It takes a weight out of your shoulders, a stress out of your mind, when you accept that people's behavior towards you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
Things are rarely personal and you should avoid taking them as such.
Let people be whatever they are.
Just don't be like them, don't let your subconscious and insecurities drive you.
Things are rarely personal and you should avoid taking them as such.
Let people be whatever they are.
Just don't be like them, don't let your subconscious and insecurities drive you.
🔥3
Forwarded from Lords Arena
Me before meditating: Shit, I have to complete this, oh no I have so many problems how will I tackle this, blah blah blah...
Me after meditating: The Universe is always on my side.
Peace.
Me after meditating: The Universe is always on my side.
Peace.
Forwarded from The Inspiring Land (The Inspiring Content)
The problem isn't that you don't have time.
The problem is that you don't have priorities.
The problem is that you don't have priorities.
Seems like we've lost many members here.
Thanks to those who stayed; I have been somewhat inactive but we all know it's a matter of time before I'm back full force on this.
Thanks for sticking around
Thanks to those who stayed; I have been somewhat inactive but we all know it's a matter of time before I'm back full force on this.
Thanks for sticking around
How to deal with doubt
This is a feeling and a process that I have both experienced not very long ago.
The thing with doubt is that sometimes it makes sense.
Sometimes you might be dead ass wrong.
Sometimes.
But unless you review the motives and incentives behind both your initial decision and the doubt you're facing; you will not be able to get the most out of the situation.
To be a bit more specific, the process you should adopt in case you're not sure of doing the right thing anymore is the following:
Start by asking the right question.
-How did I get here?
-What pushed me to make the initial decision?
-What made me think that it's a good decision?
-What changed since then?
-Is the change temporary or does its consequence impact the long run?
-What other options did I have and why I didn't pick them?
Those very precise questions will help you shed the light on the most important parameters to take into consideration.
It'll help you ignore irrelevant thoughts and focus on elements that heavily influenced your decisions at all stages.
Being able to go back in time and question your past decisions will help you understand more how you got where you are and what you might have done wrong.
Moments of doubt are moments of self-building.
They're not supposed to take you down, they're supposed to drive you forward.
You will always be right if you always correct yourself.
Dont let others tell you how to run your life.
Take control and keep it.
Doubt will always be there, you'd rather make it an ally.
This is a feeling and a process that I have both experienced not very long ago.
The thing with doubt is that sometimes it makes sense.
Sometimes you might be dead ass wrong.
Sometimes.
But unless you review the motives and incentives behind both your initial decision and the doubt you're facing; you will not be able to get the most out of the situation.
To be a bit more specific, the process you should adopt in case you're not sure of doing the right thing anymore is the following:
Start by asking the right question.
-How did I get here?
-What pushed me to make the initial decision?
-What made me think that it's a good decision?
-What changed since then?
-Is the change temporary or does its consequence impact the long run?
-What other options did I have and why I didn't pick them?
Those very precise questions will help you shed the light on the most important parameters to take into consideration.
It'll help you ignore irrelevant thoughts and focus on elements that heavily influenced your decisions at all stages.
Being able to go back in time and question your past decisions will help you understand more how you got where you are and what you might have done wrong.
Moments of doubt are moments of self-building.
They're not supposed to take you down, they're supposed to drive you forward.
You will always be right if you always correct yourself.
Dont let others tell you how to run your life.
Take control and keep it.
Doubt will always be there, you'd rather make it an ally.
❤1🔥1
How would you behave when no one is watching?
That's the answer to doubtful situations.
Thing is the right answer is always the obvious one.
That's the answer to doubtful situations.
Thing is the right answer is always the obvious one.
How to Biologically control Your Emotions; Relief Stress & Anxiety and Live More Peacefully
I was initially going to make a giant post about this but I figured out many details would simply be useless for you.
What we need to understand is that intense (and negative) emotions such as fear, anger as well as impulsive reactions are a consequence of the amygdala; which is the part of the brain responsible of reacting to potential threats (which is also a cause of stress and anxiety but we'll get to that).
The amygdala is part of the limbic system; the side of the brain that is responsible for emotions, learning and memory. Those three are highly related.
