偶然地我在 Quora 读到下面这个答案， 在读这个故事的过程中，我能听到我的心砰砰跳。#人生故事

### Did you take your parents for granted? What made you realize that?

Nancy Olson posted this answer 4 years ago. She is M. Ed from University of North Dakota.

When I was eight years old my dad retired from his job at the ship yard, and we moved from Lomita, CA to a small place called Woodys in the middle of the desert. I didn't understand why we had to leave my brother and sisters, my nieces and nephews. I didn't understand why we went from a two bedroom trailer for the four of us to a cramped camping trailer, where my brother slept on the floor, and I slept on a table converted into a bed each night.

Suddenly my twelve year old brother watched me all the time. My parents were always saying, “we will be out of town all day. Make sure you go to school and do your homework. We will be back late.”

There was nothing to do! We had one small TV that got two channels, 2 and 4, both with lots of snow. Outside was the desert as far as we could see in one direction. In another a two way road. The third held a view of Woody’s house and several outbuildings. The last a duck pond with a footbridge over it. We were forbidden to go to the road, the house, the pond. We had to stay in sight of the trailer if we went in the desert -- and it was just sand, cactus and creosote bushes.

Then summer came and suddenly both Henry and I had no school to go to during the day. The little trailer had no swamp cooler and was made of metal. The heat was too oppressive to stay in the trailer during the day, so Henry and I spent our time in the meager shade the trailer afforded, filling a gallon jug in the little sink and pouring it over our heads to stay cool. At night we all sweated in the small space, windows and door open to catch the lightest gust of breeze.

I often had a hard time sleeping in the heat. I had learned to lay still and be quiet. My parents would often talk or watch TV after they thought we were asleep. It was to my benefit to be seen but not heard.

One night I heard my mom crying. I was scared. My mom never cried. Then I heard my dad say, “now Susan, it will be ok.”

“It won’t be ok Oscar. I can't do this without you.”

Wait what does mom mean? Do what without Dad? Where is Dad going? But they are always together.

“I have at least six months, and I promise you I'll get you in a house and settled. You'll have social security. Terry will help you when he can. It will be ok.” My dad sounded desperate and sad.

Six months? Where is my dad going in six months? I need my dad. He can't go anywhere!

“Survivor benefits are less Oscar, and we've always been a team. I'm scared.”

Me too mom. I'm scared now too.

“I know honey, but I'm here now. I'll fight as long as I can, I promise.”

The next day I asked Henry if he had heard them talking. I told him I was scared.

“Nancy! You know better than to listen to other people's conversations. What did they say?”

I repeated what i had heard. I expected Henry to freak out, but he just sighed.

“So now you know. Dad is dying. They gave him six months, but he is in a drug trial. They think he may have up to five years.”

Five years? My dad will be dead in six months to five years? He can't die. I need him!

I was eight years old when I learned I had taken my dad for granted. I learned that day that no one lives forever, not even moms and dads -- and I vowed I would never take my dad for granted again.

原文地址 <https://www.quora.com/Did-you-take-your-parents-for-granted-What-made-you-realize-that>

#english

Take for granted 是一个英语短语，意思因上下文不同而稍有变化，主要有以下两种用法：

---

### 1. 认为……是理所当然的（不珍惜）
- 指对某事物或某人习以为常，没有给予足够的重视或感激，忽略其重要性。
- 常带有消极的语气，表示一种忽视或不珍惜的态度。

例句：
- Don’t take your family for granted; appreciate them every day.
不要把家人视为理所当然，要每天感激他们。
- He always took her kindness for granted, and now she’s gone.
他总是把她的好意当作理所当然，现在她已经离开了。

---

### 2. 误认为；想当然
- 表示对某事物的误解或想当然，以为某件事是真实的、正确的或必然发生的。
- 常用于指出一种错误的假设或轻率的判断。

例句：
- I took it for granted that you knew about the meeting.
我想当然地以为你知道这次会议。
- Don’t take for granted that everything will go as planned.
不要想当然地以为一切会按计划进行。

