💸 Crypto Trader's $36 Million Oops Moment! 🙀

Imagine signing one thing and losing $36 million! That’s exactly what happened when a trader fell for a phishing scam and accidentally gave hackers the keys to his kingdom—or wallet, in this case. 🏦🔑

The scammer tricked him into signing a sneaky "permit" signature, allowing them to drain 15,079 Future Wrapped Derivable ETH ($fwDETH) faster than you can say "Oops!" The market? It tanked like a lead balloon, sending $DETH prices into free fall. 🎢

Roffett.eth broke the news, warning other traders to steer clear, especially on DuoExchange. As for the trader? Rumor has it they might be from Continue Capital, but one thing’s clear: that’s one expensive signature! ✍️😬

🤖 Vitalik and Musk discuss the future... but not of crypto! 🌬

Vitalik Buterin, the mastermind behind Ethereum, suddenly decided to ask Elon Musk about the CO2 levels of a fully-loaded Robotaxi. While Musk was probably pondering the question, crypto enthusiasts in the comments had a different request: "Vitalik please think about eth, get us out of the mud. don’t think about CO2 😂" 💨

Meanwhile, Chinese authorities are planning to sell 542,000 ETH, and investor interest in Ethereum is dropping fast. So while Vitalik worries about emissions, crypto folks are worrying about their portfolios! 📉

⚖️ Ripple Strikes Back: SEC vs. Ripple Showdown Continues! ⚡️

Ripple isn't backing down! After the SEC filed its appeal, Ripple hit right back with a cross-appeal. Their Chief Legal Officer, Stuart Alderoty, says they're leaving no stone unturned to ensure victory. He even teased that SEC Chair Gensler is set for another defeat, calling it a "misguided attack" on the crypto industry. 🥊

Ripple CEO Brad Garlinghouse also jumped in, accusing the SEC of creating chaos instead of providing clarity for the US crypto market. He’s confident Ripple will win again, crushing the SEC’s "regulation-by-enforcement" tactics. 🏆

And guess what? XRP’s price jumped 2% right after the news! 🚀 Could Ripple’s legal victories lead to bigger gains for XRP holders?

Suriname's presidential candidate Maya Parbhoo received applause at Bitcoin Amsterdam for her commitment to making Suriname the next Bitcoin nation. 👏

And her fist raised high might just become as viral as Donald Trump’s signature gesture! 👊

🚀 MicroStrategy's Big Bet: Becoming the World's Leading Bitcoin Bank! 🏦

Michael Saylor is back at it, with his sights set on turning MicroStrategy into the ultimate bitcoin bank. 🎯 With 252,220 BTC (worth over $15B) already in the vault, the company now holds 1.2% of all bitcoin! 💰

Saylor’s strategy? Keep stacking BTC, leveraging debt, equity, and convertible assets, all while "lending to bitcoin" for huge returns, without traditional lending risks. 📊

Saylor's endgame? A $300-400 billion company riding the wave of bitcoin's growth — he believes BTC will eventually hit millions per coin! 🌕 His plan? Keep raising capital, keep buying BTC, and sit back as bitcoin becomes the cornerstone of global finance. 📈

It’s simple: either you believe in bitcoin’s future... or you don’t! 😉

🔍 Where Are All the Bitcoins?🧐

Bitwise analysts did some inventory and found that 56.8% of Bitcoin is chilling in personal wallets, waiting for its moment of glory. 💼💎

17.6% are inactive, probably lost in the crypto abyss, 5.2% are tightly controlled by funds, 4.8% are the legendary stash of Satoshi Nakamoto (probably under his mattress 🛌), 3.3% belong to businesses, and 2.4% are held by governments, who apparently decided to hedge their bets on the future. 👨‍💼💼

And the remaining 6.2% of Bitcoin hasn’t even been mined yet! So, if you don’t have any BTC, don’t worry—there’s still some left in the queue! 😅

🚀 Arkham will launch a derivatives exchange in November 2024

Arkham Intelligence, the crypto data startup backed by OpenAI's Sam Altman, is packing its bags and heading to... the Dominican Republic! 🇩🇴 Why? To launch a derivatives exchange next month! 🌐

