A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favour?"

"Of course, child. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.

The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."

Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next!"

A herd of buffalos can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo? 🐃🐃🐃

And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. 🐃🐃🐃🐅

This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only work as fast as the slowest brain cells.

Now, as we know,excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells.

But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of alcohol eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.🌐

And that's why you always feel smarter after a few drinks....,

I went to a Inter-Religion Integration Seminar.

The Bishop came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!”

I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.

The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today!

I was less amused when I told him there was nothing wrong with me.

The Mullah came, took my hands and said, “Insha Allah, you will walk today!”

I snapped at him, “There’s nothing wrong with me”

The Buddhist Monk came, held my hands and said, “By the will of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!”

I rudely told him there was nothing wrong with me.

After the Seminar, I stepped outside and found my car had been stolen.

I believe in all Religions now, equally

quations! -


Equation1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy

Donkey = eat + sleep + work

Therefore:
Human = Donkey + enjoy

Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey

In other words,
A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.


Equation 2
Man = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Man = Donkey + earn money

Therefore:
Man-earn money = Donkey

In other words
Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey

Equation 3

Woman= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Woman = Donkey + spend
Woman - spend = Donkey

In other words,
Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey

To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Man who doesn't earn money = Woman who doesn't spend

So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!
And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!

So, We have:
Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money

Therefore.
from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together, earning and spending!

(Maths people pl check & verify it)

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend . . . if you have one."
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second . . . ,
if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response.