Few healthy habits for a quality life
✔️Try not eating at night and falling asleep with an empty stomach, and within 1-2 weeks you’ll have light light dreams and wake up every morning in a good mood with inspiration to do something.
✔️Try not drinking lemonades and any carbonated drinks bought at the store, and you’ll see how delicious plain water tastes.
✔️Try taking an apple/mandarin/orange/banana or drinking a glass of water every time you want to take a cigarette, and in 2 weeks you’ll feel twice as strong, sturdier and stronger.
✔️ Try turning off the TV and computer an hour or two before bedtime, and you'll start to see your desires and creative impulses.
✔️Try not eating at night and falling asleep with an empty stomach, and within 1-2 weeks you’ll have light light dreams and wake up every morning in a good mood with inspiration to do something.
✔️Try not drinking lemonades and any carbonated drinks bought at the store, and you’ll see how delicious plain water tastes.
✔️Try taking an apple/mandarin/orange/banana or drinking a glass of water every time you want to take a cigarette, and in 2 weeks you’ll feel twice as strong, sturdier and stronger.
✔️ Try turning off the TV and computer an hour or two before bedtime, and you'll start to see your desires and creative impulses.
Desire to control everyone and everything all the time
This wish can be dictated by perfectionism, egocentrism, lack of trust and a variety of other reasons.
But all these consequences have a common cause - a violation of attachment in childhood: at some point the child ceased to feel secure around his parents. He stopped trusting this world and feeling relaxed.
Growing up, such children rely only on themselves. It would seem that this is absolutely "great".
But there is a flip side of the coin: even when they need help, they do not ask for it, being afraid to admit to themselves some weakness. Such adults live in a state of constant tension and expect some kind of trick from the world.
This wish can be dictated by perfectionism, egocentrism, lack of trust and a variety of other reasons.
But all these consequences have a common cause - a violation of attachment in childhood: at some point the child ceased to feel secure around his parents. He stopped trusting this world and feeling relaxed.
Growing up, such children rely only on themselves. It would seem that this is absolutely "great".
But there is a flip side of the coin: even when they need help, they do not ask for it, being afraid to admit to themselves some weakness. Such adults live in a state of constant tension and expect some kind of trick from the world.
THE BASIC WOES OF OUR TIME
The major evils of our time stem not from our moral depravity but, on the contrary, from our often misguided moral enthusiasm - our desire to build a better world. Our wars are essentially religious ones. They are wars between proponents of competing theories about how to build a better world.
Our moral enthusiasm is often misguided, for we fail to recognize that our oversimplified moral principles are often hard to adapt to the complex political situations we are applying them to.
The major evils of our time stem not from our moral depravity but, on the contrary, from our often misguided moral enthusiasm - our desire to build a better world. Our wars are essentially religious ones. They are wars between proponents of competing theories about how to build a better world.
Our moral enthusiasm is often misguided, for we fail to recognize that our oversimplified moral principles are often hard to adapt to the complex political situations we are applying them to.
Perception of praise
All things truly marvelous are complete and perfect on their own, with no praise in them: they are neither made worse nor better by praise.
This also holds true for what is commonly called beautiful, be it the creatures of nature or art, for the truly magnificent needs what? No more than law, no more than truth, no more than devotion and modesty. Of this, which will adorn praise, which will spoil scolding? Is the emerald become worse when it is not praised?
All things truly marvelous are complete and perfect on their own, with no praise in them: they are neither made worse nor better by praise.
This also holds true for what is commonly called beautiful, be it the creatures of nature or art, for the truly magnificent needs what? No more than law, no more than truth, no more than devotion and modesty. Of this, which will adorn praise, which will spoil scolding? Is the emerald become worse when it is not praised?
Freedom or Discipline
What to choose: doing things by mood or by schedule❓
The truth is one. Discipline is your conscious freedom.
Some people like to keep plans and strive to be productive every day. But many get lost in the wrong approach as they don't master time management and don't know what they ultimately want and where their path will lead them. Constant workloads and excessive self-demanding lead to worse results.
Other people make the mistake of thinking that the decisions they make in the moment depending on "want" and "can" will lead to anything at all. They live out the illusion of their work, even though the work itself is done incorrectly and disorganized.
Finding balance is about finding yourself and your purpose, which are in unified harmony, under your own self.
What to choose: doing things by mood or by schedule❓
The truth is one. Discipline is your conscious freedom.