What we need to highlights is that the limbic system is one of the oldest parts of the human brain and has survived throughout millennials of evolutionary changes; this part of the brain can be found in other animals. In other words; the limbic system is survival oriented. It is one of the human organs that have helped us evolve; and for that the amygdala plays a central role is it is meant to prevent danger.
> "The amygdala's role is to perform a range of functions, including detection of threat and initiation of appropriate responses situations it perceives as dangerous."
In other words; amygdala is the part responsible of anxious reactions and intense fear based emotions.
Long story short: Amygdala can be wrong.
It's made for survival so it WILL worry about everything and anything.
It is as we said one of the oldest organs in our brain and has stayed throughout centuries of human evolution.
The thing is when the amygdala spots a threat, it will automatically force you to be in what is commonly called 'flee, fight or freeze' position.
Which is the natural and normal human reaction.
Up to now; everything is fine.
The trick is that those reactions are more adapted to a wild life where you are physically threatened.
In the modern world; they might be overreactions to the situations at hand.
In most cases; the ideal reaction to non-physical threats or dangers is to remain calm and composed (See thread for more details on how to do it).
This the part where we solve it.
This is also the part where we go back to basis.
How do we calm the amygdala?
How do we avoid what is called 'Amygdala Hijack'? (detailed article that I partly used as a source)
Psychiatrists and therapist use a hypnosis technique called REM (Rapid Eye Movement); a practive that aims to replicate the eye movement on a person while their asleep (emulating the calmness of someone who's asleep, reaching low brain frequencies and appeasing the brain activity).
The Good news?
There are two ways for you to do it on your own.
1- Long walks
2- Long meditations (If you're a beginner, check this out)
Meditations might be an obvious way to practice REM so I'll focus on how walks can do that.
While walking, you create an optical flux, your eyes will subconsciously focus on the environment around (naturally looking for potential danger and safety).
That movement of the eye, will appease your amygdala as it will be looking for elements of danger in the external environment; getting it used to this practice will numb it and make it more acceptant to stressful situations.
That on top of the REM that will appease your feelings of anxiety on the spot.
Both treatment and prevention.
Hope you found value on this post.
Let me know what ways you use to control your stress and anxiety in the comments.
I was initially going to make a giant post about this but I figured out many details would simply be useless for you.
What we need to understand is that intense (and negative) emotions such as fear, anger as well as impulsive reactions are a consequence of the amygdala; which is the part of the brain responsible of reacting to potential threats (which is also a cause of stress and anxiety but we'll get to that).
The amygdala is part of the limbic system; the side of the brain that is responsible for emotions, learning and memory. Those three are highly related.
What we need to highlights is that the limbic system is one of the oldest parts of the human brain and has survived throughout millennials of evolutionary changes; this part of the brain can be found in other animals. In other words; the limbic system is survival oriented. It is one of the human organs that have helped us evolve; and for that the amygdala plays a central role is it is meant to prevent danger.
> "The amygdala's role is to perform a range of functions, including detection of threat and initiation of appropriate responses situations it perceives as dangerous."
In other words; amygdala is the part responsible of anxious reactions and intense fear based emotions.
Long story short: Amygdala can be wrong.
It's made for survival so it WILL worry about everything and anything.
It is as we said one of the oldest organs in our brain and has stayed throughout centuries of human evolution.
The thing is when the amygdala spots a threat, it will automatically force you to be in what is commonly called 'flee, fight or freeze' position.
Which is the natural and normal human reaction.
Up to now; everything is fine.
The trick is that those reactions are more adapted to a wild life where you are physically threatened.
In the modern world; they might be overreactions to the situations at hand.
In most cases; the ideal reaction to non-physical threats or dangers is to remain calm and composed (See thread for more details on how to do it).
This the part where we solve it.
This is also the part where we go back to basis.
How do we calm the amygdala?
How do we avoid what is called 'Amygdala Hijack'? (detailed article that I partly used as a source)
Psychiatrists and therapist use a hypnosis technique called REM (Rapid Eye Movement); a practive that aims to replicate the eye movement on a person while their asleep (emulating the calmness of someone who's asleep, reaching low brain frequencies and appeasing the brain activity).
The Good news?
There are two ways for you to do it on your own.
