feeling disgusting and undesirable in my body and my mind and ive been sad continuously for 2 days and on top of everything i do not want to study anymore and what the fuck i feel so small like a pollen or something

And I miss you, like autumn leaves falling down when the trees are half-dead, like birds singing as the first rays of sunshine hit the earth, like trying my best to capture running water between my hands when I was a child, like evenings reflecting my loneliness back to me like some mirror glowing in the distance, like sending smoke signals on a deserted island, like knitting gloves to your hands' measurements and not being able to even wear them now that I can't send them to you, like walking the length of a city and still feeling the emptiness where your place should've been, like finding silence excruciating, like staring at the ceiling for hours, like the sight of my own written words making me sick, like... like nothing. I just miss you.

damn my FUCKING LIFEEEEEE

the audacity of men will never cease to amaze me

i honestly want to die

how low can people be thinking of me

it's all my own fault as well

otherwise why

i think i dont want to have a channel anymore

instead of posting things on here about a specific person i want to try and say it directly to them

i will try writing down my feelings on a paper

or do nothing about anything at all. i think i just need to free myself from the imaginary audience in my head.

i will feel lonely. but i already do

thank u all ;) for being on here for some time

byee