Ask for advice
People love giving advice. So, start your small talk with a request for advice: ‘I want to buy a smartphone [or a cocktail or a book], but I can’t decide which one.’ Most people will happily open up. Then thank them for the tip and the other person will feel like a fireman who has successfully extinguished a fire. The psychology behind this: if you ask for advice, you create intimacy; intimacy makes rejection difficult. Therefore, if you want to influence someone, it is a good idea to ask that person for advice first.

Ask a second question
We often ask something and then wait for the other person to ask something back. This is not a conversation. Instead, use the old reporter trick and ask a second question. If you just asked ‘Where did you grow up?’, then a good follow-up question might be: ‘How has that place shaped you?’

The highest form of wealth is the ability to wake up every morning and say, “I can do whatever I want today.”

People want to become wealthier to make them happier. Happiness is a complicated subject because everyone’s different. But if there’s a common denominator in happiness—a universal fuel of joy—it’s that people want to control their lives.

The ability to do what you want, when you want, with who you want, for as long as you want, is priceless. It is the highest dividend money pays.

The mind without pauses is like a cluttered desk — no space to work, no room to breathe.
Stillness doesn’t throw everything away. It clears a little space so you can see what actually matters.

With even a little mental clarity, the impossible feels manageable.
The loud becomes softer.
The messy feels organised.
And sometimes, the question that haunted you finds its answer in the quiet.

Stillness is not wasting time — it is reclaiming it.

In any negotiation, neither side can see the whole picture. You know the cards you hold and the terms you are willing to accept. At the same time, you have no clear view of your opponent’s cards or the concessions they may be prepared to make.

This uncertainty makes negotiation similar to poker, a game in which part of the information is always hidden. A negotiator, like a poker player, tries to deduce the opponent’s hand by interpreting their moves rather than relying on complete knowledge.

As with any game of imperfect information, success depends heavily on position at the table.

Most of the time, we don’t consciously notice the thoughts that pass through our minds or realise the extent to which they shape our reality. The more deeply embedded these beliefs become, the harder they feel to challenge. You may begin to believe that “this is just who I am,” rather than recognising these beliefs as learned patterns — and, more importantly, patterns that can be unlearned.

Our beliefs determine how we perceive situations, how we interpret events, and ultimately how we define ourselves. They become self-fulfilling prophecies, for better or for worse.

That’s why I like to live like I’m immortal. Because when you live forever . . .

You have all the time in the world to build something.
You can make mistakes and learn from them.
There’s no pressure to make things happen fast.
You treat people with respect because other people will also be around forever.

This small tweak in my mindset has helped me to take a different view on life. I’m not afraid to look 10 or 20 years ahead. That helps me to make better decisions TODAY. For example, I’d rather save my money or invest it instead of spending it because I know that “future Darius” will benefit from that.

People fear cocaine, heroin, and drugs.
But not alcohol.

And yet…

Alcohol kills 3 million people every year (WHO data)
More than 200 diseases are caused or worsened by alcohol
Alcohol is the leading cause of liver failure and cancer
Alcohol destroys more families than any drug

Even worse:

Alcohol is the only drug that people pressure you to take.

Nobody will ever say:
“Come on, have some heroin. Be a sport.”

Inadequate sleep—even moderate reductions for just one week—disrupts blood sugar levels so profoundly that you would be classified as pre-diabetic. Short sleeping increases the likelihood of your coronary arteries becoming blocked and brittle, setting you on a path toward cardiovascular disease, stroke, and congestive heart failure.

Fitting Charlotte Brontë’s prophetic wisdom that “a ruffled mind makes a restless pillow,” sleep disruption further contributes to all major psychiatric conditions, including depression, anxiety, and suicidality.

Our perception of reality is very real. We will feel what we think, and our feelings are real — that is completely undeniable. However, our thinking can look like an inevitable, unchangeable reality until we begin to see how our reality is created.

If we know that we can only ever feel what we are thinking, then we know that we can change our feelings by changing our thinking. In this way, we can change our experience of life by knowing that it comes from our own thinking.

1. Obsessively read books.
2. Pursue new mental models.
3. Enjoy intelligent discourse.
4. Quickly admit when they’re wrong.
5. Are comfortable changing their opinion.
6. Surround themselves with intelligence.
7. Seek to understand every perspective on a topic.

Thoughts are the energetic, mental raw materials from which we use to create everything in the world. We can’t experience anything without thought. It’s important to know that thoughts are nouns and aren’t something that we do, but something we have. A thought takes no effort or force on our end, and it is something that just happens. We also cannot control what thoughts pop into our minds. The source of thoughts comes from something that is beyond our minds—the Universe, if you will.

Thinking, on the other hand, is the act of thinking about our thoughts. This takes a significant amount of energy, effort, and willpower (which is a finite resource). Thinking is actively engaging with the thoughts in your mind. You don’t have to engage with each thought in your mind, but when you do, that is thinking.

Thinking is the root cause of all our psychological suffering.

Now you might be wondering, where do positive thoughts fit into the picture? Positive thoughts, or thoughts that feel good, are not a result of thinking. They are, instead, generated by our natural state of peace, love, and joy. They are a byproduct of a state of being, not a state of thinking. We will go into depth about this in the next chapter.

Choice is creation.
To choose is to create.
Through my choices I create my reality.

At every moment in my life I have a choice.
Moments add up to a lifetime; choices add up to a life.

What kind of life do I want for myself?
What choices will create this kind of life?

If your time had passed, you would have passed away too. The fact that you are here, your time to make IT happen is still here too. Whoever you believe is sitting up in heaven won’t call you back until you DO the work that you feel inspired to do.

You have time. The only time you lose is when you feel scared of running out of it instead of using it to go after what ignites your soul.