The process of manifesting an emotion is the exact same for analyzing body language, except it's backwards.
If an emotion starts with a thought, a physical reaction then a behavior.
Cognitive > Physical > Behavioral
Analyzing body language starts with behavior, physical signs to conclude the thought or triggering emotion.
Behavioral > Physical > Cognitive
This is exactly why jumping right off the bat to micro expressions will lead you to wrong conclusions about someone's body language.
It's essential to take the biggest picture, the recurring pattern
AKA Behavior.
So, before starting to notice specific subconscious signs, it's important to focus on what the person in front is trying to convey as messages through their body language.
The space they take, the way they move, the changes in behavior, the general posture etc...
That makes it easier to frame what is genuine and what is being faked.
Understand that behavior and body language signs are results of complex cognitive processes, it's not through just one micro expressions that you can accurately conclude what is going on in someone's head.
No details without a big picture
Be methodical in your analysis.
Don't jump to conclusions right away, take the time to put together the pieces of the puzzle.
It's really a fun game.
If an emotion starts with a thought, a physical reaction then a behavior.
Cognitive > Physical > Behavioral
Analyzing body language starts with behavior, physical signs to conclude the thought or triggering emotion.
Behavioral > Physical > Cognitive
This is exactly why jumping right off the bat to micro expressions will lead you to wrong conclusions about someone's body language.
It's essential to take the biggest picture, the recurring pattern
AKA Behavior.
So, before starting to notice specific subconscious signs, it's important to focus on what the person in front is trying to convey as messages through their body language.
The space they take, the way they move, the changes in behavior, the general posture etc...
That makes it easier to frame what is genuine and what is being faked.
Understand that behavior and body language signs are results of complex cognitive processes, it's not through just one micro expressions that you can accurately conclude what is going on in someone's head.
No details without a big picture
Be methodical in your analysis.
Don't jump to conclusions right away, take the time to put together the pieces of the puzzle.
It's really a fun game.
If they seek your eye contact, don't give it to them.
Eye contact with you should be both scarce and intense.
Eye contact with you should be both scarce and intense.
Yesterday, a friend told me they wouldn't be able to manage an online presence like mine.
This is someone I've known offline for quite a few years, and someone for whom I have some sort of respect.
Very smart guy.
So I asked him, why would you say that?
He says it sounds too difficult and time consuming.
My answer was obvious:
Well, you didn't even try.
But that made me reflect on this discussion.
I asked myself if I had the same approach with things I don't know how to do.
And no.
So I digged deeper when meditating yesterday and I came to the conclusion that (as cliche as it might sound) the only difference between that guy and I is the fact that I refuse the comfort zone.
People play it too safe then complain about outcomes.
I realized that I love taking risks, I love uncertainty because it challenges me.
That's exactly where we differ him and I.
He likes certainty, low risk, assured returns.
I like to deserve what I get and I understand that playing safe is rarely worth anything.
Historical figures who had an impact on the world were not risk averse.
Understand that taking risks is what dissociates you from the mass.
It's being bold and fearless that gets you past what you could imagine.
Whatever you have in mind, if it's risky:
Fucking do it.
The adrenaline, the intense emotions, the experiences..
That's what life is fucking about.
Don't live a boring life.
Make it exciting or it will kill your soul before you actually die.
Create, build, invest.
Just fucking do something people are scared to do.
Defy your own limitations.
This is someone I've known offline for quite a few years, and someone for whom I have some sort of respect.
Very smart guy.
So I asked him, why would you say that?
He says it sounds too difficult and time consuming.
My answer was obvious:
Well, you didn't even try.
But that made me reflect on this discussion.
I asked myself if I had the same approach with things I don't know how to do.
And no.
So I digged deeper when meditating yesterday and I came to the conclusion that (as cliche as it might sound) the only difference between that guy and I is the fact that I refuse the comfort zone.
People play it too safe then complain about outcomes.
I realized that I love taking risks, I love uncertainty because it challenges me.
That's exactly where we differ him and I.
He likes certainty, low risk, assured returns.
I like to deserve what I get and I understand that playing safe is rarely worth anything.
Historical figures who had an impact on the world were not risk averse.
Understand that taking risks is what dissociates you from the mass.
It's being bold and fearless that gets you past what you could imagine.
