Is it really worth it to be cold-blooded at all?

It's such a...
A quality that dulls the senses, both good and bad. How to enjoy yourself with such a given?!

Oh, it's easy, I'll tell you with confidence😉
So many painful situations can be avoided by a moderately cold-blooded attitude. Especially, it is good to keep away from "so-so" people.
True, you often trust "so-so" people first and then you start treating it right...

So, yeah.
The big catch is that cold-blooded people aren't born🙌🏻
In almost the vast majority of cases, equanimity is the result of the peripeteia of life events and decisions.
So, this feeling is primarily "stuffed" by experience.

How to guide yourself in cultivating equanimity?
Oh, and this is not an easy question...
We will definitely discuss it next time😉

The most valuable and important thing for you is…

The uniqueness of your thoughts, knowledge and skills👌🏻
These are simply the KEY things that attract people to you in both work and human relationships.

Average skills and chasing "trendy professions" certainly makes some sense. What's more, it can even yield some good results.

However, be afraid to miss out and ignore your uniqueness!

If there is an occupation that brings you joy - try to develop in it.
If there are strengths in an existing job, but there are internal fears about them - give up on your fears and try it.

That's advice for ages😉

I'd like to touch on a hot topic today.

The topic of how we, men, feel about marriage😁
And to be more specific, it is about the favorite excuse "the stamp is not important, it does not solve anything".
Of course, that's a fallacy.

The stamp decides a lot from the legal and psychological point of view.
Its effect on the "climate" within a couple is not my question, and that's another conversation.

It's just that women need to understand the weight of responsibility that falls on a man at once. That's why women are not afraid of a stamp - they have much less responsibility.
This is, by no means, gender discrimination, it's just a fact🙃

I'll give men a piece of advice - don't drag your ladies with phrases like "a stamp is not important".
It won't do any good.

I'm gonna share my experience with the "magic pill".

Easy, nothing illegal😁

I'm about to share about nootropics.
Not long ago they were recommended from all sides as a way to "improve the brain's abilities".

They say that nootropic drugs help to improve concentration and "get through" difficult periods without stress.
But somehow I didn't notice this effect🤔
For some reason I wasn’t satisfied with this fact and decided to dig deeper.

As I managed to find out - nootropics are not exactly needed to "improve brain abilities".
These drugs are used to prevent the development of brain dysfunctions in elderly people🙃
They take care of the brain vessels, so to speak.

As one doctor friend explained to me:
👉🏻Notropics can't bring memory back or improve it-they can stop the process of losing it.

And just so you know, nootropics are not used in Europe and America.

"I chose the wrong field to become rich."

This thesis-justification seems quite successful to many people.
Like, how am I going to make money being a conductor/teacher/miner?

And yes, this argument seems logical enough...
But, let's look at the question deeper🤔

Aren't there millionaires and billionaires in virtually every sphere of life?

Haven't people created corporations on a global scale by working their way up to the main product factory of a future corporation?
Or isn't there a teacher who has taken to popularizing his or her field (physics, chemistry, math, and so on)?

Yes, there certainly are!
What distinguishes them from those who don't?
It's simple - they love, know, and masterfully "do" their thing.

So, of course, it is important to focus on relevant and in-demand activities. But this is not the most important condition for success👌🏻

Don't make excuses.

☝🏻 A highly useful habit that I recommend you "get”.

A person who is overly dependent on public opinion tends to blame everyone else for his failures, but not himself. He is constantly looking for excuses...

Why?
It's not clear👐🏻
We need to get rid of this strange and unnecessary manner!

Successful people know that they are responsible for everything that happens in their personal and professional lives.
The point of making excuses for one's blunders is to pay MAXIMUM attention to them - it's the only way to become more productive.

The other extreme of "justifying oneself" is belief in fate and predestination.
I don't even want to comment here...
Believing in "predestination" is very convenient🙃

Friends, rely only on yourself and control your own destiny. Waiting for a miracle is unproductive.

​Funny and sweet story happened to me today

A couple of days ago I arrived in my hometown. Population of several hundred thousand people - calm and unhurried atmosphere prevails even in the center.
Well, at least it seems that way after the central cities😬

I'm sitting in my car in the center, waiting for a call from a man.
A boy about 11 years old comes up to me with a very shabby bouquet of flowers and offers to buy them. I automatically refuse him - he leaves and continues to offer people around to buy flowers.
They refuse him, refuse him for the twentieth time, but he does not give up!

And something about this made me go all sentimental, I do not know why...

I looked at him for about three minutes, decided to get out of the car and walked over:
- "How much for the flowers?"
- "200," he said with eyes like the cat from Shrek.

I gave him 500 and took the half-dead bouquet. Threw it on the back seats and drove on about my business. I had this awful nice, warm feeling in my stomach, and...

And then I drove 500 meters, and I saw a bed in front of a three-storeyed building, where the kid seemed to have picked this bouquet😁

I looked at the flowers, and their stems just broken, and as obliquely and unevenly as possible - the kid literally broke them with his hands.

The science of the story is this.
Learn how to make money from nothing and give people good things😅
It feels good.

