I subconsciously had such doubts. I had been following Ellen for too long, getting to know just how absurd she was, so I’d subconsciously believed that I could never achieve what she could.
我下意识地有这样的疑惑。我关注艾伦太久了，知道她有多荒谬，所以我下意识地认为我永远无法实现她所能做到的。
I had to eliminate that subconscious doubt.
我必须消除这种潜意识的怀疑。
I had to have complete conviction of my absolute victory.
我必须完全相信我的绝对胜利。
我下意识地有这样的疑惑。我关注艾伦太久了，知道她有多荒谬，所以我下意识地认为我永远无法实现她所能做到的。
I had to eliminate that subconscious doubt.
我必须消除这种潜意识的怀疑。
I had to have complete conviction of my absolute victory.
我必须完全相信我的绝对胜利。
While he didn’t say such things there in Temple’s general headquarters, what he meant to say was “What rules are you ranting about when Temple never even followed article one, paragraph one?”
虽然他没有在坦普尔的总司令部说这样的话，但他想说的是：“当坦普尔甚至从未遵守第一条第一段时，你在咆哮什么规则？
Those words seemed to make both the Orbis Class’ teachers and the faculty members of the headquarters as well as the Royal Class teachers uncomfortable. However, Mr. Epinhauser was completely calm.
这句话似乎让奥比斯班的老师和总部的教职员工以及皇家班的老师都感到不舒服。然而，Epinhauser先生完全冷静。
“The purpose should come first, not the rule.”
“目的应该是第一位的，而不是规则。”
“Temple’s purpose is nurturing talented people to allow them to contribute to the Empire’s society and elevate the value of mankind as a whole—that was the purpose behind the establishment of Temple.”
“坦普尔的目的是培养人才，让他们为帝国社会做出贡献，提升整个人类的价值——这就是建立坦普尔的目的。
虽然他没有在坦普尔的总司令部说这样的话，但他想说的是：“当坦普尔甚至从未遵守第一条第一段时，你在咆哮什么规则？
Those words seemed to make both the Orbis Class’ teachers and the faculty members of the headquarters as well as the Royal Class teachers uncomfortable. However, Mr. Epinhauser was completely calm.
这句话似乎让奥比斯班的老师和总部的教职员工以及皇家班的老师都感到不舒服。然而，Epinhauser先生完全冷静。
“The purpose should come first, not the rule.”
“目的应该是第一位的，而不是规则。”
“Temple’s purpose is nurturing talented people to allow them to contribute to the Empire’s society and elevate the value of mankind as a whole—that was the purpose behind the establishment of Temple.”
“坦普尔的目的是培养人才，让他们为帝国社会做出贡献，提升整个人类的价值——这就是建立坦普尔的目的。
“The school rules are only meant to support that purpose, and if they are consistent with said purpose, then they are only secondary—that is what I think.”
“学校的规则只是为了支持这个目的，如果它们与上述目的一致，那么它们只是次要的——这就是我的想法。
“学校的规则只是为了支持这个目的，如果它们与上述目的一致，那么它们只是次要的——这就是我的想法。
I didn’t like those guys filled to the brim with positive energy. Instead, I liked Mr. Epinhauser.
我不喜欢那些充满正能量的家伙。相反，我喜欢Epinhauser先生。
我不喜欢那些充满正能量的家伙。相反，我喜欢Epinhauser先生。
I couldn’t convince those high school club guys that they were the only ones who could create things like that.
我无法说服那些高中俱乐部的家伙，他们是唯一能创造出这样东西的人。
我无法说服那些高中俱乐部的家伙，他们是唯一能创造出这样东西的人。
The way I set things up, the kids would get stronger on their own, even without me.
按照我的设置方式，即使没有我，孩子们也会自己变得更强壮。
按照我的设置方式，即使没有我，孩子们也会自己变得更强壮。
Wasn’t that a bit too harsh?
是不是有点太苛刻了？
No one made fun of me because they knew that I had been busy with a lot of things in addition to getting seriously hurt.
没有人取笑我，因为他们知道我除了受重伤之外，还忙于很多事情。
No… 不。。。
Still, getting last place was a bit…
不过，获得最后一名还是有点......
I knew that all of them were thinking something similar judging by their expressions.
我知道，从他们的表情来看，他们都在想类似的事情。
But so what? 但那又怎样？
I believed that getting achievement points was more important. Anyway, an achievement was an achievement.
我认为获得成就点更重要。无论如何，成就就是成就。
* * *
是不是有点太苛刻了？
No one made fun of me because they knew that I had been busy with a lot of things in addition to getting seriously hurt.
没有人取笑我，因为他们知道我除了受重伤之外，还忙于很多事情。
No… 不。。。
Still, getting last place was a bit…
不过，获得最后一名还是有点......
I knew that all of them were thinking something similar judging by their expressions.
我知道，从他们的表情来看，他们都在想类似的事情。
But so what? 但那又怎样？
I believed that getting achievement points was more important. Anyway, an achievement was an achievement.
我认为获得成就点更重要。无论如何，成就就是成就。
* * *
Every time I went through those things, I felt how uncreative I had been.
每次我经历这些事情时，我都觉得自己是多么缺乏创造力。
* * *
每次我经历这些事情时，我都觉得自己是多么缺乏创造力。
* * *
Suddenly, both I and Ellen were rolling that snowball.
突然间，我和艾伦都在滚雪球。
If someone saw me like that, it would seriously damage Reinhardt’s dignity.
如果有人这样看我，那会严重损害莱因哈特的尊严。
However, I thought that if I started to pay attention to such banal things, that would mean that things had already gone awry, so I just focused on making the snowball even more.
但是，我认为如果我开始关注这些平庸的事情，那就意味着事情已经出了问题，所以我只是专注于让雪球变得更像。
突然间，我和艾伦都在滚雪球。
If someone saw me like that, it would seriously damage Reinhardt’s dignity.
如果有人这样看我，那会严重损害莱因哈特的尊严。
However, I thought that if I started to pay attention to such banal things, that would mean that things had already gone awry, so I just focused on making the snowball even more.
但是，我认为如果我开始关注这些平庸的事情，那就意味着事情已经出了问题，所以我只是专注于让雪球变得更像。
“You don't idolize me, you don't worship me, you don't force me or want me to act a certain way. You just take me for who I am."
“你不崇拜我，你不崇拜我，你不强迫我或希望我以某种方式行事。你只是把我当成我。
“你不崇拜我，你不崇拜我，你不强迫我或希望我以某种方式行事。你只是把我当成我。
It didn’t give me any power, but that was just the nature of belief, wasn’t it?