If you see the same tree twice in a forest, it means you are lost

قل للرياح تأتي كيفما شاءت فما عادت سفينتنا تشتهي شيئا

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I started to think that i’m under a curse of some sort nothing good seems to last more than a moment in my life and the things i work for doesn’t feel that great when they’re actually done, i don’t know if this’s how life is with everyone and we’re all pretending otherwise or its just me.

It was real the things i felt back there were real but the noises and everyone around kept convincing me that i was delusional now that i shut everything down its crystal clear that it wasn’t nothing.

I liked someone then i painted him in my head with the colors that i liked only to find out that i was falling for the picture all along that i forgot it was a real person with his own colors out there.

When shutting your emotions down you’ll feel everything is tasteless like if you’re under the effects of a cold but when getting back to reality everything tastes bitter that you’d be willing to cut your tung just to not taste anything again.

When you decide that you’re done with everything and you want to be alone someone will appear and ruin your plans.

Talking about your feelings with someone might make you feel vulnerable but writing them down feels okay.

They say we create the prison then lock the door on ourselves and just like that we can’t go out unless we find someone or something that can unlock the door back again.

Or maybe we’ll always stay behind the bars of that prison while decorating it to feel cozier ,pretending that it was our choice to create the prison from the beginning?

And maybe we had the key all along but didn’t choose or had the courage to walk out of it as they say.

While in reality none of us even thought of creating the prison because it was always there ,we were going to end up there no matter what and if not in the current one it would be in another. In other words no one chooses to lock themselves up we’re always forced to then brainwashed to think that we always wanted this and it’s our fault somehow and when it comes to getting back out there we can’t decide it cause the door will be open when we’re ready to walk out and what follows is in our hands .

When you feel like doing or saying something go for it unless it hurts someone else.

Confessions are hard when they come from deep ,longtime thinking or when they’re real.

Letting go of someone you loved for a long time is leaving a part of your soul behind.

Come to think of it ,it wasn’t all bad at least i had all the feelings ,fantasies and love for myself and that felt warm even if it was one sided all along.

It’s scary to feel like you need to put yourself back there not sure if you should wait more to be sure it’s all over but really it’s never over ,it’ll be memorable forever the feeling with it will change tho.

In order to make it easier just step outside knowing everything would be possible so no need to over analyze it and what’s important is not to waste something present with a dying memory you’re fooling yourself it’s still alive.

Waiting for a long time to get anything,makes you impatient not otherwise.