Making mistakes is imperative
Only as a result of "failure" do we form new neural connections and move forward.
I immediately think of a child who makes mistakes hundreds of times before he takes his first steps.
What should we do so that we are not afraid of the fear of "what if we fail"?
First, try to re-experience the emotions that you experienced as a result of the mistake. Feelings of shame, guilt, despair - that's what I mean.
How was it? Nothing catastrophic happened? Of course not.
You move on with your life, and I'm sure you'll do well in what you're doing.
Only as a result of "failure" do we form new neural connections and move forward.
I immediately think of a child who makes mistakes hundreds of times before he takes his first steps.
What should we do so that we are not afraid of the fear of "what if we fail"?
First, try to re-experience the emotions that you experienced as a result of the mistake. Feelings of shame, guilt, despair - that's what I mean.
How was it? Nothing catastrophic happened? Of course not.
You move on with your life, and I'm sure you'll do well in what you're doing.
How to bring emotions back to normal?
In the past, when I experienced "emotional storms," I had an urgent urge to do something, to release all the tension. It was in this state that I did rash things.
In order to bring my emotions back to normal, I learned how to make a distraction.
During a scandal, in order to relieve my growing anger, I discreetly pinch myself painfully. My body automatically reduces the heat of the aggression and directs the energy to the painful point.
I also do a lot of breathing exercises. I sit down comfortably and relax as much as possible. I take a deep breath in through my nose and slowly exhale through my mouth.
Ten breaths are enough for me to relieve the peak of tension.
In the past, when I experienced "emotional storms," I had an urgent urge to do something, to release all the tension. It was in this state that I did rash things.
In order to bring my emotions back to normal, I learned how to make a distraction.
During a scandal, in order to relieve my growing anger, I discreetly pinch myself painfully. My body automatically reduces the heat of the aggression and directs the energy to the painful point.
I also do a lot of breathing exercises. I sit down comfortably and relax as much as possible. I take a deep breath in through my nose and slowly exhale through my mouth.
Ten breaths are enough for me to relieve the peak of tension.
How to connect with a stranger
Stop being a lonely branch of lilacs when there are millions of people you can and should connect with!
Learning how to make friends and connect with people is an important skill that needs to be developed!
And for that, start using opening phrases💬
You've already said hello to a person and exchanged handshakes with them. And then... total silence? Start a casual conversation to turn this stranger from a stranger into a friend.
✅ Look around and find something to make conversation about. Any phrase about what's going on around here will be a good introduction to casual conversation:
- "This is the new chairman of the PTA, isn't it?"
- "Best speech I've ever heard!"
- "And the title of the slowest elevator in the world goes to...ours!"
❗️ Notice that all statements are impersonal. That's the point: with topics like this, you can easily make a connection.
Stop being a lonely branch of lilacs when there are millions of people you can and should connect with!
Learning how to make friends and connect with people is an important skill that needs to be developed!
And for that, start using opening phrases💬
You've already said hello to a person and exchanged handshakes with them. And then... total silence? Start a casual conversation to turn this stranger from a stranger into a friend.
✅ Look around and find something to make conversation about. Any phrase about what's going on around here will be a good introduction to casual conversation:
- "This is the new chairman of the PTA, isn't it?"
- "Best speech I've ever heard!"
- "And the title of the slowest elevator in the world goes to...ours!"
❗️ Notice that all statements are impersonal. That's the point: with topics like this, you can easily make a connection.
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Anti-phrases in conflict
And here you have an angry opponent who, now and then, will start throwing lightning bolts or something more material and heavy. What to do?
The phrases "Don't be offended", "I have nothing against you personally", "Everything will be all right" seem to be encouraging, but in fact they devalue the feelings of the interlocutor, and this pushes your interlocutor to break off any communication with you.
It's better to say, "I see why you're hurt," or "That's probably the last thing you want to hear".
That way you'll quickly calm the person you're talking to and stay on good terms🏆
And here you have an angry opponent who, now and then, will start throwing lightning bolts or something more material and heavy. What to do?
The phrases "Don't be offended", "I have nothing against you personally", "Everything will be all right" seem to be encouraging, but in fact they devalue the feelings of the interlocutor, and this pushes your interlocutor to break off any communication with you.
It's better to say, "I see why you're hurt," or "That's probably the last thing you want to hear".
That way you'll quickly calm the person you're talking to and stay on good terms🏆
Testosterone and cognitive abilities
It's easy to improve your thinking processes - just watch your testosterone level👌
Scientists have proven: increased testosterone affects mental clarity and improved cognitive abilities. Also, low testosterone levels are guaranteed to impair memory
What to do.