Whatever you have in mind, if it's risky:
Fucking do it.
The adrenaline, the intense emotions, the experiences..
That's what life is fucking about.
Don't live a boring life.
Make it exciting or it will kill your soul before you actually die.
Create, build, invest.
Just fucking do something people are scared to do.
Defy your own limitations.
❤1
Believe in your delusional dreams but accept that they're delusional.
That's how YOU don't become delusional while still aspiring for greatness.
This is how you can balance you make sure that your ambition is a drive and not a burden while avoiding disappointment.
What most people fail at is finding what really motivates them to keep pushing every day.
The answer is:
Make yourself proud.
This is the key to achieving things you wouldn't have thought of yourself possible to attain.
Delusional is biased but delusional is not impossible.
As they say, "shoot for the moon, you'll land among the stars".
It is also through delusional goals that we push our limits.
Realistic goals will only lead you to mediocre or average results at best.
Know that what you're aiming for is very difficult to achieve but still give it 500% of your efforts.
By acknowledging the challenge and still going for it, you will:
1- Exceed "realistic" expectations
2- Test your limits and go beyond
Don't play it safe, be a risk taker.
For risk taker make history; safe betters only hear about it.
Don't limit yourself, even if people call you delusional.
Do everything to make it happen.
Have a great week Basedonians.
AFFIRM:
MONDAYS ARE SCARED OF ME.
That's how YOU don't become delusional while still aspiring for greatness.
This is how you can balance you make sure that your ambition is a drive and not a burden while avoiding disappointment.
What most people fail at is finding what really motivates them to keep pushing every day.
The answer is:
Make yourself proud.
This is the key to achieving things you wouldn't have thought of yourself possible to attain.
Delusional is biased but delusional is not impossible.
As they say, "shoot for the moon, you'll land among the stars".
It is also through delusional goals that we push our limits.
Realistic goals will only lead you to mediocre or average results at best.
Know that what you're aiming for is very difficult to achieve but still give it 500% of your efforts.
By acknowledging the challenge and still going for it, you will:
1- Exceed "realistic" expectations
2- Test your limits and go beyond
Don't play it safe, be a risk taker.
For risk taker make history; safe betters only hear about it.
Don't limit yourself, even if people call you delusional.
Do everything to make it happen.
Have a great week Basedonians.
AFFIRM:
MONDAYS ARE SCARED OF ME.
❤1
Never touch your face during a conversation.
Train yourself to use your hands for gestures rather than touching your face.
The reason being that putting your hand in front of your face means negative reactions more often than not.
We could break down each little micro expressions and explain what each one would mean.
But for now, let's just say this:
Hand in front of face is a subconscious attempt to hide facial expressions.
Now, more importantly, recognize when someone is overly touching their face during a conversation.
The trick here is the palm.
If their palm cover a good part of their face (repeatedly, doing it once is absolutely not enough to draw conclusions), then they're subconsciously trying to not let their facial expressions betray their true intentions.
Even if someone manages to successfully control their facial microexpressions (conscious act), they will still subconsciously attempt to be deceptive by hiding their face.
In the case where you notice such behavior, try to also conclude whether they maintain eye contact or not.
Here is why.
Someone who repeatedly hides their facial expressions by touching their face while also avoiding eye contact is someone who isn't being deceptive but rather fearful and anxious.
Their body language comes from insecurity rather than being deceptive.
On the other hand, someone's who's touching their face while expressing an overall confident body language and maintaining eye contact, is definitely being deceptive in most cases.
They are either giving the conversation a false interest or are trying to trick their interlocutor into thinking something that isn't true.
Again:
Body Language isn't about microexpressions alone, it's the mix of signals that allow us to draw conclusions and understand the thoughts behind the body.
Do not jump to conclusions.
Understand and learn the micro expressions then put together the pieces of the puzzle.
I repeat, do not directly jump into conclusions.
Train yourself to use your hands for gestures rather than touching your face.
The reason being that putting your hand in front of your face means negative reactions more often than not.
We could break down each little micro expressions and explain what each one would mean.
But for now, let's just say this:
Hand in front of face is a subconscious attempt to hide facial expressions.
Now, more importantly, recognize when someone is overly touching their face during a conversation.
The trick here is the palm.
