^

Ummm I fell off a dock into the sea does that count

I fell on a rusty hunk of metal, split my leg open to the muscles in two places and had to run along the beach for 10 minutes like this

the decisive factor here is "did mother nature arguably push you?"

Hm, kinda? Water slippy

thats enough

lets goooooo

YAYYYY

GOD CANNOT KILL ME IN A WAY THAT MATTERS
IMMA GO FLOG THE SEA WITH CHAINS OR WHATEVER THAT MF CALIGULA DID

plot twist: our shared, cursed fate is to fund a cult that does this

or something like that