1. Watch the quality of your sleep
2. Include in your diet the following foods: lean red meat, eggs, red fish and oysters, nuts, milk and dairy products, spinach and leafy greens.
By boosting your cognitive abilities, you'll think more clearly, thus all your decisions will be quick and correct, champion🏆
It's easy to improve your thinking processes - just watch your testosterone level👌
Scientists have proven: increased testosterone affects mental clarity and improved cognitive abilities. Also, low testosterone levels are guaranteed to impair memory
What to do.
1. Watch the quality of your sleep
2. Include in your diet the following foods: lean red meat, eggs, red fish and oysters, nuts, milk and dairy products, spinach and leafy greens.
By boosting your cognitive abilities, you'll think more clearly, thus all your decisions will be quick and correct, champion🏆
The most hazardous mistake
is waiting for someone's approval, my friend!
If you don't wish some manipulator pulling your strings, know your worth. That way you won't look pathetic in the eyes of others🏆
If your self-esteem is bouncing up and down from praise or lack thereof, you will NEVER reach the heights!
Learn to depend only on your own approval🏅
You are your own support! By refusing to depend on other people's praise, try to support yourself.
✅ Start writing down a list of your accomplishments throughout the day in a diary or on your phone. It doesn't matter how big they are, whether someone other than you noted them or not. Maybe you held up a door on the subway or patiently explained a topic to a colleague twice.
Train yourself to keep such a list, revisit it before you go to bed, and you'll take a big step toward independence and self approval.
You have your own opinion and it carries weight!
is waiting for someone's approval, my friend!
If you don't wish some manipulator pulling your strings, know your worth. That way you won't look pathetic in the eyes of others🏆
If your self-esteem is bouncing up and down from praise or lack thereof, you will NEVER reach the heights!
Learn to depend only on your own approval🏅
You are your own support! By refusing to depend on other people's praise, try to support yourself.
✅ Start writing down a list of your accomplishments throughout the day in a diary or on your phone. It doesn't matter how big they are, whether someone other than you noted them or not. Maybe you held up a door on the subway or patiently explained a topic to a colleague twice.
Train yourself to keep such a list, revisit it before you go to bed, and you'll take a big step toward independence and self approval.
You have your own opinion and it carries weight!
Make communication your weapon of choice
And no need to make a deal with the devil to please others, you just have to learn one little trick👌🏻
▪️The main mistake in dialogue is not to give your interlocutor a lead for further conversation! So if you want to blurt out a hottie or partner in a one-two punch, don't answer one-sentence!
Example:
She: Do you come here often?
Him: No.
So you've got your conversation partner looking for the opening phrase again to start the conversation. And this will last exactly as long as you both have patience.
I used to make that mistake a lot myself, but then I eliminated responses like "yes, no, uh-huh" and now the awkward pauses are gone!
💬Forget "yes" or "no," even if the question involves a one-word answer. Add a simple phrase to give your interlocutor food for thought, encouragement, and an incentive to keep the conversation going: "No, I don't think so"; "Yes, I saw it"; "Yes, thank you"; "No, I didn't park here."
And no need to make a deal with the devil to please others, you just have to learn one little trick👌🏻
▪️The main mistake in dialogue is not to give your interlocutor a lead for further conversation! So if you want to blurt out a hottie or partner in a one-two punch, don't answer one-sentence!
Example:
She: Do you come here often?
Him: No.
So you've got your conversation partner looking for the opening phrase again to start the conversation. And this will last exactly as long as you both have patience.
I used to make that mistake a lot myself, but then I eliminated responses like "yes, no, uh-huh" and now the awkward pauses are gone!
💬Forget "yes" or "no," even if the question involves a one-word answer. Add a simple phrase to give your interlocutor food for thought, encouragement, and an incentive to keep the conversation going: "No, I don't think so"; "Yes, I saw it"; "Yes, thank you"; "No, I didn't park here."
My common mistake
It often happens that some brilliant idea comes into your head, and if you don't write it down in time you will never come back to it in the future!
I always rely on my memory, which fails exactly when I try to remember the idea🚫
Don't repeat my mistakes: train yourself to write down such thoughts, it only takes you a minute💡
✅This will save you a lot of time and save you hours of breaking your head!
It often happens that some brilliant idea comes into your head, and if you don't write it down in time you will never come back to it in the future!
I always rely on my memory, which fails exactly when I try to remember the idea🚫
Don't repeat my mistakes: train yourself to write down such thoughts, it only takes you a minute💡
✅This will save you a lot of time and save you hours of breaking your head!