I gave the flowers to an old acquaintance (my wife won't be offended!).

The easiest trick for controlling dialogue

Today I wanted to discuss this aspect of our lives.

👉🏻 Mirroring or reflection is a basic psychological technique that allows you to attract your interlocutor.
It consists in repeating poses, facial expressions, gestures, tone and phrases of the person.

When the interlocutor demonstrates body language similar to ours, this subconsciously makes us react in the same way: "I feel that this person likes me - he agrees with me. I like him because we are alike - we have a lot in common, I'm interested and enjoyable with him."

Just please don't overdo the degree of reflection!
Do not take a completely mirror pose, mark only one element - crossed arms, tilt of the head or position of the torso.
Don't copy movements and facial expressions thoroughly in the same second - copy, for example, the manner of movements (calm, sparse, open).

I have already practiced these things to automatism and regularly use them in business negotiations👌🏻

​How the environment "prescribes" our personality for years to come

Another telling story from my recent vacation came to mind - it relates to this very topic☝🏻

Sitting on the balcony during the evening part of the day, I observed a family on the veranda of a small café inside the complex of three people having dinner: middle-aged parents and a boy of about twelve.
Eating in silence, at one point the mother says to her daughter, "You'll eat now and go to bed." "I don't want to sleep," the boy replies. "Nobody's asking you," the father puts in his point.

Nothing seemingly unique or inappropriately rude. Probably a lot of people have heard similar things in their childhood.

But here's what's likely to happen to this boy.

When he grows up, he won't even realize why he doesn't have an opinion about life.
Why he torments himself with a bitchy wife, why he bends to a despotic boss, why he tolerates strange friends who waste his time and unashamedly use his resources without giving anything in return🙌🏻

Why?
Because such poking (which his father did) forms a slavish firmament throughout growing up - no one asks you, keep your head down, take a walk in the yard.

Discipline is certainly useful and necessary.
But, I have to ask, who do you want to raise?
An obedient man, following commands, the opinion of the majority and unable to make serious decisions?

I doubt it🤔

Then, future parents, give your children plenty of freedom and give a REASON for all this "discipline".

​It really pisses me off when people put themselves in the losing position.

It often manifests itself in these "harmless" phrases:
- I guess I just wasn't meant to be rich...
- How unlucky I have been in my life...
- What can I do about my situation?
- It's all "somewhere out there" far away, not with me.

"Well, what are you doing!" - I wanna scream at the top of my lungs😤
Aren't you sick of these excuses yourself?
Yeah, obviously, some people are just in catastrophic circumstances that many people wouldn't even dream of. But damn it, life is one - isn't it worth "floundering" for the sake of it?

A short cautionary tale (or parable🤔) came to mind - my mother used to tell me when I was a kid.

About two frogs who accidentally jumped into a jug of sour cream and started drowning. One gave up because she thought they had no chance. And the other one "floundered" so long that it made solid butter out of the sour cream, after which it got out of the jug safely.

The thought is simple, but I have returned to it more than once in my life - finding the motivation to "flounder."
After all, if you don't, then the moment of your voluntary surrender will be remembered for a lifetime and will be the most painful scar.

I'd like to mention a hot topic today.

The topic of how we men feel about marriage😁
And to be more specific, it is about the favorite excuse "the stamp is not important, it does not solve anything".
Of course, that's a fallacy.

The stamp decides a lot from the legal and psychological point of view.
Its effect on the "climate" within a couple is not my question, and that's another conversation.

It's just that women need to understand the weight of responsibility that falls on a man at once. That's why women are not afraid of a stamp - they have much less responsibility.
This is not gender discrimination by any means, it's just a fact🙃

I'll give men a piece of advice - don't mock your ladies with phrases like "a stamp is not important".
It won't do any good.

Word "NO"

Sounds scary to many people! There is a certain % of people who can't say no to another person. Which directly affects themselves.☝🏻

Well, I've had many clients who were literally ridden by friends, acquaintances, and relatives. They were always trying to please others.

Psychology calls it - pleasing the other. That is not a good thing, because constantly trying to please others, carries negative consequences.

‼️In fact, you always have the right to refuse someone's request. Unless the task is your responsibility, unless you have made promises, you have the right to refuse the person.

Trust me, it will be for your own good! Needless worries, stress and other consequences will simply fall away. Internal balance and peace will appear.

You can help, but within reason.

I put a thought in your head, all you have to do is think about it.😁

A simple but VERY effective rule of financial literacy

Keep a record of your expenses and income!

Yes, it can be difficult, you need to have a proper level of self-control, develop a habit (otherwise you won't do this accounting for more than a couple of months) and basically have a goal to increase your income.

I remember in my early 20s, when I started earning above average, I didn't spare any money🧐
Agreeing to any friend's requests, putting the largest share into the communal fund, spending money on some silly things...

Of course, I didn't lose all my capital - I still had a certain self-control. But if you count how much money was "wasted," and think about what you could have done with it...
Oh, it hurts to think about it, friends, it hurts😅

So, a word of advice.
👉🏻Choose a convenient time, and write down your spending and expenses in a convenient format. There are plenty of special applications for this, but you can also do it the old-fashioned way - keep records in Excel or notepad.

