A person that loves themselves never thinks about why someone doesn't like them.
The ones who say "I'm so perfect, I don't get why you don't like me"
Are not narcissistic.
They're insecure.
They need external validation to confirm their ego.
Their ego doesn't confirm itself.
They're dependent on other people's opinion on them.
Because to them, it invalidates what they think of themselves.
Think about it.
If you truly love yourself, you understand that you're not made for everyone.
Loving yourself is about knowing yourself.
Not about seeking validation.
Every time you catch yourself affected by someone's thoughts of you, remember they're not you and they will never be. So they're irrelevant.
Once you can achieve this, you become completely free.
No one can judge you if you don't allow them to.
Their judgement is only meaningful if you let it affect you.
No hate.
No hard feelings.
Self-love.
That's it.
Pure and genuine self-love.
The ones who say "I'm so perfect, I don't get why you don't like me"
Are not narcissistic.
They're insecure.
They need external validation to confirm their ego.
Their ego doesn't confirm itself.
They're dependent on other people's opinion on them.
Because to them, it invalidates what they think of themselves.
Think about it.
If you truly love yourself, you understand that you're not made for everyone.
Loving yourself is about knowing yourself.
Not about seeking validation.
Every time you catch yourself affected by someone's thoughts of you, remember they're not you and they will never be. So they're irrelevant.
Once you can achieve this, you become completely free.
No one can judge you if you don't allow them to.
Their judgement is only meaningful if you let it affect you.
No hate.
No hard feelings.
Self-love.
That's it.
Pure and genuine self-love.
Forget.
That's it.
Forgiveness without forgetting is holding grudges.
It will:
1- Eat you inside out
2- Nurture a toxic relationship
Forget. Move on.
If you are going to forgive someone: forget what they did.
Don't keep reminding them of it.
Or else you're just doing harm to all parties, and mainly to yourself.
That's it.
Forgiveness without forgetting is holding grudges.
It will:
1- Eat you inside out
2- Nurture a toxic relationship
Forget. Move on.
If you are going to forgive someone: forget what they did.
Don't keep reminding them of it.
Or else you're just doing harm to all parties, and mainly to yourself.
Life Mistakes I've Witnessed:
Part 3: A Toxic Friendship
Before you read the following, here are a few things I want you to know:
- I'm the bad guy in this story.
- I acknowledge my past mistakes and have no shame talking about it.
- I don't give a fuck what you think.
It was back in 2015, I had a "best" friend.
A friend I fought for many times and went through lots of (mainly traumatizing) shit with him.
Him and I would be together almost all the time and we had this bad habit of doing cocaine regularly.
After a year of hanging out together, we became really close. This guy will certainly be in other parts of this series.
For simplicity let's call him K.
In July 2015, we had planned this trip.
I had invited my girlfriend at the time and she was going to bring a friend of hers.
19 year old me was excited af
We had decided to go by train as we booked an apartment near everything we would need.
The morning of the trip, K calls me to say he was yet to get the stuff and that he'd probably miss the train.
My only answer was:
"Don't come without it."
And I hang up.
The girls and I traveled and he was expected to join us the same night.
The thing was that K had called our dealer but he told him he had nothing left.
K spent the day with the dealer trying to find something.
And he did.
He finally took the train at 8pm and was supposed to arrive at midnight.
At midnight, K's father calls me to tell me to get out of the apartment and find a place to spend the night.
K got arrested by the police as he got down the train and was about to go to jail.
He had 7g of cocaine on him and would risk up to 10 years.
In all honesty, this is one of the moments where I felt the most powerless and coward.
I had forced my closest friend to take all the risks on his own while I made sure to be safe at all times.
He was about to get charged with drug traffic and there was nothing I could do about it.
I left the house, called a friend who was there and we spent the night with him.
The next morning, I left town, scared that he would blame everything on me.
He didn't.
He was charged with drug possession rather than drug traffic and was put under probation.
Now some of you might say that he was as responsible as I am.