After ditching London and New York, they’re setting up shop in Punta Cana—because why not mix crypto with beaches and tax breaks? 🏖💼 And guess what? Their token ARKM is already up 19%! 📈

Aiming to rival the likes of Binance (but sorry, USA, not for you), Arkham is hoping to make waves in the $3 trillion crypto derivatives market. Meanwhile, Binance’s share is slipping, so maybe it's time for some island competition? 🌊🏝

Oh, and they’ve even sponsored Turkish football club Galatasaray—because what’s crypto without some football flair? ⚽️💸

🤖 The Great Bitcoin Garbage Hunt 🗑

James Howells, the unlucky IT engineer from Newport, is suing his local council for $647M after accidentally tossing a hard drive containing 8,000 BTC during a 2013 cleanup. Talk about expensive spring cleaning! 😅

Howells has been begging the council for years to let him dig through 110,000 tonnes of trash to recover his fortune, even offering them 10% of the treasure. But the council said, "Nah, we don’t want asbestos-flavored Bitcoin!" 🧪💨

Despite robots, garbage, and grand recovery plans, the council insists: “No digging – too much methane!” 💨🚫 So James heads to court this December, hoping a judge will side with his crypto crusade.

Lesson learned? Keep your hardware wallet out of the trash. 📦

🔓 China “hacks” crypto! Or... did they? 🤔

Chinese scientists claim their quantum computer cracked some cryptographic algorithms, including ones used in crypto and banking. 💻🔑

But don’t panic just yet! Complete crypto domination isn’t happening anytime soon. Plus, back in March 2024, Vitalik already flexed that Ethereum has an update ready to block quantum attacks. 🛡💪

So, no need to dump your bags over cheap FUD – we’ve seen scarier stuff than this! 👊😎

🚀 Bitcoin Smashes $64K, Shorts Get Wrecked! 💥

Bitcoin surged to $64,300, leaving 54,422 traders with over $100M in liquidations! Turns out, betting against BTC wasn’t the smartest move. 🤨

Meanwhile, Mt. Gox delayed its $9B Bitcoin return, calming sell-off fears and giving the market some breathing room. Investors are riding the “Uptober” wave, with Bitcoin gaining in 9 of the last 11 years. 🟢

Even Ethereum joined the party, breaking through $2,500 with bullish vibes all around. Bears are now praying for a miracle as analysts cheer: “The next big rally is already here!” 🐂🙏

🏨 Bitcoin Miner Moves Into a Hotel... and Brings His Mining Rig! 💻💰

One ambitious Bitcoin miner just shared a photo of his hotel room filled with mining machines. Looks like he's planning to pay for his entire stay with some serious BTC action! 😁

This trend isn’t new—savvy miners have been setting up rigs in Airbnb rentals for a while now. One Airbnb host even reported his guests burned through a month's worth of electricity in just 4 days by mining Bitcoin! ⚡️💸

Lesson? If you see someone checking into a hotel with 10 power cords and a suspicious number of fans... they might be mining! 😅

🇺🇸 Trump Effect Sparks Crypto Fund Inflows! 🚀

From October 6 to 12, crypto funds saw inflows of $407M, reversing the $147M outflow from the previous week, according to CoinShares. 📊

Experts say it’s not macroeconomic data or Fed policy driving this shift—it's the growing odds of Trump winning the US presidential race. 🗳 With Trump pulling ahead of Kamala Harris, investors are betting on his pro-crypto stance bringing better days for digital assets. 💸

Looks like the bulls are rooting for Trump! 🐂

📈 Crypto on the Rise, All Eyes on US Macroeconomics! 🇺🇸

The week kicked off with Bitcoin surging 5.20%, hitting $65,820, and altcoins following the upward trend. But the party isn't over yet—key US macro events could shake things up! 🎢

👀 What’s on the radar?

▪️Labor market data: A softening job market could trigger a shift toward crypto.