1- Long walks
2- Long meditations (If you're a beginner, check this out)
Meditations might be an obvious way to practice REM so I'll focus on how walks can do that.
While walking, you create an optical flux, your eyes will subconsciously focus on the environment around (naturally looking for potential danger and safety).
That movement of the eye, will appease your amygdala as it will be looking for elements of danger in the external environment; getting it used to this practice will numb it and make it more acceptant to stressful situations.
That on top of the REM that will appease your feelings of anxiety on the spot.
Both treatment and prevention.
Hope you found value on this post.
Let me know what ways you use to control your stress and anxiety in the comments.
❤8🔥6
This was going to be a PDF but why make it complicated when it can be simplified.
As much as making enemies is perceived as self-sabotage; there is one thing that is even worse:
Avoiding adversity.
If making enemies is the price of standing your ground and defending your position; then so be it.
For it's in adversity that one grows.
It's from friction that fire is born.
It's from friction that we got light.
Never forget that the pain of the process determines the importance of the results.
There is no growth without difficulty; there is no transcendance without resistance.
Avoiding adversity.
If making enemies is the price of standing your ground and defending your position; then so be it.
For it's in adversity that one grows.
It's from friction that fire is born.
It's from friction that we got light.
Never forget that the pain of the process determines the importance of the results.
There is no growth without difficulty; there is no transcendance without resistance.
❤3
Being open to new experiences makes you smarter.
This is a fact that I'll explain in a moment, let's clarify the other side of the coin first.
The more you stay within the realm of your comfort, the more you numb your senses and mental abilities.
Doing the same expectable things repeatedly leads you to live on autopilot.
An obvious example: mindless scrolling on Twitter or Instagram.
How many times do you catch yourself doing that?
Hold on, how many times do you catch yourself doing that as a way to distract yourself from the outside world?
This is just one of many examples of how hiding from the outside world makes us less aware and less present.
So, how does trying new things and having new experiences makes you smarter?
The answer is quite easy and obvious.
Intelligence is defined by one's ability to adapt to any given situation, circumstances or environment.
One of our most powerful tools when it comes to problem-solving is undeniably memory.
It's also the one we will tend to turn to first.
If you've already seen it, then there is a whole process of familiarization that vanishes, you know exactly (or approximately) how to deal with the situation at hand.
Now think of what happens when you're adventurous and look forward to new experiences; as you compile lessons and find out about new things.
You for one reduce the natural fear of the unknown. By experiencing it many times, you learn how to manage it and control it.
But you also and most importantly earn a considerable amount of experience and familiarity that you can more easily spot the difficulty and solve it right away.
Don't limit yourself, expand it.
This is a fact that I'll explain in a moment, let's clarify the other side of the coin first.
The more you stay within the realm of your comfort, the more you numb your senses and mental abilities.
Doing the same expectable things repeatedly leads you to live on autopilot.
An obvious example: mindless scrolling on Twitter or Instagram.
How many times do you catch yourself doing that?
Hold on, how many times do you catch yourself doing that as a way to distract yourself from the outside world?
This is just one of many examples of how hiding from the outside world makes us less aware and less present.
So, how does trying new things and having new experiences makes you smarter?
The answer is quite easy and obvious.
Intelligence is defined by one's ability to adapt to any given situation, circumstances or environment.
One of our most powerful tools when it comes to problem-solving is undeniably memory.
It's also the one we will tend to turn to first.
If you've already seen it, then there is a whole process of familiarization that vanishes, you know exactly (or approximately) how to deal with the situation at hand.
Now think of what happens when you're adventurous and look forward to new experiences; as you compile lessons and find out about new things.
You for one reduce the natural fear of the unknown. By experiencing it many times, you learn how to manage it and control it.
But you also and most importantly earn a considerable amount of experience and familiarity that you can more easily spot the difficulty and solve it right away.
Don't limit yourself, expand it.
🔥3❤1
Forwarded from Northern Nephilim
Using Empathy To Manipulate
How do you identify when someone is trying to get you to do something using empathy? How can you do this to someone yourself?
