incredibly amusing how im able to turn dialogues into monologues, its one of my special skills
y'all never are able to predict what i will be posting next
sometimes i do post, idk, 40 posts about the same subject on a row, but in the same way that a randm number generator may go 88888888888888888888 sometimes
sometimes i do post, idk, 40 posts about the same subject on a row, but in the same way that a randm number generator may go 88888888888888888888 sometimes
Forwarded from Gob's corner 🌱
when i doubt, just light a fucking candle and stare into it until the existential angst goes away 🌿
anyway, for today's "trivia nobody asked for" episode, we have the next:
my microwave, which is legally older than i am by like 5 years or so, btw, has two buttons and three "selectors" (one for time, one for potency, and one that sets the microwave on fire and everyone has agreed to never use again, because four incidents are enough i guess). the two buttons are 1-power on, and 2-poweroff/open door
thing is, for most of its life, said microwave has had, for most of its life, a failing "stop MMMMing / give me my food back" button. at first, you had to press it on a corner, and that was it, but then you had to press it more and more deeply and more in more on a corner every time, and while everyone else just uses brute force for it, two or three years ago i decided that i wasnt gonna play that game any longer
so what do i do now?
well, i stab it
this house has three types of kitchen knives: the ones that i would feel cool with giving to a two year old kid to play with, because even a toilet paper roll has sharper edges; the ones that were sharp in the past but you would never guess from their current state, and the ones that my family hasnt found yet but i use to cook, care about, wash by hand, etc.
so, going back to the first type: they are just some metal plates at this point. i have seen spoons sharper than those knives, and that is no exaggeration. so i just grab one of those, and use it to comfortably press the microwave button deeply and in the corner enough, to make it work without any inconvenience. pretty handy.
and since what im stabbing is the "stop working" button, we could say that i regularly stab my microwave to death, i guess? thanks for coming to my tedtalk or whatever.
unrelated to microwaves but i just turned on a computer that i hadnt turned on in probably close to a year, and guessed the password first try. nice.
my microwave, which is legally older than i am by like 5 years or so, btw, has two buttons and three "selectors" (one for time, one for potency, and one that sets the microwave on fire and everyone has agreed to never use again, because four incidents are enough i guess). the two buttons are 1-power on, and 2-poweroff/open door
thing is, for most of its life, said microwave has had, for most of its life, a failing "stop MMMMing / give me my food back" button. at first, you had to press it on a corner, and that was it, but then you had to press it more and more deeply and more in more on a corner every time, and while everyone else just uses brute force for it, two or three years ago i decided that i wasnt gonna play that game any longer
so what do i do now?
well, i stab it
this house has three types of kitchen knives: the ones that i would feel cool with giving to a two year old kid to play with, because even a toilet paper roll has sharper edges; the ones that were sharp in the past but you would never guess from their current state, and the ones that my family hasnt found yet but i use to cook, care about, wash by hand, etc.
so, going back to the first type: they are just some metal plates at this point. i have seen spoons sharper than those knives, and that is no exaggeration. so i just grab one of those, and use it to comfortably press the microwave button deeply and in the corner enough, to make it work without any inconvenience. pretty handy.
and since what im stabbing is the "stop working" button, we could say that i regularly stab my microwave to death, i guess? thanks for coming to my tedtalk or whatever.
unrelated to microwaves but i just turned on a computer that i hadnt turned on in probably close to a year, and guessed the password first try. nice.