If their palm cover a good part of their face (repeatedly, doing it once is absolutely not enough to draw conclusions), then they're subconsciously trying to not let their facial expressions betray their true intentions.
Even if someone manages to successfully control their facial microexpressions (conscious act), they will still subconsciously attempt to be deceptive by hiding their face.
In the case where you notice such behavior, try to also conclude whether they maintain eye contact or not.
Here is why.
Someone who repeatedly hides their facial expressions by touching their face while also avoiding eye contact is someone who isn't being deceptive but rather fearful and anxious.
Their body language comes from insecurity rather than being deceptive.
On the other hand, someone's who's touching their face while expressing an overall confident body language and maintaining eye contact, is definitely being deceptive in most cases.
They are either giving the conversation a false interest or are trying to trick their interlocutor into thinking something that isn't true.
Again:
Body Language isn't about microexpressions alone, it's the mix of signals that allow us to draw conclusions and understand the thoughts behind the body.
Do not jump to conclusions.
Understand and learn the micro expressions then put together the pieces of the puzzle.
I repeat, do not directly jump into conclusions.
You will not do your best.
You are doing your best.
You didn't do your best.
You are doing your best.
Don't fuck with this.
Your best shouldn't be a past event or an uncertain future.
It's an ongoing process.
Don't limit your 'best'.
Keep pushing for it to become better.
You are doing your best.
You didn't do your best.
You are doing your best.
Don't fuck with this.
Your best shouldn't be a past event or an uncertain future.
It's an ongoing process.
Don't limit your 'best'.
Keep pushing for it to become better.
❤1
The most simple and important boundary to set is to not let people give you nicknames.
It can never end well.
Nicknames that you didn't choose are nothing but plain disrespect.
It's not friendship, it's disrespect.
It's taking away your identity and labeling you with whatever sounds funny to them.
Nicknames reveal how people see you. Which isn't what you are.
It's what they think you are and thus it is irrelevant.
People should never feel comfortable enough to put a nickname on you.
Make sure of that and also make sure that your identity is so strong that people cant go wrong and see something else.
Fuck nicknames.
It can never end well.
Nicknames that you didn't choose are nothing but plain disrespect.
It's not friendship, it's disrespect.
It's taking away your identity and labeling you with whatever sounds funny to them.
Nicknames reveal how people see you. Which isn't what you are.
It's what they think you are and thus it is irrelevant.
People should never feel comfortable enough to put a nickname on you.
Make sure of that and also make sure that your identity is so strong that people cant go wrong and see something else.
Fuck nicknames.
🔥1
Use this for when you walk.
I don't know what it is, but there is something magical about this track.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm4ElZUzLOo
I don't know what it is, but there is something magical about this track.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm4ElZUzLOo
YouTube
Kollektiv Turmstrasse - Last Day (David August Revision) - Official Video
Diynamic has come up with another idea for a new series of EPs… Under the title Diynamic Revisited, it will see one artist remixing two older tracks from the label’s back catalogue. First up is David August, who has elected to re-envision tracks by Kollektiv…
My Twitter DMs are now open to Basedonians.
Shoot me Basedonia at the start of your message so I know you're one of us, otherwise I'm not replying.
Shoot me Basedonia at the start of your message so I know you're one of us, otherwise I'm not replying.
It's amazing how people automatically know that you can't be fucked with when you rely on nobody for anything.
Ask for nothing, mind your own business, do your thing, do it well.
That's how you get peace.
Ask for nothing, mind your own business, do your thing, do it well.
That's how you get peace.
❤1
So there is this guy, a very close friend of mine, that literally has zero motivation in life. He just doesn't want to do anything.
If you listen to Ep. 33 of Solcast, that's the guy I talked about.
So this guy just says:
"I didn't have the need to ever prove my worth to my family because they're successful and rich anyway"
This is the most wrong thought I've ever heard of.
For as long as you'll see yourself through the eyes of other people, you will be miserable
That includes your family.
You don't need to prove anyone anything.
You need to prove everything to yourself.
Truth is, this guy could continue living this way for the rest of his life. He'll never be broke or starving. His family are wealthier than you could ever imagine.
BUT
He is not fulfilled not happy.
He knows that's no way to live a life so he thinks he never had a choice.
