这不是跟社会制度一样

我不知道奥斯卡·德·加迪亚斯是对还是错。

“If that’s what you think, then just live that way, you bastard. Don’t make these kids live as harshly as you.”
“如果你是这么想的，那就这样生活吧，你这个混蛋。不要让这些孩子像你一样过得那么苛刻。

One couldn’t force others to put a disproportionate amount of effort into something by making them feel like sinners as well.
一个人不能强迫别人在某件事上付出不成比例的努力，让他们也觉得自己是罪人。

He was a madman who was trying to drag everyone around him into the same hell, knowing that he could never get what he wanted no matter how much effort he put in.
他是一个疯子，试图将他周围的每个人都拖入同一个地狱，因为他知道无论他付出多少努力，他都永远无法得到他想要的东西

“That’s just the kind of bastard you are. Yeah, environment and shit like that isn’t important, it’s what you’re born with. Just like talent determines a person, you were also born with a talent.”
“你就是这样的混蛋。是的，环境和狗屎并不重要，这是你与生俱来的。就像天赋决定一个人一样，你也是天生的天赋。

“…” "..."

“You were just born to be a fucking bastard. You’re a coward, you’re mean, you’re not willing to get your own hands dirty. Rather than getting rid of problems, you’re just a punk who lives with and thrives through them. And then you blame it on your environment. You feel fucking sorry for yourself because you don’t have a Talent. And then, after you feel bored from tormenting yourself, you get your second-hand satisfaction from bullying others. You enjoy yourself by making others feel miserable. You’re such a fucked up little piece of shit who just wants to see the misery you see in yourself in others as well.”
“你天生就是个该死的混蛋。你是个懦夫，你很卑鄙，你不愿意弄脏自己的手。与其摆脱问题，不如说你只是一个与问题一起生活并在其中茁壮成长的朋克。然后你把它归咎于你的环境。你他妈的为自己感到难过，因为你没有天赋。然后，在你因折磨自己而感到无聊之后，你会从欺负他人中获得二手满足感。你通过让别人感到痛苦来享受自己。你真是个该死的小家伙，只想看到你在别人身上看到的痛苦。

However, there I was, simply continuing to speak even though I was getting beat up in a fight I had no chance of winning.
然而，我就在那里，即使我在一场没有机会获胜的战斗中被殴打，我也会继续说话。

It wasn’t like I had matured, saying things like I should ignore it just because my life wasn’t on the line.
这并不是说我已经成熟了，说我应该忽略它，只是因为我的生命没有受到威胁。

I completely forgot what the basis of my power was. As I continued to use that supernatural ability, I ended up forgetting the essence of it.
我完全忘记了我力量的基础是什么。当我继续使用这种超自然能力时，我最终忘记了它的本质。

Of course, I wouldn’t be able to win a fight I already thought I was going to lose.
当然，我无法赢得一场我已经认为我会输掉的战斗。

I had to fight while believing that I could win. Even if I couldn’t win, I still had to believe I could.
我必须战斗，同时相信我能赢。即使我赢不了，我仍然必须相信我能赢。

I had been stuck ever since I’d come back from the Darklands. It didn’t matter whether I obtained Tiamata or not, my mind itself was stagnant.
自从我从黑暗之地回来后，我就一直被困住了。不管我有没有得到Tiamata，我的思想本身是停滞不前的。

I shouldn’t just solely rely on the results of my training and my slight improvements.
我不应该仅仅依靠我的训练结果和我的轻微进步。

I wanted to win. 我想赢。

…So I would win. ...所以我会赢。

I subconsciously had such doubts. I had been following Ellen for too long, getting to know just how absurd she was, so I’d subconsciously believed that I could never achieve what she could.
我下意识地有这样的疑惑。我关注艾伦太久了，知道她有多荒谬，所以我下意识地认为我永远无法实现她所能做到的。

I had to eliminate that subconscious doubt.
我必须消除这种潜意识的怀疑。

I had to have complete conviction of my absolute victory.
我必须完全相信我的绝对胜利。

While he didn’t say such things there in Temple’s general headquarters, what he meant to say was “What rules are you ranting about when Temple never even followed article one, paragraph one?”
虽然他没有在坦普尔的总司令部说这样的话，但他想说的是：“当坦普尔甚至从未遵守第一条第一段时，你在咆哮什么规则？

Those words seemed to make both the Orbis Class’ teachers and the faculty members of the headquarters as well as the Royal Class teachers uncomfortable. However, Mr. Epinhauser was completely calm.
这句话似乎让奥比斯班的老师和总部的教职员工以及皇家班的老师都感到不舒服。然而，Epinhauser先生完全冷静。

“The purpose should come first, not the rule.”
“目的应该是第一位的，而不是规则。”

“Temple’s purpose is nurturing talented people to allow them to contribute to the Empire’s society and elevate the value of mankind as a whole—that was the purpose behind the establishment of Temple.”
“坦普尔的目的是培养人才，让他们为帝国社会做出贡献，提升整个人类的价值——这就是建立坦普尔的目的。

“The school rules are only meant to support that purpose, and if they are consistent with said purpose, then they are only secondary—that is what I think.”
“学校的规则只是为了支持这个目的，如果它们与上述目的一致，那么它们只是次要的——这就是我的想法。

I didn’t like those guys filled to the brim with positive energy. Instead, I liked Mr. Epinhauser.
我不喜欢那些充满正能量的家伙。相反，我喜欢Epinhauser先生。

I couldn’t convince those high school club guys that they were the only ones who could create things like that.
我无法说服那些高中俱乐部的家伙，他们是唯一能创造出这样东西的人。

The way I set things up, the kids would get stronger on their own, even without me.
按照我的设置方式，即使没有我，孩子们也会自己变得更强壮。

Wasn’t that a bit too harsh?
是不是有点太苛刻了？

No one made fun of me because they knew that I had been busy with a lot of things in addition to getting seriously hurt.
没有人取笑我，因为他们知道我除了受重伤之外，还忙于很多事情。

No… 不。。。

Still, getting last place was a bit…
不过，获得最后一名还是有点......

I knew that all of them were thinking something similar judging by their expressions.
我知道，从他们的表情来看，他们都在想类似的事情。

But so what? 但那又怎样？

I believed that getting achievement points was more important. Anyway, an achievement was an achievement.
我认为获得成就点更重要。无论如何，成就就是成就。

* * *

Every time I went through those things, I felt how uncreative I had been.
每次我经历这些事情时，我都觉得自己是多么缺乏创造力。

* * *

Let’s call it a day.” “让我们收工吧。”

Suddenly, both I and Ellen were rolling that snowball.
突然间，我和艾伦都在滚雪球。

If someone saw me like that, it would seriously damage Reinhardt’s dignity.
如果有人这样看我，那会严重损害莱因哈特的尊严。

However, I thought that if I started to pay attention to such banal things, that would mean that things had already gone awry, so I just focused on making the snowball even more.
但是，我认为如果我开始关注这些平庸的事情，那就意味着事情已经出了问题，所以我只是专注于让雪球变得更像。

“You don't idolize me, you don't worship me, you don't force me or want me to act a certain way. You just take me for who I am."
“你不崇拜我，你不崇拜我，你不强迫我或希望我以某种方式行事。你只是把我当成我。