Some people like to keep plans and strive to be productive every day. But many get lost in the wrong approach as they don't master time management and don't know what they ultimately want and where their path will lead them. Constant workloads and excessive self-demanding lead to worse results.
Other people make the mistake of thinking that the decisions they make in the moment depending on "want" and "can" will lead to anything at all. They live out the illusion of their work, even though the work itself is done incorrectly and disorganized.
Finding balance is about finding yourself and your purpose, which are in unified harmony, under your own self.
What does a person prone to co-dependency look like?
In fact, such a person is quite easy to recognize.
A co-dependent person in a relationship will try:
▫️Make his partner happy even if it violates his principles.
▫️Ignore own desires, thoughts and needs, for the sake of the other.
▫️Adjusts to the mood of another.
▫️Avoids conflict emphatically.
▫️The typical response of a co-dependent to the question, "What do you want to do today?" Sounds something like, "I don't care, what do you want to"?
Recognize yourself? No? Then I'm glad for you.
And if you're ready to accept the presence of a couple or three points in yourself, you should think about it and start working on your mistakes.
In fact, such a person is quite easy to recognize.
A co-dependent person in a relationship will try:
▫️Make his partner happy even if it violates his principles.
▫️Ignore own desires, thoughts and needs, for the sake of the other.
▫️Adjusts to the mood of another.
▫️Avoids conflict emphatically.
▫️The typical response of a co-dependent to the question, "What do you want to do today?" Sounds something like, "I don't care, what do you want to"?
Recognize yourself? No? Then I'm glad for you.
And if you're ready to accept the presence of a couple or three points in yourself, you should think about it and start working on your mistakes.
How to learn to say "no"?
A person who finds it hard to refuse others is a really handy person.
You can dump a lot of work on him, he won't say no to loved ones, always come to the rescue, give help, lend money.
What to do?
Start with a small, very first "no"!
And then, it's worth continuing, asserting this skill👇🏻
▫️ Give yourself permission not to be "all good." Give yourself permission to act in your own best interest.
▫️ Practice saying "no" to strangers - store clerks, waiters, neighbors.
▫️ Choose a form of rejection that is acceptable to you. Sharp, soft, humorous or serious - there are many options.
▫️ Fear of rejection is the fear of being judged. Judged, so what? It's just the opinion of others...
Sure, there will be people who won't accept you with your "no," even those close to you won't like it. But those who care about you, who want to be there for you, who respect you, will always be around.
A person who finds it hard to refuse others is a really handy person.
You can dump a lot of work on him, he won't say no to loved ones, always come to the rescue, give help, lend money.
What to do?
Start with a small, very first "no"!
And then, it's worth continuing, asserting this skill👇🏻
▫️ Give yourself permission not to be "all good." Give yourself permission to act in your own best interest.
▫️ Practice saying "no" to strangers - store clerks, waiters, neighbors.
▫️ Choose a form of rejection that is acceptable to you. Sharp, soft, humorous or serious - there are many options.
▫️ Fear of rejection is the fear of being judged. Judged, so what? It's just the opinion of others...
Sure, there will be people who won't accept you with your "no," even those close to you won't like it. But those who care about you, who want to be there for you, who respect you, will always be around.
How to behave on a first date?
In order for the first date not to be the last, you need to understand a few simple rules👇🏻
▫️ Stay confident.
It's okay to be nervous on a first date. Acting confident, being yourself is the surest way to look natural.
▫️ Dress appropriately.
Usually on a first date a man looks at a woman from head to toe, and she tries to impress him.
▫️ Take care when choosing a fragrance.
Without knowing your date's preferences, choose unobtrusive light scents for yourself
▫️ Don't be a drag.
Don't burden him with your problems and don't complain. ▫️ Be easy and have fun conversations about simple everyday topics.
▫️ Take off the rose-tinted glasses.
Do not embellish the image of a man, do not praise him, do not make long-range plans for him.
If the date was interesting for you, don't forget to thank for an enjoyable time.
In order for the first date not to be the last, you need to understand a few simple rules👇🏻
▫️ Stay confident.
It's okay to be nervous on a first date. Acting confident, being yourself is the surest way to look natural.
▫️ Dress appropriately.
Usually on a first date a man looks at a woman from head to toe, and she tries to impress him.
▫️ Take care when choosing a fragrance.