First of all, to emulate empathy, you should allow yourself to feel the empathy, but have a rope to pull yourself out when the task is complete. Reason being that it's a bit difficult to imitate being empathetic. Lay out rules of what you will and won't do.
An example is always best for conveying these kinds of ideas, here are a few:
Men often take advantage of women who have been hurt in their relationship by simply being empathetic. She's having problems with her boyfriend and is feeling resentful of him at the time, so he offers her a shoulder to cry on. He sides with her instead of her boyfriend, but also acknowledges one or two things the boyfriend did as not so bad, so it doesn't seem that he's antagonizing her boyfriend (which would come off as suspicious). But, he agrees with her that her boyfriend fucked up massively and overall she's in the right, and even if she's not she did not deserve to be hurt like this. Boyfriend bad, girlfriend innocent and in pain. She seeks comfort and warmth from the imposter and ends up sleeping with him. This has happened one too many times.
Another example is of the guy who got robbed at home. The imposter (who had organized the robbers) expresses how deeply sorry he is to hear that, and even offers the victim shelter at his place for the time being till they can be sure the victim's home is safe again and even gives him some money to hang on to while he sorts his affairs. The victim, who might have been suspicious of the imposter will most likely do away with such suspicions.
Now, to set what you will and won't do is to mentally structure the limit of your empathetic demonstration. Will you spend money? Will you offer help? Will you give your time?
This will guide you not to get sucked and become an unwilling victim when emotions might enter. It is paramount that you set your empathetic limits before hand and no matter what happens do not change them. This is a decision you make once and do not review.
Depending on the magnitude of what's at stake, you could invest time, help and even money to rope them in further and increase their perception of your level of empathy. The more they are seduced, the more easily they will be exploited and vice versa.
How do you identify when someone is trying to get you to do something using empathy? How can you do this to someone yourself?
First of all, to emulate empathy, you should allow yourself to feel the empathy, but have a rope to pull yourself out when the task is complete. Reason being that it's a bit difficult to imitate being empathetic. Lay out rules of what you will and won't do.
An example is always best for conveying these kinds of ideas, here are a few:
Men often take advantage of women who have been hurt in their relationship by simply being empathetic. She's having problems with her boyfriend and is feeling resentful of him at the time, so he offers her a shoulder to cry on. He sides with her instead of her boyfriend, but also acknowledges one or two things the boyfriend did as not so bad, so it doesn't seem that he's antagonizing her boyfriend (which would come off as suspicious). But, he agrees with her that her boyfriend fucked up massively and overall she's in the right, and even if she's not she did not deserve to be hurt like this. Boyfriend bad, girlfriend innocent and in pain. She seeks comfort and warmth from the imposter and ends up sleeping with him. This has happened one too many times.
Another example is of the guy who got robbed at home. The imposter (who had organized the robbers) expresses how deeply sorry he is to hear that, and even offers the victim shelter at his place for the time being till they can be sure the victim's home is safe again and even gives him some money to hang on to while he sorts his affairs. The victim, who might have been suspicious of the imposter will most likely do away with such suspicions.
Now, to set what you will and won't do is to mentally structure the limit of your empathetic demonstration. Will you spend money? Will you offer help? Will you give your time?
This will guide you not to get sucked and become an unwilling victim when emotions might enter. It is paramount that you set your empathetic limits before hand and no matter what happens do not change them. This is a decision you make once and do not review.
Depending on the magnitude of what's at stake, you could invest time, help and even money to rope them in further and increase their perception of your level of empathy. The more they are seduced, the more easily they will be exploited and vice versa.
Forwarded from 🌞 Sol Brah ⚡️
HOW TO ACT WHEN YOU ARE IN A ‘TOXIC’ ENVIRONMENT
Fundamentally we are programmed by our surroundings and the people we interact with.
Unfortunately, most of us are surrounded by people that (unintentionally) are not aligned with the values that we discover or begin to value more when we get on the path of self improvement, or simply disconnecting with the decaying modernity around us.
The key to existing in such environment is (as always) a perspective shift. Like all situations, we can choose to view it as something to be resisted, or something to be enjoyed and learn from. This choice is always ours as we are the masters of our own minds.
View your ‘toxic’ surroundings as a training ground, as a mental dojo in which you HONE your mental toughness. If you had an easy life surrounded by likeminded people forever, you would never develop the mental callouses that serve you in life.
