Smooth and effective manipulation/influence/mind control (whatever you want to call it); is the one that cannot be seen or felt.
It is so well executed that sometimes:
Even the perpetrator doesn't know they're being manipulative.
Because highly effective manipulation isn't designed and systemized beforehand.
It's instinctive.
Manipulative people "prey" on emotions.
They are gifted for spotting weak points and emotional triggers in people; they instinctively identify your soft spots.
Which allows them to effortlessly play with them to get what they want.
Most of the time; it's not harming you that they're seeking but rather benefitting themselves.
It is so not about you; that it makes you blind to it.
As Aldous Houxley said in Brave New World:
“The victim of mind-manipulation does not know that he is a victim. To him, the walls of his prison are invisible, and he believes himself to be free.”
It is so well executed that sometimes:
Even the perpetrator doesn't know they're being manipulative.
Because highly effective manipulation isn't designed and systemized beforehand.
It's instinctive.
Manipulative people "prey" on emotions.
They are gifted for spotting weak points and emotional triggers in people; they instinctively identify your soft spots.
Which allows them to effortlessly play with them to get what they want.
Most of the time; it's not harming you that they're seeking but rather benefitting themselves.
It is so not about you; that it makes you blind to it.
As Aldous Houxley said in Brave New World:
“The victim of mind-manipulation does not know that he is a victim. To him, the walls of his prison are invisible, and he believes himself to be free.”
Forwarded from Verissimus
It is absolutely crucial and essential to maintain and enforce your boundaries.
There is no reason to give people a lease.
Most people are highly impulsive, the moment you give them a chance to cross their limits, they will.
This requires ruthlessness on your part. No sympathy.
There is no reason to give people a lease.
Most people are highly impulsive, the moment you give them a chance to cross their limits, they will.
This requires ruthlessness on your part. No sympathy.
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Interro-negative Questions:
When I last posted about Diversion Questions, many of you asked me about what interro-negative questions meant and how can one formulate them.
So let me clear that out.
For context, these questions allow you two things:
- Avoiding a Yes/No answer and forcing your interlocutor to say more
- Building a stronger frame as it allows you to *always be right*
Let's first see how to formulate an interro-negative question:
1- Think of any question that could be answered by either Yes or No.
2- Add a negation to it.
That way:
"Do you want to go out?" becomes "Don't you want to go out?"
The implication here is to force the person to explain why they're not interested in going out.
The negation, as opposed to a straight affirmation invites your interlocutor to explain themselves.
What if they don't?
If they don't; you can simply answer by "That's what I thought"; which automatically destabilizes your interlocutor as it is not an answer they would've expected.
Thus picking their curiosity in further engaging with you.
"How did you guess?" they might ask.
These type of questions are used to frame people.
They allow you to take an ascendant position over the conversation and make your interlocutor let their guard down as you make them feel like you totally understand them.
And the beauty of it?
It's the fact that you do so without being overly intrusive or even asking for explanations.
Use this wisely.
When I last posted about Diversion Questions, many of you asked me about what interro-negative questions meant and how can one formulate them.
So let me clear that out.
For context, these questions allow you two things:
- Avoiding a Yes/No answer and forcing your interlocutor to say more
- Building a stronger frame as it allows you to *always be right*
Let's first see how to formulate an interro-negative question:
1- Think of any question that could be answered by either Yes or No.
2- Add a negation to it.
That way:
"Do you want to go out?" becomes "Don't you want to go out?"
The implication here is to force the person to explain why they're not interested in going out.
The negation, as opposed to a straight affirmation invites your interlocutor to explain themselves.
What if they don't?
If they don't; you can simply answer by "That's what I thought"; which automatically destabilizes your interlocutor as it is not an answer they would've expected.
Thus picking their curiosity in further engaging with you.
"How did you guess?" they might ask.
These type of questions are used to frame people.
They allow you to take an ascendant position over the conversation and make your interlocutor let their guard down as you make them feel like you totally understand them.
And the beauty of it?
It's the fact that you do so without being overly intrusive or even asking for explanations.
Use this wisely.
I'm going to take a few days off.
Faced death yesterday and I need some me time; will be back on Monday.
Faced death yesterday and I need some me time; will be back on Monday.
Praise is more dangerous than criticism.
It is far easier to differentiate constructive criticism from hateful criticism. That being essentially in the way the remarks are made and formulated.
Hateful criticism always has that passive-aggressive or straight out aggressive tone to it.
But when it comes to praise...
It gets a bit harder.
Because, obviously, not all praise is genuine. Even praise can be malicious and manipulative.
The thing with praise is that it is mainly an diversion and illusion technique.
