Crypto soothsayer
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Current news from the world of cryptocurrencies and market analysis. Read us and have up-to-date information! We are open for cooperation: https://t.me/kryptoadv
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Michael Saylor and Strategy just tanked a stock market apocalypse like it was nothing. 🔥

While tariff wars rocked the markets, investors looked at one thing: 528,000 BTC worth $35B sitting strong on the company’s balance sheet 💼💰

No fancy hedging, no panic selling — just pure Bitcoin conviction.

Wall Street may wobble, but Saylor’s strategy stands tall. Investors said “Yes” to the hardest asset in the room. 💪
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👊 Black Monday vibes incoming...

Bitcoin has plunged below $76,000, and ETH is generously offering flashbacks to bear market prices — rapidly creeping toward $1,000 again 😅

But there’s no need to be too upset — it’s not just crypto. Stocks are tumbling 📉, oil is dropping 🛢, and everyone’s waiting to see how the U.S. market opens 🫣

Might be a good day to not check your portfolio 👀
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📉 Dow Jones today vs. Black Monday 1987

While today’s drop is “just” -5.5% vs. -22% back in ’87, the market is now on track for its worst 3-day streak since that infamous crash.

History doesn’t repeat, but it sure rhymes — and this verse isn’t pretty. 🥴
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💥 $1.37B liquidated in 24h!

Bybit takes the crown with $549M in liquidations, thanks to full transparency. Meanwhile, other exchanges (👀 Binance) seem a little too calm for the chaos we just saw.

So yeah, odds are the real liquidation total is even higher — but hey, at least someone’s being honest out here.
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😑 FTX strikes again — but this time with legal fine print.

The bankrupt exchange has officially wiped out 392,000 customer claims worth over $2.5 billion because users didn’t pass KYC before March 3 🧾🚫

That’s $655M in small claims and $1.9B in larger ones — all gone with the court's approval. Just like that, FTX saved itself a multi-billion-dollar payout 💸

Moral of the story? In crypto bankruptcy land, no KYC = no mercy.
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The performance of the top 10 coins since Donald Trump's inauguration. 📉🤷
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💻 Bitcoin just hit 1 ZETAHASH!

For the first time ever, BTC's network hash rate reached 1 ZH/s — that's 1,000 exahashes every second (aka a quintillion hashes per exa 😵).

What does it mean? The mining difficulty is about to go up to keep that sweet 10-minute block time stable.

But with the market dumping, smaller miners might not survive this power surge — expect some to shut down or get absorbed. Survival of the fittest! 💪⚡️
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📉 BTC Futures Open Interest Drops to $34.5B

Open interest in Bitcoin futures has dipped to $34.5B, with Glassnode noting that even a short-lived bounce from the $33.8B low on April 3 wasn’t enough to break the broader downtrend.

The futures market keeps shrinking as risk appetite across the board continues to fade. Traders are clearly playing it safe — or just napping through the volatility. 😴💤
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🇺🇸 Trump Urges Fed to Cut Rates Amid Economic Slowdown

Donald Trump is calling out the Fed again:

🗣 “Oil prices are down, food prices are. There’s NO INFLATION. Yet rates are still too high!”


He blames the Fed for being too slow — first with hikes, now with cuts — and warns the U.S. economy is “choking” while the Fed stalls.

💥 Meanwhile, the Fed is holding a closed-door meeting today to possibly revise the discount rate (used for short-term loans to banks).

🔍 Market signals:

• 40% chance of an emergency fed rate cut next week
• 50% chance of a cut in May

Trump’s pressure adds fuel to the rate-cut speculation — will the Fed act or wait? Eyes on the outcome. 👀
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🎢 Crypto Powered by Trump Tariff Rumors

Enough with the market scams! 🤬

Last night, BTC spiked to $81K on rumors that Trump would delay tariffs by 90 days. Just 5 minutes later — rumor denied — and BTC crashed to $77K.

📉 US stock market also whiplashed: +$2T in gains vanished into a -$3T loss within an hour.

