How to win an argument:
1. Have a vagina.
2. That's it.
3. You win.
4. Congratulations
1. Have a vagina.
2. That's it.
3. You win.
4. Congratulations
Forwarded from Daily Jokes
I wonder what chairs think about all day:
"Oh, here comes another asshole"
"Oh, here comes another asshole"
Up-Hill
BY CHRISTINA ROSSETTI
Does the road wind up-hill all the way?
Yes, to the very end.
Will the day’s journey take the whole long day?
From morn to night, my friend.
But is there for the night a resting-place?
A roof for when the slow dark hours begin.
May not the darkness hide it from my face?
You cannot miss that inn.
Shall I meet other wayfarers at night?
Those who have gone before.
Then must I knock, or call when just in sight?
They will not keep you standing at that door.
Shall I find comfort, travel-sore and weak?
Of labour you shall find the sum.
Will there be beds for me and all who seek?
Yea, beds for all who come.
BY CHRISTINA ROSSETTI
Does the road wind up-hill all the way?
Yes, to the very end.
Will the day’s journey take the whole long day?
From morn to night, my friend.
But is there for the night a resting-place?
A roof for when the slow dark hours begin.
May not the darkness hide it from my face?
You cannot miss that inn.
Shall I meet other wayfarers at night?
Those who have gone before.
Then must I knock, or call when just in sight?
They will not keep you standing at that door.
Shall I find comfort, travel-sore and weak?
Of labour you shall find the sum.
Will there be beds for me and all who seek?
Yea, beds for all who come.
Eletelephony
Laura Elizabeth Richards
Once there was an elephant,
Who tried to use the telephant—
No! No! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephone—
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now I’ve got it right.)
Howe’er it was, he got his trunk
Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telephee—
(I fear I’d better drop the song
Of elephop and telephong!)
Laura Elizabeth Richards
Once there was an elephant,
Who tried to use the telephant—
No! No! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephone—
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now I’ve got it right.)
Howe’er it was, he got his trunk
Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telephee—
(I fear I’d better drop the song
Of elephop and telephong!)
The Germ
A mighty creature is the germ,
Though smaller than a pachyderm.
His customary dwelling place
Is deep within the human race.
His childish pride he often pleases
By giving people strange diseases.
Do you, my poppet, feel infirm?
You probably contain a germ.
A mighty creature is the germ,
Though smaller than a pachyderm.
His customary dwelling place
Is deep within the human race.
His childish pride he often pleases
By giving people strange diseases.
Do you, my poppet, feel infirm?
You probably contain a germ.
The Little Things That Happen – Poem by Marjorie Wilson
The Little Things That Happen
Are tucked into your mind,
And come again to greet you
(Or most of them, you’ll find).
Through many little doorways,
Of which you keep the keys,
They crowd into your thinking —
We call them Memories.
But some of them are rovers
And wander off and get
So lost, the keys grow rusty,
And that means — you forget.
But some stay ever near you;
You’ll find they never rove —
The keys are always shining —
Those are the things you love.
The Little Things That Happen
Are tucked into your mind,
And come again to greet you
(Or most of them, you’ll find).
Through many little doorways,
Of which you keep the keys,
They crowd into your thinking —
We call them Memories.
But some of them are rovers
And wander off and get
So lost, the keys grow rusty,
And that means — you forget.
But some stay ever near you;
You’ll find they never rove —
The keys are always shining —
Those are the things you love.