Without knowing your date's preferences, choose unobtrusive light scents for yourself
▫️ Don't be a drag.
Don't burden him with your problems and don't complain. ▫️ Be easy and have fun conversations about simple everyday topics.
▫️ Take off the rose-tinted glasses.
Do not embellish the image of a man, do not praise him, do not make long-range plans for him.
If the date was interesting for you, don't forget to thank for an enjoyable time.
Motivation for action
Imagine the end result of the goal, task, idea. Write it down.
If necessary, find additional information about your goal/objective/idea, write down its implementation points.
Write down a specific end goal with an "if-then" condition. For example, if you love to read books, but a lot of time wasted, set yourself the condition to read 100 pages a day for 14 days (if), than you can buy a new thing, which has long dreamed of.
In the case where you are overcome by laziness, and you can not bring yourself to act, imagine what would happen if you do not complete the task. For example, if you do not wake up at 6 a.m., then you will long nag yourself for your weak will.
Imagine the end result of the goal, task, idea. Write it down.
If necessary, find additional information about your goal/objective/idea, write down its implementation points.
Write down a specific end goal with an "if-then" condition. For example, if you love to read books, but a lot of time wasted, set yourself the condition to read 100 pages a day for 14 days (if), than you can buy a new thing, which has long dreamed of.
In the case where you are overcome by laziness, and you can not bring yourself to act, imagine what would happen if you do not complete the task. For example, if you do not wake up at 6 a.m., then you will long nag yourself for your weak will.
How to free up time?
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▫️ Planning.
A necessary thing to allocate your time as efficiently and proportionately as possible.
▫️ Priorities.
So, once you've written down all the things to do, you need to determine their level of importance. Consistency of priorities will play an important role in getting the job done efficiently.
▫️ Workplace.
That’s definitely something worth paying attention to! Who would want to study in a mess?
▫️ Frog for breakfast.
Sounds interesting, huh? In other words, make a habit of taking on the hard work right away first, not putting it off for later.
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▫️ Planning.
A necessary thing to allocate your time as efficiently and proportionately as possible.
▫️ Priorities.
So, once you've written down all the things to do, you need to determine their level of importance. Consistency of priorities will play an important role in getting the job done efficiently.
▫️ Workplace.
That’s definitely something worth paying attention to! Who would want to study in a mess?
▫️ Frog for breakfast.
Sounds interesting, huh? In other words, make a habit of taking on the hard work right away first, not putting it off for later.
About the value and devaluation of life experiences
When people break up by rejecting, devaluing and demeaning each other, they are perhaps a little less hurt, since it is easier to part with something not really valuable or generally harmful. But, as part of a life strategy, devaluing is a waste of a resource. When we reject a person and the value of a relationship with that person, we reject the life experience gained in that relationship. And so life's time is wasted.
How often do you hear: "I wasted so much time on that fool" or "I gave it my all”.
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After all, what are we left with after the breakups that inevitably happen in life?
What we are left with is life experience and the ability to apply it.
When people break up by rejecting, devaluing and demeaning each other, they are perhaps a little less hurt, since it is easier to part with something not really valuable or generally harmful. But, as part of a life strategy, devaluing is a waste of a resource. When we reject a person and the value of a relationship with that person, we reject the life experience gained in that relationship. And so life's time is wasted.
How often do you hear: "I wasted so much time on that fool" or "I gave it my all”.
⠀
After all, what are we left with after the breakups that inevitably happen in life?
What we are left with is life experience and the ability to apply it.
Second date: 3 mistakes to avoid
1. Excessive expectations
Hold off on the expectations. Let things go as they go.
2. Talking only about yourself
Ask. No more telling your business or your worries all the time. Genuine interest in the other person can do wonders!
3. Ignoring your own feelings
Listen to yourself. If you feel really great, agree to the next meeting. If not, leave it alone.
If you keep these recommendations in mind, then the second date will certainly pass with flying colors.
1. Excessive expectations
Hold off on the expectations. Let things go as they go.
2. Talking only about yourself
Ask. No more telling your business or your worries all the time. Genuine interest in the other person can do wonders!
3. Ignoring your own feelings
Listen to yourself. If you feel really great, agree to the next meeting. If not, leave it alone.
If you keep these recommendations in mind, then the second date will certainly pass with flying colors.
