anyway, for today's "trivia nobody asked for" episode, we have the next:

my microwave, which is legally older than i am by like 5 years or so, btw, has two buttons and three "selectors" (one for time, one for potency, and one that sets the microwave on fire and everyone has agreed to never use again, because four incidents are enough i guess). the two buttons are 1-power on, and 2-poweroff/open door

thing is, for most of its life, said microwave has had, for most of its life, a failing "stop MMMMing / give me my food back" button. at first, you had to press it on a corner, and that was it, but then you had to press it more and more deeply and more in more on a corner every time, and while everyone else just uses brute force for it, two or three years ago i decided that i wasnt gonna play that game any longer

so what do i do now?

well, i stab it

this house has three types of kitchen knives: the ones that i would feel cool with giving to a two year old kid to play with, because even a toilet paper roll has sharper edges; the ones that were sharp in the past but you would never guess from their current state, and the ones that my family hasnt found yet but i use to cook, care about, wash by hand, etc.

so, going back to the first type: they are just some metal plates at this point. i have seen spoons sharper than those knives, and that is no exaggeration. so i just grab one of those, and use it to comfortably press the microwave button deeply and in the corner enough, to make it work without any inconvenience. pretty handy.

and since what im stabbing is the "stop working" button, we could say that i regularly stab my microwave to death, i guess? thanks for coming to my tedtalk or whatever.


unrelated to microwaves but i just turned on a computer that i hadnt turned on in probably close to a year, and guessed the password first try. nice.

Oh by the way, if you're in or around Kyiv (or can reasonably get there) and want to receive a cat or a dog from me personally - that can be arranged, as long as you are capable of actually being a good pet owner.

Plus you're going to have to go through the shelter, of course. I don't own the place.

This fucking chonker of a man is looking for a home, for example. He's fucking adorable, but shy. Would get along great with some antisocial snowflake like you lot.

now, everybody knows that the 12 of december is when we all go masks off and reveal that we are channel zir0, the zir0calypse if you will. but i think the time has come to declare the 23 of june eta's takeover day.

i, for one, will forget celebrate it, thanks to the blessing of the "schedule post" functionality, that will remind me that it is a thing. this is not an announcement, this is a warning

also note how telegram just accepts "zir0calypse" as correct grammar