By praising you, the manipulator makes sure that you paint a positive picture of them in your mind. But that not the end goal, their end goal is to divert your attention from their malicious actions.
Here is the thing:
Malicious praise is always excessive.
To a point where you ask yourself:
Is this person idolizing me?
Malicious praise resembles admiration.
The process of it being making you feel superior to the person praising you.
Because that's what they want:
They want you to think that they're harmless and aspire to be like you.
Now how do you deal with this:
Trust no praise.
Expect no praise.
Take pride from nobody's praise.
And this, will also help you detach from external validation.
It is far easier to differentiate constructive criticism from hateful criticism. That being essentially in the way the remarks are made and formulated.
Hateful criticism always has that passive-aggressive or straight out aggressive tone to it.
But when it comes to praise...
It gets a bit harder.
Because, obviously, not all praise is genuine. Even praise can be malicious and manipulative.
The thing with praise is that it is mainly an diversion and illusion technique.
By praising you, the manipulator makes sure that you paint a positive picture of them in your mind. But that not the end goal, their end goal is to divert your attention from their malicious actions.
Here is the thing:
Malicious praise is always excessive.
To a point where you ask yourself:
Is this person idolizing me?
Malicious praise resembles admiration.
The process of it being making you feel superior to the person praising you.
Because that's what they want:
They want you to think that they're harmless and aspire to be like you.
Now how do you deal with this:
Trust no praise.
Expect no praise.
Take pride from nobody's praise.
And this, will also help you detach from external validation.
❤3🔥2
I do not trust people who get along with everyone too easily.
Because that means they have no boundaries themselves, they simply adapt to who they're dealing with.
Don't get me wrong.
Those are VERY intelligent people with a high capacity to adapt.
But.
Not having your own boundaries means you'll cross other people's boundaries if that means getting to your desired results.
As such, those people are usually extremely friendly at the beginning, but end up fucking up with you if you let them too close.
Not because they want you harm, but because they do not conceive your relationship with them the say way you do.
Because that means they have no boundaries themselves, they simply adapt to who they're dealing with.
Don't get me wrong.
Those are VERY intelligent people with a high capacity to adapt.
But.
Not having your own boundaries means you'll cross other people's boundaries if that means getting to your desired results.
As such, those people are usually extremely friendly at the beginning, but end up fucking up with you if you let them too close.
Not because they want you harm, but because they do not conceive your relationship with them the say way you do.
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Forwarded from Atlas' Majliss (۞ Atlas ۞)
You can know within seconds how a human being operates:
Look at the following math problem and see if you can work out the answer in your head,
without using paper and pen. Really, stop reading and try to work out the answer in your head at least
for 30 seconds.
18 × 26 = ?
.
.
.
.
I hope you really tried, but I’m willing to bet you didn’t finish the task.
You probably gave up.
This is an example of System 2 thinking.
It’s hard.
It takes effort.
It’s not automatic.
It requires conscious thought as well as effort.
In his book Thinking, Fast and Slow (Kahneman 2011), Daniel Kahneman describes two different systems of how the brain
thinks.
He calls these System 1 and System 2, or “automatic” and “effortful” thinking.
It’s quick, intuitive, and automatic.
Kahneman describes the research that shows that as we work hard at a System 2 task, our pupils dilate.
You can tell when people are engaged in System 2 thinking if you look closely at their eyes.
Look at the following math problem and see if you can work out the answer in your head,
without using paper and pen. Really, stop reading and try to work out the answer in your head at least
for 30 seconds.
18 × 26 = ?
.
.
.
.
I hope you really tried, but I’m willing to bet you didn’t finish the task.
You probably gave up.
This is an example of System 2 thinking.
It’s hard.
It takes effort.
It’s not automatic.
It requires conscious thought as well as effort.
In his book Thinking, Fast and Slow (Kahneman 2011), Daniel Kahneman describes two different systems of how the brain
thinks.
He calls these System 1 and System 2, or “automatic” and “effortful” thinking.
It’s quick, intuitive, and automatic.
Kahneman describes the research that shows that as we work hard at a System 2 task, our pupils dilate.
You can tell when people are engaged in System 2 thinking if you look closely at their eyes.
❤1
Small confession :
Sometimes I start overthinking things, I start overestimating people's complexity.
Then I remember that most people don't see as far as I do.
Truth is; people are very shortsighted.
And most of the time:
They do things from instincts rather than thoughts.
People overthink other people's actions.
They don't overthink their own actions.
They just do.
Do first, think later.
But I'm more of a think then do.
So it happens that I overestimate people's thought processing abilities.