How to silence your interlocutor

Sometimes, we just need it...
The situation doesn’t allow you to leave the dialogue, and you should bring the conversation to a productive conclusion (a deal, for example). Then,
it is also necessary to have time to express the opinion.

And the first unpleasant truth - if you should continue a dialogue, it’s necessary to listen all the same. And start from the words of the interlocutor, as so far, he has no desire to listen to yours.
"Can I clarify?"
"Did I get it correctly?"

Questions like these will help you☝🏻
Add your experience confirming that you understand his feelings and thoughts. After such lite hypocrisy and flattery, it will be much easier to turn the monologue into a DIALOGUE.

Your business won't grow until you grow yourself

A career as a government worker, a creative activity, a business...
It doesn't matter at all - this rule works EVERYWHERE. The current thinking of many of us keeps us in the shackles of old results, not allowing us to get new ones without changing the structure of our thoughts.

As long as you're applying old techniques, as long as you're solving all the problems alone, as long as you're going around in circles trying to fix things, it only gets worse.

If you can't do it the old way anymore:
- work like hell, not getting the results you want;
- can't carry everything on your back - no one can do it better than you;
- stomp in place, propping up the "glass ceiling".

So it's time to change your usual approach to business.
Or at least think about the reasons for these thoughts☝🏻

One of the most unhealthy habits...

And I'm not talking about smoking, alcohol, etc. - the question is a little deeper.

I mean the habit of setting the alarm clock.
Oh, how I loved to do that😁
I remember at one point I didn't get up until half an hour after the first bell rang. And for good reason!

Morning is a very productive start to the day. That's why it's important to start it right. And probably everyone has noticed that sleeping before dinner does not energize us, but rather makes us feel "boiled" and lazy. In addition, there is a feeling that the day has passed uselessly🙌🏻

Recalled another pretty questionable modern habit

👉🏻The habit of using gadgets before going to bed.

I’m not an opponent of modern technology, on the contrary, I’m in favor of it with all my might.
But I notice that, if use my phone before going to bed, it is a little harder for me to fall asleep afterwards, than usual. As far as I know, this pattern has a medical basis.

The so-called sleep hormone melatonin regulates our cycle of day and night. As soon as total darkness sets in and our visual receptors pick up on this, it begins to be produced in the body. If complete darkness does not come (any variation of the night shifted operating mode), a disruption in internal rhythms is provided🙌🏻

Yep, sometimes you can't get away from such costs, I get that perfectly.
But try to keep them to a minimum!

Word "NO"

Sounds scary to many people! There is a certain % of people who can't say no to another person. Which directly affects themselves.☝🏻

Well, I've had many clients who were literally ridden by friends, acquaintances, and relatives. They were always trying to please others.

Psychology calls it - pleasing the other. That is not a good thing, because constantly trying to please others, carries negative consequences.

‼️In fact, you always have the right to refuse someone's request. Unless the task is your responsibility, unless you have made promises, you have the right to refuse the person.

Trust me, it will be for your own good! Needless worries, stress and other consequences will simply fall away. Internal balance and peace will appear.

You can help, but within reason.

I put a thought in your head, all you have to do is think about it.😁

How to stop being a handy person in an abusive relationship?

More and more people are asking me for guidance: "Help me get out of a toxic relationship".
You mean to tell me that this kind of attitude didn't exist in this world before? There certainly was. But now people, by virtue of their awareness, can tell the difference between a healthy attitude of their partner and an abusive one.

What does the abuser want?
All he wants is total obedience and submission.
When he doesn't get that, he does the following 👇

He resumes the candy and bouquet period, seeks to "tame" the victim again.
What do I see as a way to keep it that way?
You have to keep your distance at all times. That way the abuser will feel like he can easily lose you at any moment.

What is risk?

Now try to answer it for yourself.
Skydiving? Riding a roller coaster? Bull riding?
Nah, that's not it. That's more of an extreme.

Taking risks, on the other hand, is the ability to break your comfort and tranquility a little bit to achieve a goal.

You can be an uptight high school kid who's too shy to walk up to a pretty girl and start a conversation with her. Risk = the ability to do it.

If you are able to take a risk, it means you are choosing life's path of action over inaction.

And action is the only way to continually evolve and get better by learning from mistakes.

Symptoms that are yelling at you that it's time to take yourself back

1️⃣ You don't stand up for your opinion.
Do you feel like your partner is always right? Congrats, you're dissolving into him.The catch is that he's not interested in always being right, which means you risk becoming uninterested in him.

Acknowledge the value of your partner's opinion, but stick to your own.

2️⃣ You forget what you want.
When you often push your own interests to please your partner, it's a path downhill.
Don't deny yourself what you want. Love yourself.
⠀
3️⃣ Open all your boundaries.
Together every day is the way to fatigue and irritation. Missing your partner can be necessary so you don't lose the urgency of your need for each other.

Don't get carried away with full disclosure of all your heartstrings. Let a part of you remain only yours.