Beware of abundance of choices
As strange as it may sound, the wider the choice, the harder it is for the brain to make it and the less valid the result of the choice. 🧠
Moreover, if the choice is too wide, our brain, for some unknown reason, begins to see it as a threat and resists the need to choose.
👉🏻If you need to make a choice - any choice - try to keep the number of choices you choose between to no more than 3-4. In this case your brain will make the most adequate decision.
As strange as it may sound, the wider the choice, the harder it is for the brain to make it and the less valid the result of the choice. 🧠
Moreover, if the choice is too wide, our brain, for some unknown reason, begins to see it as a threat and resists the need to choose.
👉🏻If you need to make a choice - any choice - try to keep the number of choices you choose between to no more than 3-4. In this case your brain will make the most adequate decision.
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Sympathy comes with a handshake
Now let's talk about the first body contact with your interlocutor!
You probably know the general rules of a firm handshake: moderately strong, not too long, about 3 seconds.
And yet, it turns out that there's an additional factor!
🔎Scientists have found that people with warm hands evoke trust and sympathy in others!
Suggestions are that it goes back to our ancestors, who warmed themselves against each other, so the warmth of another's body and causes us pleasant feelings. But who knows:)
Now let's talk about the first body contact with your interlocutor!
You probably know the general rules of a firm handshake: moderately strong, not too long, about 3 seconds.
And yet, it turns out that there's an additional factor!
🔎Scientists have found that people with warm hands evoke trust and sympathy in others!
Suggestions are that it goes back to our ancestors, who warmed themselves against each other, so the warmth of another's body and causes us pleasant feelings. But who knows:)
Don't pass the buck.
If you intend to build a long-term relationship, learn how to resolve conflicts, and if you plan on being an executive, learn how to resolve conflicts, boy!
That's why I pay so much attention to this issue👌🏻
❌The phrase, "You know, I'm not comfy with the whole thing either."
✅Better find out if constructive dialogue is possible now: "Do you think we can find a solution now, or is it better to talk another time?"
Memorize, champ: minimum conflicts - maximum benefits💰
If you intend to build a long-term relationship, learn how to resolve conflicts, and if you plan on being an executive, learn how to resolve conflicts, boy!
That's why I pay so much attention to this issue👌🏻
❌The phrase, "You know, I'm not comfy with the whole thing either."
✅Better find out if constructive dialogue is possible now: "Do you think we can find a solution now, or is it better to talk another time?"
Memorize, champ: minimum conflicts - maximum benefits💰
Respect arises respect.
That’s how you raise your authority to the sky⚡️
Win the trust of those around you and make your opinion count!
Always remember the law of the boomerang
I won’t reveal anything supernatural to you: learn to act the way you would like your friends to treat you - forget about rudeness and disrespect, keep your word, be sincere and supportive in difficult situations.
To do this, reexamine your values and define a clear attitude toward everything that surrounds you!
Don't forget the importance of having a personal reasoned opinion👌🏻
That’s how you raise your authority to the sky⚡️
Win the trust of those around you and make your opinion count!
Always remember the law of the boomerang
I won’t reveal anything supernatural to you: learn to act the way you would like your friends to treat you - forget about rudeness and disrespect, keep your word, be sincere and supportive in difficult situations.
To do this, reexamine your values and define a clear attitude toward everything that surrounds you!
Don't forget the importance of having a personal reasoned opinion👌🏻
Her constant grudges.
Manipulation is pure, my friend, and you are a fish caught in that net!
✅Your job is to disarm and show her as soon as possible that it DOESN'T WORK with you!
And here's a lifeline or magic algorithm to cure your lady of her over-sensitivity:
- Defend your position if it seems right. Be unwavering if you're 100% sure. Wait for her to talk it out, no need to make concessions right away. Otherwise it will be a successful manipulation on her part.
- After a quarrel you should think carefully about whether you made a mistake somewhere. It is possible that she was right after all.
- After a while you should apologize, but ask for understanding from your side. The lady should understand what the guy is sacrificing for her, and she should be ready to make sacrifices for the sake of a strong relationship.
- In the last stage of reconciliation, the man should fulfill all the woman's demands to eliminate the offense, but she should also give in something on her part.
Manipulation is pure, my friend, and you are a fish caught in that net!
✅Your job is to disarm and show her as soon as possible that it DOESN'T WORK with you!
And here's a lifeline or magic algorithm to cure your lady of her over-sensitivity:
- Defend your position if it seems right. Be unwavering if you're 100% sure. Wait for her to talk it out, no need to make concessions right away. Otherwise it will be a successful manipulation on her part.