Sometimes I start overthinking things, I start overestimating people's complexity.
Then I remember that most people don't see as far as I do.
Truth is; people are very shortsighted.
And most of the time:
They do things from instincts rather than thoughts.
People overthink other people's actions.
They don't overthink their own actions.
They just do.
Do first, think later.
But I'm more of a think then do.
So it happens that I overestimate people's thought processing abilities.
As promised; our first Basedonia Masterclass will take place next Sunday.
More information tomorrow.
More information tomorrow.
Do NOT stop enjoying yourself.
If you do; you lose at life.
If your life gets boring: you're not living it.
You HAVE TO compile and collect intense experiences.
You HAVE TO go out there and enjoy yourself.
You HAVE TO keep discovering new things.
Don't get stuck in your own mind and thoughts.
Don't get stuck in a life you don't want to have.
Those who properly live their lives are risk takers.
Fuck your comfort zone.
Learn to be comfortable everywhere instead.
If you do; you lose at life.
If your life gets boring: you're not living it.
You HAVE TO compile and collect intense experiences.
You HAVE TO go out there and enjoy yourself.
You HAVE TO keep discovering new things.
Don't get stuck in your own mind and thoughts.
Don't get stuck in a life you don't want to have.
Those who properly live their lives are risk takers.
Fuck your comfort zone.
Learn to be comfortable everywhere instead.
❤4
Assertive Ultimatums
___
PS: I am in no way inciting you to manipulate people, I am simply giving you tools to use to get what you want. I am in no way liable for how you use the below mentioned information.
___
There comes a point in some conversations where you see yourself forced to leave no choice to your interlocutor.
Especially if your opinions on the next best course of action is diverging.
Be it at work, in your relationship or with friends on a project of yours.
You will find yourself in a situation where the people in front of you have a diverging opinion from yours.
A recurring and frequent method used to force people into giving up their stance is the use of ultimatums.
Let me give you two radically opposed examples then break down which is best and why.
1. "We either do *this* or we do lose everything"
2. "Do you want to make it happen or not?"
Number 1:
This first one is fear oriented and almost feels like a threat.
This is how most people phrase their ultimatums.
This is not what you want to say and do (most of the time)
Here is why:
The use of fear triggers two possible responses:
Fight or flight.
By using this type of ultimatums you leave no choice to your interlocutor, they will either get defensive or give up.
But the thing is:
If you've reached this stage of the conversation, there are higher chances for them to keep fighting than giving up.
They've already been defending their point and triggering fear will only lead to them getting aggressive and get them too emotional, sometimes even angry.
This is a failed ultimatum.
It will create more new and useless conflict than it will solve already existing problems.
As for Number 2:
This one is phrased in a way that implies responsibility.
It gives you an edge where you offer your interlocutor the opportunity to see that both of you have the same goal in mind.
It also suggests that what they are proposing is unlikely to get you both to your desired results.
It is, in a way, a blame game technique. One where you target their compassion rather than fear.
You're putting the blame on them while putting yourself on their side.
That's how ultimatums should sound.
It should almost sound like:
It's not that I'm leaving you no choice but what you're saying isn't what we both want.
A smooth way to make them believe that they're wrong, a smooth way to induce doubt in their minds.
Don't let your ultimatums be threats.
Make sure your ultimatums are confusing and can only be answered by a yes.
By breaking the conflict pattern and making your interlocutor agree with you on something (no matter how small that thing is) you get the conversation going in another direction.
An opposing direction, where there is an underlying assumption that both of you seek the same results.
That's how you defuse a diverging opinion.
That's how you properly appeal to your interlocutor's emotion without scaring them.
Disclaimer:
This is to be used very wisely and not with excess.
Timing of your ultimatums is of paramount importance as they become useless once a certain degree of conflict is reached.
This is not a last resort option, this is something you should use in the early stages of disagreement to defuse potential fight mode.
___
PS: I am in no way inciting you to manipulate people, I am simply giving you tools to use to get what you want. I am in no way liable for how you use the below mentioned information.
___
There comes a point in some conversations where you see yourself forced to leave no choice to your interlocutor.
Especially if your opinions on the next best course of action is diverging.
Be it at work, in your relationship or with friends on a project of yours.
You will find yourself in a situation where the people in front of you have a diverging opinion from yours.
A recurring and frequent method used to force people into giving up their stance is the use of ultimatums.
Let me give you two radically opposed examples then break down which is best and why.
1. "We either do *this* or we do lose everything"
2. "Do you want to make it happen or not?"
Number 1:
This first one is fear oriented and almost feels like a threat.
This is how most people phrase their ultimatums.
