❔Question: Would you rather wake up after a wild party naked in the middle of the city or handcuffed to a stranger in a mysterious location with no memory of how you got there?

I (31F) tell people I’m allergic to alcohol. I’m not.

There’s no rash, no swelling, no ER visit. But the reaction is real, just not physical.

When I drink, I become someone else. Not in a fun, party-animal way. In a dark, reckless, “I might not make it home” kind of way. It’s like my brain turns off the second the alcohol hits my bloodstream and some ancient hurt takes the wheel.

I’ve woken up in strangers’ beds not remembering how I got there. I’ve walked down freeways at 3AM. I’ve sobbed in public bathrooms while texting people who blocked me years ago. I’ve been taken advantage of more than once and convinced myself I deserved it because “well, I was drunk.”

So I stopped. Cold turkey, two years ago. But I hated the conversations it brought up. The questions. The pity. The “oh come on, just one drink.” So now I just say I’m allergic. No one argues with allergies.

Sometimes I miss it. I miss the warmth in my chest, the confidence, the fake joy. But I don’t miss the danger. I don’t miss the shame.

I still go to bars. I still order cranberry soda with lime and pretend it’s a cocktail. I still laugh along when people say, “God, I’d die without wine.”

And inside I think, I nearly did.

I (F) and him met online through similar trauma discussion.
Started texting everyday and sharing our lives' highs and lows.
Met on video calls, audio calls.
At that period of time, I was struggling mentally so he was there for me all the time more than I was there for him.
I didn't pay attention to red flags like, demeaning language when they were mad towards other people in our lives. And they saved my first snap where I had my picture (face) and that of nature too. Is that normal?

Later when I asked them to remove, they did. Later on, I said I wanted to limit contact due to personal reasons, they were not happy with that and cried. We spoke later but not often like before.

One day, out of nowhere, they were forcing me to send videos of me working on self improvement. Their argument was they wanted to see me improve. But I said I never agreed to it and was uncomfortable. Slowly it turned toxic, everytime I ask them to apologize, it would turn to him gaslighting, manipulating me and such. Last time, he tried forcing me to leave by using harsh tone. I was attached emotionally so it was hard for me to just leave. Later they said they realized what they did.

After months of him apologizing but saying its my fault and such, I finally had enough. I used direct and to the point lines instead of people pleasing and when I confronted without any 'I hope you don't feel bad ' type of lines, they said they finally understand what they did and all. I wasn't having all that now since they broke my trust a long back. How should I trust they won't take their words back like before. They said what they did was wrong and started telling me what could have caused it. For months, I reached out to them every time they mess up, sometimes I get, I thought of messaging you or not even that at times. Recently, I get ' I thought of genuinely apologize to you ' after I reached out for the millionth time. I had enough and completely erased their contacts to completely distance myself. While I was about to leave, they said they ruined everything and said if I ever decide to come back, it would be an honor. What do I do? Did I just leave when they finally got it? I feel sad.

Want to mention the last time they said they now totally understand, they did not say it's my fault after apologizing. I feel miserable that my standards are falling apart. I don't know what to do? He messed my head up over the last few months and I feel so alone and miserable yet I kept asking him to take accountability and finally he said he understands what he did and how bad it is. I feel like he actually got it but I know he will take time to change. Everytime I think about it, I'm speechless.

Actually I am assuming he knows what he did from the start but couldn't apologize sincerely. And wanted me to move on, when I wasn't having that, it turned sour. Part of me wants to keep him in my contacts but I know currently I should not even look in his way. It's unhealthy for me. What should I do? It feels embarrassing to me that I trusted a stranger and literally showed him my face and pictures. He did that too but I didn't betrayed him like he did. I feel betrayed, lost, hurt, alone and mad. Should I give him a second chance?

If there was someone who could read me like I read everyone and understand them
they'd go insane.
Not because I'm too much,
but because I carry too much.
Too many thoughts running at once,
too many feelings layered under things I never say.
It's not just about emotions - it's about depth.
About how I sense what people are trying to hide, how I catch the tremble in their voice when they lie, how I feel the guilt, the anger, the sorrow even when it’s unspoken.

People call it a gift. They say I’m “emotionally intelligent” like it's a superpower. But to me, it’s a curse.
Because I don’t want to know sometimes. I don't want to carry someone else’s pain when I can barely hold my own. I don't want to see through the masks people wear,
because when I do, I can't unsee it. And it stays. It settles in my chest like it's mine.

It’s like bleeding for wounds that aren't even on your skin.
It drains you. It makes you tired in places sleep can't reach.

I wish I could turn it off.. this way of feeling too much.
But I can’t.
And maybe that’s what hurts the most

Lately I have been lacking in the ME department FR, I have been neglecting myself for my gf. She isn't demanding it, it is more so, me making it about her her her. I was on Groupon a few moments ago and saw an archery class, and I saw there were multiple options for this archery class, especially a cool package for two. Internally I asked myself if my GF would like it and something from the back of my mind SCREAMED "fuck that, book it for yourself!"

I love my GF don't get me wrong, but I have always preached keep up with yourself in a relationship. I had almost let that escape me.

I'm excited, im going Sunday.

You removed me from messaging you. You have BPD. You were a good friend, and I appreciate you reaching out to me. I hope nothing but the best for you. You were the only girl I could tell my feelings about and my personal issues. If you are reading this, I’m sorry. I hope you have a wonderful life.

I make self-deprecation an art form, it's like my own personal masterpiece... except it's probably hanging in the discount bin.

