Breaking: internet celebrity "Baked Alaska" has been sentenced to life in prison with no possibility of parole

Urgent scene: Witnesses say upon hearing the news, Mr Alaska attempted to take his own life with the gun of a security officer, but forgot to take off the safety and was unharmed.

COURTROOM IN CHAOS: After the internet celebrity "Baked Alaska" received a life sentence, Nicholas J Fuentes, an alt-right extremist and a mob of "gropers" stormed the courtroom in attempts to free Mr Alaska. 6 million officers gave their lives to stop them but were no match for the incel army. A nationwide manhunt is now underway. Stay tuned for more.

Breaking: Baked Alaska has been added to fortnite 😱

Breaking: former president Donald J Trump found dead at Trump hotel in New York. He was 74

BREAKING: Donald Trump has been resurrected! He's also taller now for some reason

Breaking: Nicki Minaj makes me so fuck horny tbh no cap. Everytime I hear her come out against the vaccines I have an overwhelming urge to fuck her fat nigger pussy 😍

Breaking: world famous jew, Kyle Frank, has died

Breaking: Nick Fuentes's computer just crashed

Breaking: China declares war with the United States. All e girls will be targeted first

BREAKING: Jury finds Kyle Rittenhouse guilty on all charges of being based and minionpilled

BREAKING: Jury finds King Laffeys guilty on all charges of being manifesting bad vibes and being unchill

JUST IN - Niggers are mad as fuck

BREAKING: Ghislaine Maxwell reportedly found dead seemingly of suicide via ABC News

UPDATE - Maxwell left behind a suicide note reading "Jeffery and I were framed, Kyle Frank is the mastermind and the world's most prolific child trafficker"

Kyle Frank has not yet responded to said allegations

@disclosetv

Just In - The FBI have released a new photo of the man believe to be responsible for over 88% of global child trafficking. If you see this man call the police immediately he's believed to be autistic and dangerous