We always have a choice
I went to the same schools he went to, had the same friends, went to the same university.
But fuck that!
I see the fact that I don't need to prove anything to my family as a burden that I don't have rather than anything else.
It's not a reason to do nothing, it's a reason to do better.
Understand that most the 'reasons' we come up, are excuses to stay in comfort zone.
Which is the misery zone.
If you listen to Ep. 33 of Solcast, that's the guy I talked about.
So this guy just says:
"I didn't have the need to ever prove my worth to my family because they're successful and rich anyway"
This is the most wrong thought I've ever heard of.
For as long as you'll see yourself through the eyes of other people, you will be miserable
That includes your family.
You don't need to prove anyone anything.
You need to prove everything to yourself.
Truth is, this guy could continue living this way for the rest of his life. He'll never be broke or starving. His family are wealthier than you could ever imagine.
BUT
He is not fulfilled not happy.
He knows that's no way to live a life so he thinks he never had a choice.
We always have a choice
I went to the same schools he went to, had the same friends, went to the same university.
But fuck that!
I see the fact that I don't need to prove anything to my family as a burden that I don't have rather than anything else.
It's not a reason to do nothing, it's a reason to do better.
Understand that most the 'reasons' we come up, are excuses to stay in comfort zone.
Which is the misery zone.
Life Mistakes I've Witnessed: Martyrs
Martyrs think their suffering is worse than everyone else's.
Martyrs feel entitled to everyone's attention and they are ready to do everything to get that.
Back when I was in university there was this girl, she was everyone's friend.
Thing is everyone pitied her.
She was this shy ugly little thing with nothing besides her "kindness".
She was nothing special.
But everyone liked her.
TL;DR
One night, she gets to her campus roommates and tells her roommate she just got raped.
They tried to get her to go to cops and file a complaint but she was "too traumatized" to do that while still telling about it to everybody she would meet in the coming weeks.
Again, everyone pitied her even more and she got a lot more friends and attention from that.
A few months later, everybody just forgot about that.
So she decided she had cancer.
Shaved her hair and told everyone she was going to die.
Here we went again.
Massive attention.
Shit didn't make sense because she looked exactly the same for a very long time besides shaving her hair once in a while.
People started calling her out.
What did she do?
She left uni.
Yep, she went that far.
Anyway you get the picture.
She came back after a few months and got called out.
She claimed that she was "cured" lmao
Yeah she was ready to do anything
Anyway, you get the picture.
This is the kind of people who literally don't want to harm you, but they still end up doing so since they get attention they don't deserve since it's for the wrong reasons.
This is why I always highlight the danger of your own empathy.
Make of this what you will.
Martyrs think their suffering is worse than everyone else's.
Martyrs feel entitled to everyone's attention and they are ready to do everything to get that.
Back when I was in university there was this girl, she was everyone's friend.
Thing is everyone pitied her.
She was this shy ugly little thing with nothing besides her "kindness".
She was nothing special.
But everyone liked her.
TL;DR
One night, she gets to her campus roommates and tells her roommate she just got raped.
They tried to get her to go to cops and file a complaint but she was "too traumatized" to do that while still telling about it to everybody she would meet in the coming weeks.
Again, everyone pitied her even more and she got a lot more friends and attention from that.
A few months later, everybody just forgot about that.
So she decided she had cancer.
Shaved her hair and told everyone she was going to die.
Here we went again.
Massive attention.
Shit didn't make sense because she looked exactly the same for a very long time besides shaving her hair once in a while.
People started calling her out.
What did she do?
She left uni.
Yep, she went that far.
Anyway you get the picture.
She came back after a few months and got called out.
She claimed that she was "cured" lmao
Yeah she was ready to do anything
Anyway, you get the picture.
This is the kind of people who literally don't want to harm you, but they still end up doing so since they get attention they don't deserve since it's for the wrong reasons.
This is why I always highlight the danger of your own empathy.
Make of this what you will.
Stolen from @roanwar on Twitter. Give him a follow, great guy, great content.
Next post will be about:
anonymous poll
Eye contact – 82
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 64%
Gestures – 33
👍👍👍 26%
Space – 14
👍 11%
👥 129 people voted so far. Poll closed.
anonymous poll
Eye contact – 82
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 64%
Gestures – 33
👍👍👍 26%
Space – 14
👍 11%
👥 129 people voted so far. Poll closed.