Choosing a therapist: him or her
Who is better to address - a man or a woman? The opinion of experts in the general case boils down to the following: no matter. Do what you think is right. Only the professionalism of the specialist plays a role in the therapy.
Find out about the therapist's qualifications and specialization: where he studied, what methods he prefers, what kind of problems he works with, what kind of feedback you get from those following his therapy.
If questions about the therapist's field arise, it's helpful to answer a few questions:
1. How do I feel at the thought of seeing a therapist of that gender?
2. What exactly is frightening?
3. Why do I need a therapist of that gender?
Who is better to address - a man or a woman? The opinion of experts in the general case boils down to the following: no matter. Do what you think is right. Only the professionalism of the specialist plays a role in the therapy.
Find out about the therapist's qualifications and specialization: where he studied, what methods he prefers, what kind of problems he works with, what kind of feedback you get from those following his therapy.
If questions about the therapist's field arise, it's helpful to answer a few questions:
1. How do I feel at the thought of seeing a therapist of that gender?
2. What exactly is frightening?
3. Why do I need a therapist of that gender?
How to identify a verbal aggressor
Lots of people hardly realize how serious the consequences of psychological violence are, but it is no less dangerous than physical aggression.
1. The Mood Killer
Moral sadists can't stand it when someone is feeling good, and so they will look for convenient excuses to ruin your mood, each time enjoying bringing you to tears.
2. Unconditional Justice
Verbal aggressors never apologize: they are sure they are right by default.
3. Infringement of Interests
They often ridicule other people's hobbies and interests, making people ashamed or even embarrassed of their favorite activities.
4. Impairment
Aggressors devalue the work of others and speak with contempt of any achievements, causing us to give up and think that our efforts do not need anyone.
5. Disguised lowliness
Verbal terror often takes place behind closed doors so that no one can interfere. The victim is quietly harassed at school, work, or home and gradually driven to the point of extreme despair.
Lots of people hardly realize how serious the consequences of psychological violence are, but it is no less dangerous than physical aggression.
1. The Mood Killer
Moral sadists can't stand it when someone is feeling good, and so they will look for convenient excuses to ruin your mood, each time enjoying bringing you to tears.
2. Unconditional Justice
Verbal aggressors never apologize: they are sure they are right by default.
3. Infringement of Interests
They often ridicule other people's hobbies and interests, making people ashamed or even embarrassed of their favorite activities.
4. Impairment
Aggressors devalue the work of others and speak with contempt of any achievements, causing us to give up and think that our efforts do not need anyone.
5. Disguised lowliness
Verbal terror often takes place behind closed doors so that no one can interfere. The victim is quietly harassed at school, work, or home and gradually driven to the point of extreme despair.
Two rules to change your love life
Let's talk about the things your relationship is doomed to fail without.
Screw advice on how to fuck a chick or get married. There are only two rules in sex life that really work. They fit both men and women.
Simple means good. Hard means bad.
No need to prove anything in a relationship. You don't have to woo or chase anyone. Do it once, you will do it every day, and all you will see in response is a dissatisfied face. If things are not working out right away, do not pull the cat by the tail.
Relationships should bring joy.
If the relationship ceased to bring joy and began to bring disgust - end it at the root. Never get used to the showdown and tears. This is not normal!
After all, many people have been chewing the chewed-up hay of their resentments for years! They occupy their brains with unnecessary squabbles - don't do that!
These rules are necessary to build a long and stable relationship.
Let's talk about the things your relationship is doomed to fail without.
Screw advice on how to fuck a chick or get married. There are only two rules in sex life that really work. They fit both men and women.
Simple means good. Hard means bad.
No need to prove anything in a relationship. You don't have to woo or chase anyone. Do it once, you will do it every day, and all you will see in response is a dissatisfied face. If things are not working out right away, do not pull the cat by the tail.
Relationships should bring joy.
If the relationship ceased to bring joy and began to bring disgust - end it at the root. Never get used to the showdown and tears. This is not normal!
After all, many people have been chewing the chewed-up hay of their resentments for years! They occupy their brains with unnecessary squabbles - don't do that!
These rules are necessary to build a long and stable relationship.
Hazard of Pessimism
The pessimist sees no success in the actions, the world around him gives him no reason to be happy. Such an attitude to the world reduces the quality of life and might contribute to the development of depression.
An interesting fact:
With their attitude to life, pessimists inhibit the production of endorphins, which directly reduces well-being and weakens the immune system. Simply put, they kill themselves.