Carlos Castaneda has an amazing concept called ‘the Petty Tyrant’:
“A petty tyrant is a tormentor. Someone who either holds the power of life and death over warriors or simply annoys them to distraction.” - Carlos Castaneda
The petty tyrant can be anyone in your life that tries to exert their level of control over you, could be family, could be coworkers or a boss, or just someone you have to interact with.
“My benefactor used to say that a warrior who stumbles on a petty tyrant is a lucky one.” - Don Juan
NEVER TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY. - This is the biggest gift of the petty tyrant. To be able to separate from and recognize that even though you will likely be annoyed to no end by the petty tyrant, you must not allow yourself to be energetically attached to the petty tyrant, and their bullshit that they throw your way.
Tyrants are effective teachers because they force the warrior to closely monitor their own reactions and habitual behaviours. The result is mindfulness.
This shift to being appreciative of the mental training they give you changes at core your vibrational state, allowing you to transcend those circumstances after a period of time. And of course, it is a process.
Forgive them, for they know not what they do.
Fundamentally we are programmed by our surroundings and the people we interact with.
Unfortunately, most of us are surrounded by people that (unintentionally) are not aligned with the values that we discover or begin to value more when we get on the path of self improvement, or simply disconnecting with the decaying modernity around us.
The key to existing in such environment is (as always) a perspective shift. Like all situations, we can choose to view it as something to be resisted, or something to be enjoyed and learn from. This choice is always ours as we are the masters of our own minds.
View your ‘toxic’ surroundings as a training ground, as a mental dojo in which you HONE your mental toughness. If you had an easy life surrounded by likeminded people forever, you would never develop the mental callouses that serve you in life.
Carlos Castaneda has an amazing concept called ‘the Petty Tyrant’:
“A petty tyrant is a tormentor. Someone who either holds the power of life and death over warriors or simply annoys them to distraction.” - Carlos Castaneda
The petty tyrant can be anyone in your life that tries to exert their level of control over you, could be family, could be coworkers or a boss, or just someone you have to interact with.
“My benefactor used to say that a warrior who stumbles on a petty tyrant is a lucky one.” - Don Juan
NEVER TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY. - This is the biggest gift of the petty tyrant. To be able to separate from and recognize that even though you will likely be annoyed to no end by the petty tyrant, you must not allow yourself to be energetically attached to the petty tyrant, and their bullshit that they throw your way.
Tyrants are effective teachers because they force the warrior to closely monitor their own reactions and habitual behaviours. The result is mindfulness.
This shift to being appreciative of the mental training they give you changes at core your vibrational state, allowing you to transcend those circumstances after a period of time. And of course, it is a process.
Forgive them, for they know not what they do.
Brainwaves and Self-Conditioning Trick your brain and create your own reality This will be longer than usual.
When you understand how your brain work and the electrical field it is; you can work on controlling it's performances
The first thing you need to understand is that; in period of tiredness or confusion (before bed or in the morning) the brain is in perfect condition to learn.
There are two ways for the human brain to learn and absorb knowledge that it won't forget:
-Repetition
-Hypnosis
The practice described in this thread consists of capitalizing on both in order to optimize one's brain performances & mindset in general.
Shaping one's own reality
Hypnosis state:
The closest one can naturally get to a hypnosis state is in the morning or before going to bed; but why? The low energy of those periods of time; combined with a state on unclarity and tiredness result in the brain only radiating Theta waves. Why it matters? Let's clarify the importance of Theta frequencies.
Before the age of 7, the human brain radiate Theta frequencies at most. It is incapable of getting beyond that frequency. Which makes it in a state similar to hypnosis; a state of creativity yet mental ineffciency. When the brain is on a Theta frequency; it reaches a state of absorption and stocking. It basically feed the subconscious and memory everything it receives and stocks them in there.
In other words; during Theta state our brains are as fresh as a kid's. It is open to learning. They often tell you to read stuff you want to keep in mind either before going to bed or right after waking up right? If that information will be printed in your mind almost certainly and become easier to remember.. Then how about you feed enhancers to your brain at that time?