People think eye contact is about looking eye ball to eye ball.
Fuck no.
That's so creepy.
While I don't recommend you start counting the seconds, anything above 9 seconds of intense eye contact becomes creepy if it doesn't start a fight or end up in both sides kissing.
Eye contact is energy exchange.
Eye contact is leverage.
Here is the thing, eyes signal a lot about people.
Use the time you'll spend having eye contact with someone, analyzing their eyes.
Trust me, it becomes funnier and easier.
Their pupils, the muscles around their eyes.
All those are clues.
As I've previously said here, tense muscles tense feelings.
Pupils on the other hand reflect a lot of things including interest, content level etc..
Hint: People who are under the influence of drugs secrete a lot of dopamine/serotonin and have large pupils, that shows you that those hormones are responsible of pupils size.
You can literally guess people's internal emotions through their eyes.
But here is the thing:
Give too much eye contact and you'll find yourself chasing your interlocutor's eyes.
You don't want to be in that position.
Why?
Because you naturally take an inferior position and you will act subconsciously submissive. Yeah shit is that impactful.
Instead, make eye contact with you rare and intense.
BUT.
Don't look down.
Never down.
Looking down means you're either feeling shyness or aggressiveness depending on context.
Those things are felt by people.
They can't point their finger on them but they subconsciously get them.
It's natural.
Body Language is our natural way of communication.
We've been doing for way longer than we've been speaking.
Fuck no.
That's so creepy.
While I don't recommend you start counting the seconds, anything above 9 seconds of intense eye contact becomes creepy if it doesn't start a fight or end up in both sides kissing.
Eye contact is energy exchange.
Eye contact is leverage.
Here is the thing, eyes signal a lot about people.
Use the time you'll spend having eye contact with someone, analyzing their eyes.
Trust me, it becomes funnier and easier.
Their pupils, the muscles around their eyes.
All those are clues.
As I've previously said here, tense muscles tense feelings.
Pupils on the other hand reflect a lot of things including interest, content level etc..
Hint: People who are under the influence of drugs secrete a lot of dopamine/serotonin and have large pupils, that shows you that those hormones are responsible of pupils size.
You can literally guess people's internal emotions through their eyes.
But here is the thing:
Give too much eye contact and you'll find yourself chasing your interlocutor's eyes.
You don't want to be in that position.
Why?
Because you naturally take an inferior position and you will act subconsciously submissive. Yeah shit is that impactful.
Instead, make eye contact with you rare and intense.
BUT.
Don't look down.
Never down.
Looking down means you're either feeling shyness or aggressiveness depending on context.
Those things are felt by people.
They can't point their finger on them but they subconsciously get them.
It's natural.
Body Language is our natural way of communication.
We've been doing for way longer than we've been speaking.
How to spot a lie and confirm that it's not the truth:
Here is the thing, body language can only tell you so much.
The process of observing micro-expressions and other body language components will help you spot inconsistencies.
But, it won't be enough to really know if the person in front is telling lies.
Here is a very simple trick:
Ask them to tell you the story in reverse.
Of course asking that directly will sound weird and confusing to the person in front.
The trick is to ask questions about what they said and ask them what happened before that (as if you weren't completely following while still showing interest).
If they get confused or change a little detail:
They're lying.
The thing is if the memory is clear (even if it might be different from what actually happened) they'll still remember what they have in mind.
If they're making it on the go, they will definitely have a hard time recalling what they just said as they don't have the visualization of the event in mind.
Works like a charm.
Here is the thing, body language can only tell you so much.
The process of observing micro-expressions and other body language components will help you spot inconsistencies.
But, it won't be enough to really know if the person in front is telling lies.
Here is a very simple trick:
Ask them to tell you the story in reverse.
Of course asking that directly will sound weird and confusing to the person in front.
The trick is to ask questions about what they said and ask them what happened before that (as if you weren't completely following while still showing interest).
If they get confused or change a little detail:
They're lying.
The thing is if the memory is clear (even if it might be different from what actually happened) they'll still remember what they have in mind.
If they're making it on the go, they will definitely have a hard time recalling what they just said as they don't have the visualization of the event in mind.
Works like a charm.
❤2