im the girl w the sick savior complex

anyways

people who enjoy living life r very annoying to me. i dont think i’ll ever enjoy all the noise.

DEATH TO LOW RISE JEANS

DEATH TO ALL OF THEM

idc if my feet hurt, i do care if my TOE NAILS hurt and im so distressed

the relationship a mentally unstable individual has with their favorite fictional character is one of the purest form of unbounded love in the world.

just saw someone hate on my favorite fc and i am so fucking violent rn like i hope u die i hope everyone u love dies fuck u

u might think i’m /j but im so /srs i’m actually sending so many bad vibes and manifesting so much ill on them.

failing a class because of being “absent” a few times is the most infuriating thing ever. I literally wanna end my shit because it’s not even an important class, I hate it here.

i can’t believe people who prayed on my downfall are winning.

i know the plot, this is a joke, don’t write that essay

listening to my arab playlist

yt oomf on twitter was like “oomf did a face reveal and shes just a basic white girl” GIRL THATS YOUR SISTER IN CAUCASITY.

just because you watch anime, are a fujoshi and have fuck ass bangs does NOT mean you’re not a basic white girl. be serious please.

false alarm im still standing

what do i know of myself? absolutely nothing. i don’t know anything about who i am anymore, i’m not even resembling the person i was a few years ago and that person would’ve hated me so much and they’d probably be right. i try not to do this that often or say it a lot, i try to ignore or not feed into it. i try to remember what was my life before and what it is like now. but still, even without the comparison, i don’t know who i am but i know i’m not happy w it. i don’t like this person.

im so scared and terrified and lonely at all times. so i tried finding solace and community in something, i tried distracting myself and finding an outlet for my creativity and thoughts and jokes, with people who found me amusing or nice. but i’m still hurting and i’m very scared of the days and my comfort has turned into a weapon and i hate myself for it. i hate myself and idek what i’ve done to blame myself. its very confusing, isn’t it?

a few days ago i was thinking of how my friends right now, or the people i would call friends at this stage of my life will probably not be with me in a couple years. that our friendship is temporary as long as we share the same interests and therefore understand each other’s language. and i was making my peace with it, remembering a tumblr post that said anything is temporary and thats fine and you can just live in the moment because thats the way life is. people come and go. but i’ve never been good with letting go. i hoard things and emotions and information like i wish i could hoard people. keep them in my life even when they hurt me, keep myself bruised as long as i’m not supposed to go forward alone. i don’t know what to do about all of this. i don’t think i’ll ever know.

after nearly two decades on this planet i still have no clue when am i having a panic attack and what the hell to do about it.