Funny how fast these “rumors” move billions... who's really benefiting? 🤔

🌀 BTC bounced back above $80K, now stabilizing around $79K.
But this isn’t a rally — it’s Trump’s wild crypto coaster.

⚠️ Watch out: If nothing changes by April 9, Trump’s tariff law fully kicks in — could trigger another wave of volatility.

🔥 Key crypto dates this week:

• April 10, 15:30 — US Inflation Data
• April 11 — SEC roundtable on crypto trading

Buckle up — this month’s just heating up.
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🎰🤣 When Even the Casino Loses at the Casino

Remember ZKasino? Yeah, that crypto “casino” that rug-pulled users by swapping their ETH for shitcoins $ZKAS.

Well… instead of laundering the stolen ETH like normal scammers, they went full degen and longed ETH on Hyperliquid with the loot. Bold move.

💥 Fast forward to yesterday's market dump —
Their $27M position got liquidated.

Even in crypto, casinos can’t beat the house. 😁
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📉 Stock Market Wipeout — Only Grandpa Warren Survived 👀

Investors who entered the U.S. stock market over a year ago have now lost all their gains — unless they exited before the tariff war drama started.

One shining exception? 🧓 Warren Buffett — the 95-year-old legend is still up $12.7B.

🗓 Six months ago, news broke that Buffett started pulling out of the market.
Back then, no one understood why.
Now? It all makes perfect sense.
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🌐 Binance: Tariffs Are Shaking Global Markets & Crypto 📉

Binance just dropped a fresh report highlighting that we’re now facing the toughest trade tariffs since the 1930s — and yes, it’s already impacting both the global economy and crypto markets. 🧐

What’s next? Expect more volatility ahead as tensions escalate. Buckle up, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride. 🎢
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💸 Someone Just Paid $59,400 in BTC Fees! 🙀

In the Bitcoin network, a user accidentally approved a transaction with a fee of 0.75 BTC — that’s around $59,400 at current prices.

To put it in perspective, that’s 96,642x higher than the average fee. 💰

It looks as one of the most expensive "oops" moments in crypto history. 🤷
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📉 Market Correction? Yes. Panic? Not Really. 😉

Despite the ongoing market correction, on-chain data shows no signs of panic selling. The absence of "panic bars" (orange spikes) in the realized profit/loss ratio chart suggests that hodlers are keeping calm and holding their positions. 👀

💡 Long-term investors aren’t rushing for the exits — instead, they’re staying level-headed and letting the market play out. A rare moment of Zen in crypto! 🧘‍♂️
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🔍 Ray Dalio: It's Not Just About Tariffs

While headlines focus on Trump’s new tariffs, Ray Dalio urges us not to miss the bigger picture. According to him, the world is going through a once-in-a-lifetime breakdown in three major systems:

1. 💸 Monetary Order – Massive debt imbalances between the U.S. (borrower) and China (lender) are unsustainable. The system of “we buy, they lend” is breaking apart.
2. ⚖️ Political Order – Extreme division, loss of compromise, and ineffective leadership are weakening democracies.
3. 🌍 Geopolitical Order – The era of U.S.-led global cooperation is ending. We’re entering a world of self-interest and power politics.

Add in tech disruption, climate events, and populism—and you get a volatile mix. Tariffs are just a symptom, not the cause.

📘 Dalio says we’re early in the “Big Cycle” shift. 🤔
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Donald Trump's merch caps will go up in price by 34% due to tariffs—because they're made in China 😄
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Bitcoin gets tossed around again! 📉

🗣 After Trump dropped a whopping new tariff of 104% on China—proving tariffs can go above 100% if you really want to double the price out of thin air—Bitcoin dipped to test $74K again. Overnight, it staged a comeback to $77K, but the rollercoaster isn’t over yet. 🎢

With new tariffs kicking in today and China known for not backing down easily, expect more wild market moves and high volatility ahead. 👀

Hold on tight, crypto fam—this ride is far from smooth!
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