▪️Retail sales report: A 0.7% MoM increase may signal economic acceleration or a no-landing scenario. 🛬

▪️Industrial production & corporate earnings: Big players like Citi, BoA, and Schwab release earnings soon—strong results might boost both stocks and crypto! 📊

With inflation fears growing and the Fed on edge, this week could bring wild swings across markets. Buckle up, traders! 🚀

🚀 ETH Aiming for $6,000!🤑

According to the latest chart analysis, every time ETH bounces off the lower boundary of its channel, it gains an average of 130%. If this pattern holds (with support at $2,300), the next target could be a fresh $6,000 ATH! 💥

And with BTC creeping back to $66K, these predictions feel extra tempting... 🧪😏

Turns out, Bitcoin is like that friend who shows up 8 weeks late to every trend—it's been tracking the global M2 liquidity chart with a serious delay. 📉➡️📈

So... is the ATH already here, lurking quietly in the room with us? 👀 Maybe. Or maybe it’s just hiding behind the couch, waiting to jump out and yell, “Surprise!” 🎉

🇺🇸 Kamala Discovers Crypto! 🚀

In a surprising twist, Kamala Harris has finally given a nod to cryptocurrencies! 🪙 In her latest program, Point 3 promises to protect crypto investments—but here’s the catch: it only applies to Black Americans as part of a separate initiative. 🤔

Well, it’s not a full moonshot, but hey, progress is progress! Maybe one day we’ll all get a bit of that crypto love. Until then, we’ll take what we can get. 😅

🪙 US Spot Bitcoin ETFs Pull in $556M – Highest Since June! 💰

ETFs just attracted $556M in a single session, their best result since June. 🚀 But here’s the kicker: their strategy seems to be... buy high, sell low. 📉📈

Genius, right? So how exactly are they planning to profit? 🤔 Or are they just here for the fun? 😅

📈 Simple Strategy, Big Profits: $2.8M in 38 Days! 💰

Meet myparagon.eth, the trader who took advantage of the "buy low, sell high" strategy. He grabbed 9050 ETH at $2293 in early September, then cashed out at $2598 between September 30 and October 15 for a cool $2.8M profit. 🚀

No futures, no leverage—just classic trading 101. 🧑‍🏫

But here’s the real question: Does this mean he’s not betting on ETH’s future growth in this cycle? 🤔 Or maybe he’s just playing it safe, waiting to buy the next dip... 🫣

💸 Polkadot Tightens the Purse String! 😅

After getting some community side-eye for wild spending, Polkadot slashed its marketing budget. 💀

In Q2, they earned a humble $250K while burning through $80M (oops). But in Q3, they got thrifty—only spent $27.3M this time. 🫣 Progress, right?

At least they’re moving in the right direction... one budget cut at a time. 🤷‍♂️

🚀 Bitcoin Eyeing $233K by Q1 2025? RSI Says Yes! 🤑

According to Bitcoindata21, BTC is warming up for a rocket ride to $233,000 (or more) by early 2025. They’re using the RSI (Relative Strength Index) to back their claim—historically, when RSI peaks, Bitcoin blows the roof off. 🏠💥

Current RSI levels hint that Bitcoin has plenty of room to grow, with traders pointing out that previous bull runs went from $10K to $67K in just 7 months. Now, with trillions in traditional finance lurking, waiting to FOMO, the next leg up could be legendary. 💸📈

"If you think this time is different... well, good luck with that," quips Bitcoindata21.

Hold on tight—if history repeats, the ride will be epic! 🏎

💥 Fed vs. Bitcoin: Kashkari Calls BTC ‘Worthless'!

Minneapolis Fed President Neel Kashkari isn’t impressed with Bitcoin, calling it a “worthless asset” despite its 12-year track record. Meanwhile, BTC just keeps flexing—up 48% this year and attracting $556M in ETF inflows on October 14 alone! 📈🚀

Even with a rocky Q3, Bitcoin's open interest hit $19.8B, showing traders are still bullish. 🛠 And with Trump promising to make the U.S. a crypto hub (and Kamala joining the crypto-friendly club), Bitcoin’s future could hinge on the 2024 elections. 🗳

Cold wallets are filling up, and CEX reserves are at an all-time low. Looks like investors are in for the long haul—whether Kashkari likes it or not. 😉