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Dear frands ,

How was the paper ??

Kindly give us feed back , real raw and from the heart

Guys , I want to tell some truth about my life and this group

Basically I am a 2020 batch passout , never really qualified for upsc cms

I gave upsc 2025 and written was cleared but I am from a state which has 2 years bond so no point in giving interview and all because I won't get the job ultimately

Internship was super hectic like straight up duties for 32 hours , so I couldn't prepare much ( still my fault , I could've done better )

This channel was created during psm posting , and I was pretending to be a guy who has cracked it and it was at a experimental level and all that

But now the real situation is that I have lost it all , after internship I joined a private hospital for 40k , did for 2 months may and June then from July rural bond is going on

Deviated from the track of course
And deviated so hard that now I am standing at 90-100 correct only

This year I didn't even Appeared for inicet may 2026 , filled the neet pg form because mummy was insisting on it so much

Right now I am getting 57k salary , just turned 27 , daily I get a feeling that I am going to be poor for whole of my life

This channel was created so that I can build a platform around upsc cms and build a product , which I can profit from , it failed horribly

Similarily I had built 2 other startups but due to lack of funding and guidance those 2 too dried up

3 drops , State gmc , general cat non ews , 1st gen , bond , aging parents , unwed sister , all these feels very hard but I have Seen people of my age dying on ventilator....so some time I feel good but whenever I compare wih my friends in it sector with 24lpa in banglore , I again get sad ,


Medicine doesn't respects us , only for 2nd generation guys

Reaching 2 Lpm feels like a distant dream

But , but ,but

I have a iron will , now I gave decided to play the last bet of my life

270 days for inicet may 2027 ,

I want to get into mch neurosurgery nimhans direct 6 yrs course , that needs <100 rank , I don't know whether it is possible or not but I will literally burn my soul for it , I will kill my old self and create a new one

So all the 1k members of this group thank-you for believing in a novice like me

I will post whatever happens in my life over here , to keep an accountability and I hope u see my ups and downs in my life and can co relate with it

Let's see what happens

Thank-you for reading , and sorry that I was not who you all thought to be ,

Starting from tomorrow

Till I get into nimhans

270 days

Let's go

Day 270th
28/8/26 - wednesday

12 - 8 sleeping 😴

8 - 12 pm biochemistry lecture watching ( from cerebellum qrp 2.0 ) Total 4 lectures , I watched 2 lectures

12 - 4 pm time passed on youtube and instagram random reels

4pm - 8pm - revised biochemistry lectures

8 - 9 pm - dinner

9 pm - 12 am - time passed on reddit

Total effective study hours - 8 hrs
Total MCQ solved - 00

Day 269
27/8/26 - Thursday

12 - 8 am sleeping 😴

8 - 12 pm biochemistry lecture watching ( from cerebellum qrp 2.0 ) , I could only watch 1 lecture , felt fatigued af so I revised the notes of lecture 1 , 2 , 3

I am watching it on telegram leaked group 👀

12 - 3 pm - watched some interesting videos on neuromodulation

3 pm - 6pm - started anatomy - studied cranial nerve column, 3rd 4th and 6th nerve pathway

6 - 8pm - sat with mummy and papa for some random family talks 😅

8 - 9 pm - dinner

9 pm - 12 am - FMT revision ( from core btr )

Total effective study hours - 10 hrs
MCQ solved - 00

Day 268th
27/8/26 - Friday

12 - 7 am sleeping 😴

7 - 9 am Rakhi celebrations

9 - 9 am next day ( Emergency duty )

So basically other Mo we on holiday so it was my emergency

As expected , people getting drunk 🥴, coming with head injury , lacerations near the orbit , lip etc multiple lacerations over limbs , Abrasions

Around 13 cases , some were admitted and given basic fluid resuscitations , suturing , dressing , prescription, you know the drill

3 mlc , Assault

1 open fracture gustillo Anderson 3a ? , x ray tech not there and orthopedics consultation required so sent to higher center , basic ns , pantop , diclo , tranexa , tramadol and wound cleaning and limb immobilization

2 patients of diarrhoea , vomiting, severe dehydration

4 pedia patients with cough cold and runny nose

2 multipara ( tbh sister ji , I didn't like obg from start 🥲 I was just there for pedia call and early Newborn Care kind of)

3 scorpion bite

2 unknown bite ( kept in observation for 12 hrs , wbct clotted , no signs of envenomation , sent home )

5 cough cold

Yeah so basically that was it

Whenever I was going to study in Duty room , call came by sister ji , sir Patient came , please attend , so all in all

Net effective study hours 00
No of mcq solved 00

Day 267th
29/8/26 - Saturday

12 - 4 am - was busy in emergency

4 - 8 am - got some sleep

8 - 9 am went home by scooty

9 - 10 am - basic daily routine

10 - 11 am - breakfast

11 - 1 pm - after carb loading , felt sleepy and took a nap

1 - 6 pm - travelling to my test city via bus , bought some alcohol ( antiquity 250 ml ) and 50rs cannabis pudiya

6 - 8 pm - intoxicating my body with alcohol and weed and around 5 cigarettes

8 - 9 pm - dinner

9 - 11 pm - reminiscing about my life decisions that brought me here , about what I am gonna do next , listening to some travis scott , playboi carti instrumentals

Then I fell asleep

Net effective study hours - 00
No. of mcq solved - 00

Day 266th
30/8/26 - Sunday

12 - 7 am - slept like a baby , woke up to drizzling out side my room

7 - 8 am - booked rapido and went to exam center

8 - 1.5 pm - checking in , giving neet pg , then coming out of exam hall

1.5 - 3 pm - went back to my hotel room and had lunch

3 - 5 pm - watched recall sessions

5 - 8.5 pm - went back to my home while watching recall session on bus

8.5 - 10 pm - bath , dinner and talk with family

10 - 12 pm - watching recalls again to realize that , the teachers are getting missing pyq and they are even not giving the same answers so what is the point of distressing yourself so much

Net effective study hours - 4hrs
No. Of mcq solved- 200