---

### 短语结构：
- Take (something/someone) for granted
其中 "take" 表示接受，"for granted" 的意思是“视为理所当然”。

---

### 近义表达：
- Overlook: 忽视。
- He overlooked the importance of teamwork.
他忽视了团队合作的重要性。
- Assume: 假定，想当然。
- She assumed that he would agree, but he didn’t.
她以为他会同意，但他并没有。
- Underappreciate: 未充分重视或感激。
- His efforts were underappreciated by the team.
他的努力没有被团队充分认可。

---

### 总结：
Take for granted 的两种常见用法：
1. 忽视或不珍惜某人或某事的价值。
2. 想当然地认为某事为真或必然发生。

这是一个非常常用的短语，用于提醒人们珍惜身边的事物或避免过于轻率的假设。

昨天下班后连着#看了 好几集《All creatures Great and small》（万物既伟大又渺小 第一季）。虽然剧情漏洞也挺明显的，但还是忍不住想看。

#english #网摘

> 刷到一条小红书说，多邻国只是给你提供一种进步的幻想。要学习语言，几百天打卡的时间，不如老实看两节课学得多。

那时，我在通勤地铁上，刚结束第 293 天的日语打卡，学习了「不喜欢把钱借给朋友」这样的句子。但也几乎是关上软件，就忘掉了。

还好暂时没有日本朋友找我借钱。

学习新鲜事物产生的获得感刺激来得猛也去得快，这 293 天里，有很多天，是没什么学习的兴致的。于是会趁睡前做一套最基础的五十音练习，跳过听力口语，一分钟不到，就能搞定打卡。

进步的感受在衰退，但至少「学习的天数」这个事实在侥幸地增长。

这让我觉得，那条小红书说的可能是对的。

但与此同时，另一个我又想坚定地捍卫自己，默默进行着「能不能少对别人的学习方式指指点点」「我只想维系学习的状态凭什么要求我有效率」的反击。

想要进步的我，和想要自洽的我，时常混淆，随时搏斗。

类似的时刻还有今年和我爸的一次对话。他问，工作几年了还是这样原地踏步，你说是不是？

我听完掷地有声：整个大环境倒退的时候，我还能原地踏步，说明就是在进步！

这是对外的我，用自洽作为武装，但内里，我能看见那份心虚，那种明知道工作陷入了停滞，却仍要借力时代形势来放过自己的狡猾。

没有分数和阅卷老师的生活里，到底谁能来判断我有没有进步呢？各平台的年度总结无法记录，也肯定不能是连我做什么工作都不清楚的我爸。

只能是自己。集自责与自洽于一体的自己。

后来，我真的买了一套标准日本语，却发现下班后，很难有一节课的时间来不受打扰地学习，由于暂无日本旅游计划，也没有足够的动力和热情去挤出这样的时间。

这套教程随后被我从书桌挪到了书柜角落。但意外地，没冒出「没做到」的沮丧，反而感到轻松。

因为它意味着，多邻国不是一种进步的幻想，而是我有限热情的一种呈现，是我在目标还未浮现的日子里的缓慢踱步。

当然，在其他有目标的领域，进步的拷问还会频繁出现。

但此时，我的心里又狡猾地响起了，「还差一周就 2025 了，要不明年再说吧」。

你呢？

原文 <https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/6JjyKewFhtQ20EPjObocug>

就我自己而言，在多邻国，我不想学又不想错过打卡的话，我就狂练口语跟读。别的有没有进步我不知道，但几年下来，我发音改善了不少。（已经连续打卡1289天的我也承认多邻国对能力的提高帮助不大，然而睡前十分钟不做这个瞎刷手机对学英语帮助是零，你说呢）

#oracle To get the last 2 characters from a string in PL/SQL, you can use the SUBSTR function. Here's the syntax:

SUBSTR(string, -2)

#game digger
ubuntu 22.04 compile old game digger

First, you need to download digger-20020314.tar.gz from <https://digger.org/unix.html> and

cd ~/Downloads
tar zxvf digger-20020314.tar.gz
cd digger-20020314
sudo apt install libsdl1.2-compat-dev
make -f Makefile.sdl
./digger /A