Repetition: We all know repetition is precursor of learning. If we now know when is the best brain state to learn; we know when the repetition should occur. For any given skill; it is during the Theta state that one should try and feed information to their brain. Now, with all the previous information in mind. We will add another ingredient to this process: Affirmations. The power of affirmations resides in sending conscious messages to program our subconscious to think in a certain way.
If the kids are the easiest to program… Then your Theta state is the best time to condition yourself. That state allows you to access your subconscious and determine the information it holds. Feed it what YOU want it to believe. Solution: Each morning and each night; condition your mind to deal with what's coming. Affirm what you want to create as a reality. If you don't know where to start; get TERMINATE.
Force pre-requirements and control how your brain perceives your life. Feed it positive self-talk and optimism so that it starts expecting the best. You have total control over your thoughts. Take it.
PS: All your senses can be used to condition your mind. If you want to make the most of your affirmation; write them down while you think about them. This increases your perception of said idea (as you visualize it) and increases the likelihood of you retaining it
Side note: this is an old thread of mine; thought I'd share it again for those who missed it when I deleted all my tweets.
When you understand how your brain work and the electrical field it is; you can work on controlling it's performances
The first thing you need to understand is that; in period of tiredness or confusion (before bed or in the morning) the brain is in perfect condition to learn.
There are two ways for the human brain to learn and absorb knowledge that it won't forget:
-Repetition
-Hypnosis
The practice described in this thread consists of capitalizing on both in order to optimize one's brain performances & mindset in general.
Shaping one's own reality
Hypnosis state:
The closest one can naturally get to a hypnosis state is in the morning or before going to bed; but why? The low energy of those periods of time; combined with a state on unclarity and tiredness result in the brain only radiating Theta waves. Why it matters? Let's clarify the importance of Theta frequencies.
Before the age of 7, the human brain radiate Theta frequencies at most. It is incapable of getting beyond that frequency. Which makes it in a state similar to hypnosis; a state of creativity yet mental ineffciency. When the brain is on a Theta frequency; it reaches a state of absorption and stocking. It basically feed the subconscious and memory everything it receives and stocks them in there.
In other words; during Theta state our brains are as fresh as a kid's. It is open to learning. They often tell you to read stuff you want to keep in mind either before going to bed or right after waking up right? If that information will be printed in your mind almost certainly and become easier to remember.. Then how about you feed enhancers to your brain at that time?
Repetition: We all know repetition is precursor of learning. If we now know when is the best brain state to learn; we know when the repetition should occur. For any given skill; it is during the Theta state that one should try and feed information to their brain. Now, with all the previous information in mind. We will add another ingredient to this process: Affirmations. The power of affirmations resides in sending conscious messages to program our subconscious to think in a certain way.
If the kids are the easiest to program… Then your Theta state is the best time to condition yourself. That state allows you to access your subconscious and determine the information it holds. Feed it what YOU want it to believe. Solution: Each morning and each night; condition your mind to deal with what's coming. Affirm what you want to create as a reality. If you don't know where to start; get TERMINATE.
Force pre-requirements and control how your brain perceives your life. Feed it positive self-talk and optimism so that it starts expecting the best. You have total control over your thoughts. Take it.
PS: All your senses can be used to condition your mind. If you want to make the most of your affirmation; write them down while you think about them. This increases your perception of said idea (as you visualize it) and increases the likelihood of you retaining it
Side note: this is an old thread of mine; thought I'd share it again for those who missed it when I deleted all my tweets.
❤5🔥1
Forwarded from Marv’s Tribe
Techniques to free you from the mind
1 - There are no mistakes
The most notorious habit of the human mind is to resist reality. We prefer to live in our little world of imagination (painful or pleasurable), than living in reality. Because quiet honestly, reality is boring.
Yet all human frustrations stem from the mind’s inability to accept life as it is in the moment. We attribute all effects to our actions, and rarely consider the sheer immensity of things outside our control. As a result we expect our actions to be well calculated, 100% accurate and effectuate only positive effects. Quite foolish considering the fact that we neither have the mental capacity to compute all possible factors per moment, nor the covetable ability to predict the future. Simply put, humans hate to err.