- After a quarrel you should think carefully about whether you made a mistake somewhere. It is possible that she was right after all.
- After a while you should apologize, but ask for understanding from your side. The lady should understand what the guy is sacrificing for her, and she should be ready to make sacrifices for the sake of a strong relationship.
- In the last stage of reconciliation, the man should fulfill all the woman's demands to eliminate the offense, but she should also give in something on her part.
Pinch of inspiration
"Success is a reachable thing!" - That's the thought that has settled in my head and still drives me today! I wish you the same!
I have a passion for reading biographies of famous people and now I am going to share one of the stories!
So, Jim Carrey🎭
This comedian lived with his family for a while in a Volkswagen bus parked all over Canada. Due to lack of money, he dropped out of high school and went to work!
He took a job as a janitor just to support his family. Kerry's story is inspiring as it was during these financially difficult times that he developed his sense of humour, on which he later made millions.
Conclusion: develop in all directions and one day you'll be great🏅
"Success is a reachable thing!" - That's the thought that has settled in my head and still drives me today! I wish you the same!
I have a passion for reading biographies of famous people and now I am going to share one of the stories!
So, Jim Carrey🎭
This comedian lived with his family for a while in a Volkswagen bus parked all over Canada. Due to lack of money, he dropped out of high school and went to work!
He took a job as a janitor just to support his family. Kerry's story is inspiring as it was during these financially difficult times that he developed his sense of humour, on which he later made millions.
Conclusion: develop in all directions and one day you'll be great🏅
Qualities for Losers
Changing your decision as you realized a mistake is personal growth, and constantly hesitating and shaking before every decision is a lifelong subscription to failure in business🥀
✅ There is only one tactic for a person who aspires to success: turn off your emotions, arm yourself with logic, think through your plan of action, and go ahead and conquer the world!
I haven't met a single person so far that indecision has made them successful!
👉🏻The pretty girl will pass by, and the boss will promote someone more proactive and that's it! Your success story never begins!
Changing your decision as you realized a mistake is personal growth, and constantly hesitating and shaking before every decision is a lifelong subscription to failure in business🥀
✅ There is only one tactic for a person who aspires to success: turn off your emotions, arm yourself with logic, think through your plan of action, and go ahead and conquer the world!
I haven't met a single person so far that indecision has made them successful!
👉🏻The pretty girl will pass by, and the boss will promote someone more proactive and that's it! Your success story never begins!
Watch the direction of the humor vector
Humor is an extremely crucial thing for keeping your insecurities in check! And in communicating with girls is your main weapon🧨
Here are a few topics and trends in humor that are best avoided when dealing with a lady:
1. Take your time with the blackness. Everyone's morals are different (not just girls, but people in general). She just might think you're weird and suspicious. In other words the girl will not feel safe anymore.
2. Not everyone will catch professional humor (the exception is colleagues and women who work in a similar field).
3. Put aside vulgar jokes. And the reason for this is not that girls are prudes. It's just that while you're in the beginning stages, it's better not to rush.
The main rule is that all girls wanna be hit on nicely🌹
Humor is an extremely crucial thing for keeping your insecurities in check! And in communicating with girls is your main weapon🧨
Here are a few topics and trends in humor that are best avoided when dealing with a lady:
1. Take your time with the blackness. Everyone's morals are different (not just girls, but people in general). She just might think you're weird and suspicious. In other words the girl will not feel safe anymore.
2. Not everyone will catch professional humor (the exception is colleagues and women who work in a similar field).
3. Put aside vulgar jokes. And the reason for this is not that girls are prudes. It's just that while you're in the beginning stages, it's better not to rush.
The main rule is that all girls wanna be hit on nicely🌹
The Arrow Method
Pierce daily life with the tip of your productivity🏆
Entrepreneur Nicholas Sonnenberg, the author of this method, believes that a WEEKLY schedule should resemble the tip of an arrow - the plenty of tasks to do in the beginning and less and less by the end of it. Why the comparison with an arrow is unclear, but still😁
So on Monday you have the maximum amount of things to do, and by the weekend it gets less and less.
⚡️ And I'll also say that this method is nice as you solve the most difficult tasks at the beginning of the week and if you don't make it in one day, you're definitely done with it by the end of the week!
Take note of that!