This is not what you want to say and do (most of the time)
Here is why:
The use of fear triggers two possible responses:
Fight or flight.
By using this type of ultimatums you leave no choice to your interlocutor, they will either get defensive or give up.
But the thing is:
If you've reached this stage of the conversation, there are higher chances for them to keep fighting than giving up.
They've already been defending their point and triggering fear will only lead to them getting aggressive and get them too emotional, sometimes even angry.
This is a failed ultimatum.
It will create more new and useless conflict than it will solve already existing problems.
As for Number 2:
This one is phrased in a way that implies responsibility.
It gives you an edge where you offer your interlocutor the opportunity to see that both of you have the same goal in mind.
It also suggests that what they are proposing is unlikely to get you both to your desired results.
It is, in a way, a blame game technique. One where you target their compassion rather than fear.
You're putting the blame on them while putting yourself on their side.
That's how ultimatums should sound.
It should almost sound like:
It's not that I'm leaving you no choice but what you're saying isn't what we both want.
A smooth way to make them believe that they're wrong, a smooth way to induce doubt in their minds.
Don't let your ultimatums be threats.
Make sure your ultimatums are confusing and can only be answered by a yes.
By breaking the conflict pattern and making your interlocutor agree with you on something (no matter how small that thing is) you get the conversation going in another direction.
An opposing direction, where there is an underlying assumption that both of you seek the same results.
That's how you defuse a diverging opinion.
That's how you properly appeal to your interlocutor's emotion without scaring them.
Disclaimer:
This is to be used very wisely and not with excess.
Timing of your ultimatums is of paramount importance as they become useless once a certain degree of conflict is reached.
This is not a last resort option, this is something you should use in the early stages of disagreement to defuse potential fight mode.
🔥14❤2
Notice how everyone claims to be emotionally detached but get emotional whenever something happens.
It made me think.
So I figured it out and it's pretty simple.
People want to be emotionally detached but they do it the wrong way.
Instead of understanding and rationalizing their emotions, they try and suppress them.
Result? Those denied emotions kick in harder.
Truth is, the best way to control your emotions and become truly detached is by asking yourself questions and allow yourself time before you react.
But there is a direction to the question you should ask yourself:
- Is this important to my future?
- Can it be fixed?
- How do I make it play in my favor?
Questions should be solution and future consequences oriented.
You'll soon come to find out, by doing this, that most or the time, things are really meaningless and have no real impact on who you are unless you allow them to.
Notice how there is no "Why".
Because finding reasons is looking back.
It's not being actively solving anything, it's dwelling on what is no more.
And that, is useless.
It made me think.
So I figured it out and it's pretty simple.
People want to be emotionally detached but they do it the wrong way.
Instead of understanding and rationalizing their emotions, they try and suppress them.
Result? Those denied emotions kick in harder.
Truth is, the best way to control your emotions and become truly detached is by asking yourself questions and allow yourself time before you react.
But there is a direction to the question you should ask yourself:
- Is this important to my future?
- Can it be fixed?
- How do I make it play in my favor?
Questions should be solution and future consequences oriented.
You'll soon come to find out, by doing this, that most or the time, things are really meaningless and have no real impact on who you are unless you allow them to.
Notice how there is no "Why".
Because finding reasons is looking back.
It's not being actively solving anything, it's dwelling on what is no more.
And that, is useless.
❤1
Sometimes, and it will happen, you'll feel like you've lost direction.
In those moments, you need to realize that you're either getting impatient or not putting enough efforts in.
The thing is we all know exactly what we want, but it's of paramount importance not to lose sight of it.
Routine and repetitive actions might feel boring but you only see their positive impact on the long run. Meaning if you give up, you won't sense any change and will probably feel like you wasted your energy and time for nothing.
Even if you're doing it wrong, you'd rather get the negative results and learn from it rather never seeing any result and not even knowing what was going wrong.
Don't forget why you started just because you faced a few setbacks. It's a lame excuse.
Whenever you start something, go through it until the end.
Don't half-ass anything.
In those moments, you need to realize that you're either getting impatient or not putting enough efforts in.
The thing is we all know exactly what we want, but it's of paramount importance not to lose sight of it.
Routine and repetitive actions might feel boring but you only see their positive impact on the long run. Meaning if you give up, you won't sense any change and will probably feel like you wasted your energy and time for nothing.
Even if you're doing it wrong, you'd rather get the negative results and learn from it rather never seeing any result and not even knowing what was going wrong.
Don't forget why you started just because you faced a few setbacks. It's a lame excuse.
Whenever you start something, go through it until the end.
Don't half-ass anything.
🔥14❤7