!image

#网友语录

斩左 一个人一生，真正无忧无虑，幸福快乐的时光，能有多少。。。我觉得，算下来，可能真不如你家里仅能活十几年的猫狗多。。。

有个网友给自己买了最新款的macmini，我有点羡慕。但还是对自己说，我的电脑足够用了。虽然是几年前的。眼馋应该是人类最朴素的毛病之一吧😄

昨晚提交了一份相当重要的文件（远儿的resident签证），希望能有一个期待的结果。我睡得挺晚，估计是最近唯一一次零点以后睡。但早上还是准时醒来刷手机。

昨晚和Eric由为什么打游戏话题到探讨活着的意义。Eric说单单能从游戏中得到快乐这就挺有意义。我心里不服，但无从反驳。

今天又在饭否看到这个，我现在觉得把快乐放到前头不对：高标准应该是平静。

> 舒克 依我说高标准是快乐而平静RT@水色云音 转@管埋员 李银河说：人生的高标准是获得快乐，人生的低标准是获得平静。没达到这两个境界，人生就是痛苦的。

#网摘

#网友语录

贾行家 有关过什么人生的问题想起来头疼，不妨换一个问题：我为什么会玩一个游戏，别满足于直接的回答，使劲儿想，到底是为什么。

（对对对，这就是我突然跟Eric谈人生的由头）话说谈完，我就回到我的电脑上下载了古董游戏Digger并设法在我的Ubuntu上编译出来。玩了20分钟，还是那么笨，连第三关都很少能打到。

大过节的，网上看到这个：很恐怖，但在某些社会里却几乎是现实。

!image
#网摘

Prof. Feynman Knowledge grows when you ask stupid questions. Stupidity grows when you don't ask anything.

#网摘

挺好的主题，现代编剧为啥非要在每一集里都要整个小高潮，几个反转啥的。虽然演员们都在努力的演，但我却渐渐失去了兴趣。

#看了 纪录片《波音的致命缺陷》。唉。管理层不懂业务没有良心，自己监管自己。波音曾经是那么伟大的公司。也许任何伟大同时也很平凡吧。就像那个剧名《万物伟大又渺小》，伟大的班子同时也是草台班子。

#laugh #笑着笑着就哭了
Marskay 明末许多笔记小说都有个类似的故事：一位提兵在外的大员，身边有个多年随侍的仆人，极受信任。一日，这仆人突然来辞行，因主人竭力挽留，才说明了自己的真实身份。原来他是东厂的探子，多年来一直负责监视主人一切行动，由于主人长期以来行为端正，东厂认为无须再加以监视，所以召他回去另安排任务。

#网摘 生命是宝贵的，对每一个人都只有一次。对生命的珍视是永远值得敬重的普世价值。

美国历史学家将兴南港撤退称为“美国军事史上最伟大的海上撤退行动”。而其中美海军的一艘普通的货船梅雷迪思号胜利轮，在长津湖战役后期美军的兴南大撤退过程中，为了尽可能多的装人，拆除了船上所有的非必需设备，以最大负荷装人，最终装了14,000人，这艘船也被载入金氏世界纪录，是“人类历史上最大的单船撤离”，船员在战后获美国商船协会颁发最高的荣誉奖章。

!image

Hanmer Springs 我们来啦

!露营地

!街景

#书摘
当我们刚出生时，我们其实能够听出并学习所有语言的发声，而当我们开始学习周围语言的声音，大脑和发音系统便向母语的声音进行调适。于是，通常在跨入生命的第二年之前，我们就已失去了识别许多其他语言声音的能力。在这个被称为感知窄化的过程中，与母语音素相对应的神经通路被加强，而与外来声音相对应的通路被剪除。我们从一个能够区分所有语言声音的“世界公民”，变成了只能区分母语声音的“本国公民”。而对于多语者而言，这一“通用”声音处理窗口会保持更长的时间。

摩尔多瓦作家扬·克良格：我知道我不算聪明，但当我环顾四周，便获得了勇气。