Pierce daily life with the tip of your productivity🏆
Entrepreneur Nicholas Sonnenberg, the author of this method, believes that a WEEKLY schedule should resemble the tip of an arrow - the plenty of tasks to do in the beginning and less and less by the end of it. Why the comparison with an arrow is unclear, but still😁
So on Monday you have the maximum amount of things to do, and by the weekend it gets less and less.
⚡️ And I'll also say that this method is nice as you solve the most difficult tasks at the beginning of the week and if you don't make it in one day, you're definitely done with it by the end of the week!
Take note of that!
Self-Confidence Skill
Things are clear confidence, but failures must be dealt with wisely!
And first of all, in order not to lose the fuse to achieve the goal, it is crucial not to look for a source of strength in someone, but to be the same for yourself - that’s called the inner core🧨.
And to find the strength to move on, rather than falling into despair, you need to remember the person who knew how to support you in a difficult moment!
Try to memorize: what that person did and said. How did you feel when you were with him or her? How did the acceptance and approval affect you? How did it affect your life?
May the power be with you, champ🏆
✔️There are other ways to deal with a tough situation and support yourself, I wonder?:)
Things are clear confidence, but failures must be dealt with wisely!
And first of all, in order not to lose the fuse to achieve the goal, it is crucial not to look for a source of strength in someone, but to be the same for yourself - that’s called the inner core🧨.
And to find the strength to move on, rather than falling into despair, you need to remember the person who knew how to support you in a difficult moment!
Try to memorize: what that person did and said. How did you feel when you were with him or her? How did the acceptance and approval affect you? How did it affect your life?
May the power be with you, champ🏆
✔️There are other ways to deal with a tough situation and support yourself, I wonder?:)
Choose your environment properly.
That’s the simplest and most incredibly effective rule!
If you feel lousy around someone - say goodbye to them, if you're walking like a lemon after another whine from someone you know - cry farewell to them, if someone mentions you when they need something - don't even look in their direction!
❗️And don't feel sorry for them!
Surround yourself with people who have a goal and are enthusiastic about it, you will be motivated and have someone to look up to!
You build your environment, and it also builds you🏆
That’s the simplest and most incredibly effective rule!
If you feel lousy around someone - say goodbye to them, if you're walking like a lemon after another whine from someone you know - cry farewell to them, if someone mentions you when they need something - don't even look in their direction!
❗️And don't feel sorry for them!
Surround yourself with people who have a goal and are enthusiastic about it, you will be motivated and have someone to look up to!
You build your environment, and it also builds you🏆
The "burden of proof" tactic and its application to an argument
Crush and dominate other people's opinions!
Proving is harder than destroying evidence. That's what we'll work with👌🏻
Instead of insisting on your opinion, give your interlocutor the opportunity to prove it wrong.
Now it's not you proving your point of view is correct, it's him trying to convince you of its incorrectness, so you are INSTANTLY in a winning position.
⚡️ All that's left to do is to defeat him intelligently.
Crush and dominate other people's opinions!
Proving is harder than destroying evidence. That's what we'll work with👌🏻
Instead of insisting on your opinion, give your interlocutor the opportunity to prove it wrong.
Now it's not you proving your point of view is correct, it's him trying to convince you of its incorrectness, so you are INSTANTLY in a winning position.
⚡️ All that's left to do is to defeat him intelligently.
Awkward Silence
The same beast everyone else is afraid of, even the most brutal male! And in vain😏
Frequently, guys try to fill the pause and strike up a new conversation by asking questions without stopping. And you know what they think: that you're giving them the ultimate interrogation!
I'll let you in on a little secret - all the awkwardness is in your head!
❌When there's a pause in the conversation, the girl will look at you, and if she sees your dazed look and nervousness, you're in trouble, boy! She's got you figured out!
✅And if you're silent and buzzed about what's going on, whether it's a walk or a hot coffee, she'll know there's no problem and no reason to get excited. It will be further proof that YOU ARE CONTROLLING THE SITUATION.
And if she felt a little uneasy before, she'll get rid of it.
The same beast everyone else is afraid of, even the most brutal male! And in vain😏
Frequently, guys try to fill the pause and strike up a new conversation by asking questions without stopping. And you know what they think: that you're giving them the ultimate interrogation!
I'll let you in on a little secret - all the awkwardness is in your head!
❌When there's a pause in the conversation, the girl will look at you, and if she sees your dazed look and nervousness, you're in trouble, boy! She's got you figured out!
✅And if you're silent and buzzed about what's going on, whether it's a walk or a hot coffee, she'll know there's no problem and no reason to get excited. It will be further proof that YOU ARE CONTROLLING THE SITUATION.
And if she felt a little uneasy before, she'll get rid of it.