I (25F) love my best friend. She’s amazing. But her boyfriend is… not it. He’s controlling, belittles her in front of people, constantly makes “jokes” at her expense. She says he’s “just like that,” but I can see she’s smaller when he’s around.

Every time they fight, every time she says “I think I’m done,” my heart leaps. I imagine us celebrating her finally being free of him. But she never leaves. She always forgives him.

I feel like a bad person for hoping her relationship fails. But I just want her to see what we all see.

Ah, the joys of saving the world while everyone else tries to keep up with my brilliance.

I always strive to make a good first impression. That way, people are even more disappointed when they get to know me.

Started gambling on 1xBet in June 2024. Won ₹1 lakh, then lost over ₹50+ lakhs including savings, credit cards, loans, and even my family’s FDs. Now I'm buried in EMIs (~₹1.5 lakh/month) with no income while doing MTech at NIT. Out of desperation, I even sent a fake death certificate to avoid recovery calls.

📅 Timeline of How My Life Went Downhill
June 2024: The Beginning
Started playing 1xBet casually.

Won ₹1 lakh early on.

Got addicted fast.

Shortly After: The Fall Begins
Lost ₹2 lakh in a single sitting.

I still had ₹4–5 lakh personal savings — lost all of it in one night.

Mid-2024: Debt Spiral
Used credit cards (₹10 lakh total limit) — maxed them all.

Took out loans worth ₹15 lakh from banks and NBFCs.

I avoided CIBIL reporting initially to keep borrowing.

Next 2 Months: Chasing Losses
Lost everything again trying to recover.

Out of panic and obsession, broke family FDs worth ₹30 lakh.

Continued gambling and lost that too.

Feb 2025: Reality Hits Hard
Family found out — but couldn’t help, the amount was too massive.

₹1.5 lakh/month EMIs started piling up.

No income, just doing MTech from NIT.

Harassment and recovery calls started.

Out of desperation, I sent a fake death certificate to stop the calls.

💔 Where I Stand Now
Over ₹50 lakh in debt (loans, credit, FDs lost).

No job, no income, just surviving while doing MTech.

Constant anxiety, shame, and hopelessness.

Lost family’s trust and security.

Legally and ethically in deep trouble due to that death certificate.

🙏 What I’ve Learned (The Hard Way)
Gambling is a trap — it never pays off.

Hiding things and taking on more loans only makes it worse.

Once you lose credibility (financial + personal), it’s very hard to rebuild.

You can't lie your way out of debt. It always catches up.

🔄 What I’m Trying to Do Now
Finish MTech and look for any kind of job.

Thinking of approaching a debt counselor or legal advisor.

Might have to declare insolvency or bankruptcy — still exploring.

Trying to stay alive and sane, one day at a time.

💬 If you're reading this…
If you're even thinking about gambling — just don’t. It’s not worth the pain.

If you're already in the trap — talk to someone. Don’t go deeper. Don’t take more loans. Don’t lie to your family.

Your future matters more than a short thrill.

I miss my dog.
Had her for fifteen years .
She died last year in September.
She had a seizure.i took her to the vet.
She seemed calmer.i went out to check on her in her room around 1am and she was dead.
Seeing her lifeless body broke me.i was going through a lot emotionally when she passed so I couldn't grieve properly.
Every time I think of her my chest hurts and I regret all the times I didn't take a few extra minutes to play with her

I could totally be a motivational speaker... as long as the motivation is to nap more and avoid all responsibility.

I cannot figure out how to word this title better to explain what happened, but bear with me. I'll make it short, I hope.

We're both in our 20s, both women, I'm new-ish to the company and she's not. She's my work bestie, I'm probably not hers but maybe close to it. We get along well and always chat and laugh at work. No idea if she likes women too and I'm not romantically attracted to her, but today made me feel a way I hadn't felt before...

She was in a meeting, I was sitting a couple yards away doing something else. I heard my name get mentioned, and then out of nowhere she just *pulled* my wheelie chair right next to hers so I could wave to the camera. Like, just aggressively but playfully yanked me over while I was in the middle of doing something, and just pointed at the screen. I laughed, waved to the person, and went back to my desk.

Right after it happened, I could not focus anymore. That small interaction gave me butterflies and I felt so giddy. Sure, it was a friendly funny thing, but it felt so?? I don't know how to describe it ughh. Maybe I just yearn to be thrown around by someone, I don't know.

It's been hours since then and I can't stop thinking about it.

Not after advice, it was probably just a playful friendly thing given that we're both girls. I just really badly needed to put this into writing somewhere. It's been killing me not being able to express these feelings to someone.

I have had crushes on multiple older guys but would never actually get with one. The fact that I have romantic feelings towards them tho makes me feel weird as the people who I hang around with see it as something disgusting. None of them knows I'm like this and I just feel like the odd one out.

Im tired of the silence in my room so i escape it by enjoying the silence from my backyard i spend hours their just to escape listening to that ceiling fan in my room im chopped as shit and fat and got like no friends

So I have DID (used to be called multiple personality disorder), and I had this friend. Things were going great between us — we got along really well and even liked each other. At some point, we started opening up and sharing secrets. When I told her about my condition, she didn’t judge me or push me away. She actually took the time to get to know the others, and everything seemed fine.

But then, one of them ended up telling her something real — a truth she didn’t know about. I didn’t expect it, and I don’t think she did either. Now she’s hurt, she’s been crying, and she blocked me. I’ve just been sitting with this feeling like I messed everything up. I feel like a complete screw-up today.