill of negotiating with other people. "No matter" means to act according to yourself, your own interests, and the laws of the universe, even if everyone around you claims you are wrong.
How do you know whether you are in love or not?
Quite simple: when you love, you love everyone, all living things in principle, you love life itself, flowing through you.
There's not even the slightest attachment to a particular person in you, you leave everyone completely free to live and manifest as they want - because you're free yourself. You're not even ready to let anyone go at any moment, because you're not holding on to anyone or clinging to anyone at all.
Quite simple: when you love, you love everyone, all living things in principle, you love life itself, flowing through you.
There's not even the slightest attachment to a particular person in you, you leave everyone completely free to live and manifest as they want - because you're free yourself. You're not even ready to let anyone go at any moment, because you're not holding on to anyone or clinging to anyone at all.
Transformation is not a goal or an outcome. It is a process. It is a way of being.
To change constantly is to reflect the essence of life: its fluidity. To change is to be alive and free.
Go into your fears, and you will stop being afraid of life. Know how to let people go, and you will be loved. Know deeply that everything you do is right, and you will no longer need anyone's faith in you - you will succeed.
There is no success and there is no failure. There is no success and no failure. There is life - and you are part of it.
To change constantly is to reflect the essence of life: its fluidity. To change is to be alive and free.
Go into your fears, and you will stop being afraid of life. Know how to let people go, and you will be loved. Know deeply that everything you do is right, and you will no longer need anyone's faith in you - you will succeed.
There is no success and there is no failure. There is no success and no failure. There is life - and you are part of it.