This fear of erring has deep roots in your upbringing. It was painstakingly instilled in you by your parents and school system. The school system fulfills its part of the quota by employing a grading system that destroys the confidence of students. A terrible and inaccurate method of judging intelligence.
Generally, society upholds a strong stigma against failure. Academics isn’t the only test society puts you through. Your lifestyle, spirituality, health, appearance, relationship status, career choices are always being scrutinized by people who should have no business in your business. Unfortunately that’s the world you found yourself in, and you’ve learnt to adapt… Or have you?
The price of “adapting” is far costlier than anything you can imagine. What it actually means is that you’ve learnt to suffer in silence as the countless voices in your head incessantly judge you. Yet these voices aren’t really yours - but a composite of your parents, religious leaders, partners, friends, and even influencers. With varying intensity depending on what group you are most subservient to. The expectations of these people constantly bombard your mind. You frantically try to act in accordance with their set of rules, beating yourself up mentally for any slip up. Paradoxically, when you are overly conscious not to err, everything you do would seem like a mistake.
To be free of this obsession with perfection, let’s look into the concept of mistake.
What exactly is a mistake? Psychologically speaking - it is the mere idea that reality could be different other than what it is. Read that again. An idea that you create in your mind of the possibility that things could have happened differently. There’s no such thing. All of that is just a play of your intellect & imagination.
Understand this: No matter how hard you imagine it - things will never be different than how they are presently. You are only able to change the past in your mind, it never reflects reality momentarily.
So why waste mental energy in fantasy land. Reality may be boring or painful, but fully accepting it as it is changes the quality of your mind, and in turn, the quality of the experience. See it as a way to sharpen your Stoics.
You don’t have to let your own mind keep torturing you with could haves, would haves and should haves. Henceforth, whenever a thought pops up in your head saying you made a wrong or said the wrong thing, stop it dead in its tracks. Things are always exaggerated (positively or negatively) in your mind. There’s no way you could possibly know how things could have turned out alternatively. It’s guess work at best.
This habit of wanting or imaging things to be different is so deeply ingrained that it’s almost second nature. It’s not easy to break from but you can start practicing today. Just don’t be interested or invested in your mind's stories, no matter how tempting they are.
Even in this you’ll err and your mind will try to guilt trip you. Remain detached and indifferent to whatever it says. Rather than participating in the discourse between all the voices in your head, be the watcher. Don’t even be the judge or corrector. Be aloof, and gradually the ability of your mind to pull you into dream land will start to wane….
Hope this helps someone 🤎
1 - There are no mistakes
The most notorious habit of the human mind is to resist reality. We prefer to live in our little world of imagination (painful or pleasurable), than living in reality. Because quiet honestly, reality is boring.
Yet all human frustrations stem from the mind’s inability to accept life as it is in the moment. We attribute all effects to our actions, and rarely consider the sheer immensity of things outside our control. As a result we expect our actions to be well calculated, 100% accurate and effectuate only positive effects. Quite foolish considering the fact that we neither have the mental capacity to compute all possible factors per moment, nor the covetable ability to predict the future. Simply put, humans hate to err.
This fear of erring has deep roots in your upbringing. It was painstakingly instilled in you by your parents and school system. The school system fulfills its part of the quota by employing a grading system that destroys the confidence of students. A terrible and inaccurate method of judging intelligence.
Generally, society upholds a strong stigma against failure. Academics isn’t the only test society puts you through. Your lifestyle, spirituality, health, appearance, relationship status, career choices are always being scrutinized by people who should have no business in your business. Unfortunately that’s the world you found yourself in, and you’ve learnt to adapt… Or have you?
The price of “adapting” is far costlier than anything you can imagine. What it actually means is that you’ve learnt to suffer in silence as the countless voices in your head incessantly judge you. Yet these voices aren’t really yours - but a composite of your parents, religious leaders, partners, friends, and even influencers. With varying intensity depending on what group you are most subservient to. The expectations of these people constantly bombard your mind. You frantically try to act in accordance with their set of rules, beating yourself up mentally for any slip up. Paradoxically, when you are overly conscious not to err, everything you do would seem like a mistake.
To be free of this obsession with perfection, let’s look into the concept of mistake.