But you shouldn't confuse a pessimist with a realist - this is a completely DIFFERENT view of life.
A realist is a person who is neutral to everything going on around him🙌🏻
He doesn't let his emotions or desires affect the situation.
Like that famous example about the glass being half-full, you know. The pessimist thinks it's half empty, while the realist sees it as half full.
So, the realist will just drink water from this glass to quench his thirst😁
The pessimist sees no success in the actions, the world around him gives him no reason to be happy. Such an attitude to the world reduces the quality of life and might contribute to the development of depression.
An interesting fact:
With their attitude to life, pessimists inhibit the production of endorphins, which directly reduces well-being and weakens the immune system. Simply put, they kill themselves.
But you shouldn't confuse a pessimist with a realist - this is a completely DIFFERENT view of life.
A realist is a person who is neutral to everything going on around him🙌🏻
He doesn't let his emotions or desires affect the situation.
Like that famous example about the glass being half-full, you know. The pessimist thinks it's half empty, while the realist sees it as half full.
So, the realist will just drink water from this glass to quench his thirst😁
Manipulator Phrases to Drive Anyone Crazy
I've brought together 3 phrases for you that manipulators use to undermine your independence.
💭 "You exaggerate everything."
A manipulator will purposely make you feel like a PARANOIC. For example, flirt with your ex(s) in front of everyone, and then say you were imagining things.
💭 "I hate drama."
The manipulator arranges PROVOCATIONS and when you react, blame you. That you are setting up the drama they hate so much. Cultivates feelings of guilt.
💭 "You got me wrong."
Misunderstandings occur in any couple. But manipulators set up provocations that you respond to, they turn everything upside down so they can blame you.
(Yeah, it's very much like a simple trick.)
💡 The only way to get out of such a relationship is to stop all contact. No texts, calls, or friendships on social media.
I've brought together 3 phrases for you that manipulators use to undermine your independence.
💭 "You exaggerate everything."
A manipulator will purposely make you feel like a PARANOIC. For example, flirt with your ex(s) in front of everyone, and then say you were imagining things.
💭 "I hate drama."
The manipulator arranges PROVOCATIONS and when you react, blame you. That you are setting up the drama they hate so much. Cultivates feelings of guilt.
💭 "You got me wrong."
Misunderstandings occur in any couple. But manipulators set up provocations that you respond to, they turn everything upside down so they can blame you.
(Yeah, it's very much like a simple trick.)
💡 The only way to get out of such a relationship is to stop all contact. No texts, calls, or friendships on social media.
GETTING OUT OF A CO-DEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP
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A person, who has stopped playing co-dependent games and raping himself, who has left the pathological system in one way or another, is often seen from inside the system as a traitor who has failed, abandoned, left alone, chosen the easy life.
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And no one is saying he is right. But typically, a member of the system has no other way of showing the pathology of what’s going on than betrayal, serving as healing power.
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A person, who has stopped playing co-dependent games and raping himself, who has left the pathological system in one way or another, is often seen from inside the system as a traitor who has failed, abandoned, left alone, chosen the easy life.
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And no one is saying he is right. But typically, a member of the system has no other way of showing the pathology of what’s going on than betrayal, serving as healing power.
THE LIAR DECEIVES HIMSELF FIRST
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The person who deceives you, accidentally or consciously, is always, on some level, fooling himself. Since it is impossible, without delusions, to dare this autonomic dissonance that occurs in the body while lying. And to dare the dissonance in the human being, when words do not coincide with thoughts, and thoughts with feelings.
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When people in conflict are perfectly confident about something you disagree with, or something that goes against common sense, agreements, or obvious facts, you can argue with them long and hard. Prove them wrong. Defend that two times two is four. But you can stop these futile attempts when you realize they are not cheating on you, they are fooling themselves.
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The person who deceives you, accidentally or consciously, is always, on some level, fooling himself. Since it is impossible, without delusions, to dare this autonomic dissonance that occurs in the body while lying. And to dare the dissonance in the human being, when words do not coincide with thoughts, and thoughts with feelings.
⠀
When people in conflict are perfectly confident about something you disagree with, or something that goes against common sense, agreements, or obvious facts, you can argue with them long and hard. Prove them wrong. Defend that two times two is four. But you can stop these futile attempts when you realize they are not cheating on you, they are fooling themselves.