its snowing so it’s the perfect time to just sleep and sleep and sleep

2 year plan:

if economy gets better, move to europe and become a silversmith
if economy gets worse, kill self
if scared to kill self, start a podcast about rock music history

reading up on how iraj mirza went back in the closet because he wanted to be a true patriot

is everyone dumb as rocks

vienna waits for you but for me its actually taksim square, istanbul

i wish i could sleep off being mentally ill

travis kelce LOSER forever and ever amen

me and the beautiful lesbian i pulled by being autistic and emotionally unavailable

guysssssssss when will the sense of dread enddddd

oh my fucking god i need to stop being suicidal

maybe my next hyperfixation will be finding god

i have a stalker on twitter that has my notifs turned on its so awesome

haven’t left the house in any meaningful way in a week

out in the world rn and i forgot my fucking cigarettes like whats the point even

when the snapp driver is talking about the traffic but im listening to ABBA’s discography so i just smile and nod

one moment you’re 18 and smoking weed in a deserted alley next moment you’re 22 and googling “how to be more present in my life and relationship to my closed ones”

grounding techniques:

name 5 textures that are bothering you right now
name 4 sounds that are overwhelming you
name 3 body parts that feel numb and non existent
name 2 thoughts you keep having on repeat
and name 1 suicide method that seems to be the most enticing one at this moment

trying to not be that one friend thats too woke bcs I need to get a job in this industry but my god I hate all of these pseudo sex offenders

i should start my own clothing line for perverted virgins

i suspect paranoia runs in my family but the grandma i thought might have it is already dead so i can’t ask her