What exactly is a mistake? Psychologically speaking - it is the mere idea that reality could be different other than what it is. Read that again. An idea that you create in your mind of the possibility that things could have happened differently. There’s no such thing. All of that is just a play of your intellect & imagination.
Understand this: No matter how hard you imagine it - things will never be different than how they are presently. You are only able to change the past in your mind, it never reflects reality momentarily.
So why waste mental energy in fantasy land. Reality may be boring or painful, but fully accepting it as it is changes the quality of your mind, and in turn, the quality of the experience. See it as a way to sharpen your Stoics.
You don’t have to let your own mind keep torturing you with could haves, would haves and should haves. Henceforth, whenever a thought pops up in your head saying you made a wrong or said the wrong thing, stop it dead in its tracks. Things are always exaggerated (positively or negatively) in your mind. There’s no way you could possibly know how things could have turned out alternatively. It’s guess work at best.
This habit of wanting or imaging things to be different is so deeply ingrained that it’s almost second nature. It’s not easy to break from but you can start practicing today. Just don’t be interested or invested in your mind's stories, no matter how tempting they are.
Even in this you’ll err and your mind will try to guilt trip you. Remain detached and indifferent to whatever it says. Rather than participating in the discourse between all the voices in your head, be the watcher. Don’t even be the judge or corrector. Be aloof, and gradually the ability of your mind to pull you into dream land will start to wane….
Hope this helps someone 🤎
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Demystifying the lie around Narcissism.
This is a piece I have been keen to write for a while and some of it's focal points have already discussed here but this aims to clarify it all.
There has been throughout History a pattern of vilifying anyone that values themselves while paradoxically celebrating historical figures that have dared to believe in themselves.
There is this social lie that someone who loves themselves is evil and negatively described as arrogant and cocky.
I'll concede, the line is very fine and thin.
Let's redefine something so that you get my point, someone who's genuinely narcissistic is someone who admires and values themselves, that being their internal belief.
On the other hand, someone who suffers from a narcissistic disorder, which is psychological condition and pathology, does not truly and internally believe that they are worth it.
Quite the opposite.
Let's explain further.
The narcissistic disorder makes one unable to face their own ego; as such, they are unable to truly put a value on themselves, they do not have a purely subjective idea of who they are.
Instead, they prefer assuming how other people will see them. They rely on a fake idea of how they are perceived because they are not proud of their own self-perception.
In short: their ego is insecure.
As opposed, genuine narcissism, although the word bothers some people, does not make you see yourself through others because it's essential prerequisite is self-awareness.
The thing is, with anyone who exudes confidence, there is one question that never fails to show where they stand:
Do you keep yourself in check?
Someone with a narcissistic disorder never does.
Someone with high self-esteem and confidence always does.
For the former is scared of facing himself.
While the latter finds clarity in doing exactly that.
This is a piece I have been keen to write for a while and some of it's focal points have already discussed here but this aims to clarify it all.
There has been throughout History a pattern of vilifying anyone that values themselves while paradoxically celebrating historical figures that have dared to believe in themselves.
There is this social lie that someone who loves themselves is evil and negatively described as arrogant and cocky.
I'll concede, the line is very fine and thin.
Let's redefine something so that you get my point, someone who's genuinely narcissistic is someone who admires and values themselves, that being their internal belief.
On the other hand, someone who suffers from a narcissistic disorder, which is psychological condition and pathology, does not truly and internally believe that they are worth it.
Quite the opposite.
Let's explain further.
The narcissistic disorder makes one unable to face their own ego; as such, they are unable to truly put a value on themselves, they do not have a purely subjective idea of who they are.
Instead, they prefer assuming how other people will see them. They rely on a fake idea of how they are perceived because they are not proud of their own self-perception.
In short: their ego is insecure.
As opposed, genuine narcissism, although the word bothers some people, does not make you see yourself through others because it's essential prerequisite is self-awareness.
The thing is, with anyone who exudes confidence, there is one question that never fails to show where they stand:
Do you keep yourself in check?
Someone with a narcissistic disorder never does.
Someone with high self-esteem and confidence always does.
For the former is scared of facing himself.
While the latter finds clarity in doing exactly that.
🔥4❤1