But, years later, I've come to realize how much this person did just to remain close to me.
The reason he didn't get the drugs the night before was because I had left and he was supposed to go get it alone.
Which he ultimately did but didn't have the courage to tell me back then.
Too scared of what I might think of him if he ever appeared weak in front of me.
To be honest, I would have probably made fun of him at the time.
I however, do not regret what happened.
The ending was relatively light, his sentence was nowhere near what he was risking after all.
And it also taught me two things:
- Never go out of your way to please a friend
- Never let someone go out of their way to please you (if you really value them)
That being said:
Get away from drugs.
They will spoil your whole world.
Part 3: A Toxic Friendship
Before you read the following, here are a few things I want you to know:
- I'm the bad guy in this story.
- I acknowledge my past mistakes and have no shame talking about it.
- I don't give a fuck what you think.
It was back in 2015, I had a "best" friend.
A friend I fought for many times and went through lots of (mainly traumatizing) shit with him.
Him and I would be together almost all the time and we had this bad habit of doing cocaine regularly.
After a year of hanging out together, we became really close. This guy will certainly be in other parts of this series.
For simplicity let's call him K.
In July 2015, we had planned this trip.
I had invited my girlfriend at the time and she was going to bring a friend of hers.
19 year old me was excited af
We had decided to go by train as we booked an apartment near everything we would need.
The morning of the trip, K calls me to say he was yet to get the stuff and that he'd probably miss the train.
My only answer was:
"Don't come without it."
And I hang up.
The girls and I traveled and he was expected to join us the same night.
The thing was that K had called our dealer but he told him he had nothing left.
K spent the day with the dealer trying to find something.
And he did.
He finally took the train at 8pm and was supposed to arrive at midnight.
At midnight, K's father calls me to tell me to get out of the apartment and find a place to spend the night.
K got arrested by the police as he got down the train and was about to go to jail.
He had 7g of cocaine on him and would risk up to 10 years.
In all honesty, this is one of the moments where I felt the most powerless and coward.
I had forced my closest friend to take all the risks on his own while I made sure to be safe at all times.
He was about to get charged with drug traffic and there was nothing I could do about it.
I left the house, called a friend who was there and we spent the night with him.
The next morning, I left town, scared that he would blame everything on me.
He didn't.
He was charged with drug possession rather than drug traffic and was put under probation.
Now some of you might say that he was as responsible as I am.
But, years later, I've come to realize how much this person did just to remain close to me.
The reason he didn't get the drugs the night before was because I had left and he was supposed to go get it alone.
Which he ultimately did but didn't have the courage to tell me back then.
Too scared of what I might think of him if he ever appeared weak in front of me.
To be honest, I would have probably made fun of him at the time.
I however, do not regret what happened.
The ending was relatively light, his sentence was nowhere near what he was risking after all.
And it also taught me two things:
- Never go out of your way to please a friend
- Never let someone go out of their way to please you (if you really value them)
That being said:
Get away from drugs.
They will spoil your whole world.
Tomorrow at around this time, I will launching Growtter.
If you're trying to grow your Twitter account, it should be interesting for you.
If you're trying to grow your Twitter account, it should be interesting for you.
A principle of life:
When you make a choice, don't hesitate.
Don't look back.
Make the choice, take responsibility of the consequences.
That's it.
Hesitating is nothing but a waste of time and mental space.
Action matters.
Pick an option.
Make everything for it to work out.
If you are going to cut ties with someone, block them from everywhere.
Don't give yourself the option to go back and fix things with them.
Done. Finished.
Move away, go on with your life.
Burn all the bridges.
Focus on yourself and what elevates your soul.
May your day/evening be blessed with positives only.
When you make a choice, don't hesitate.
Don't look back.
Make the choice, take responsibility of the consequences.
That's it.
Hesitating is nothing but a waste of time and mental space.
Action matters.
Pick an option.
Make everything for it to work out.
If you are going to cut ties with someone, block them from everywhere.
Don't give yourself the option to go back and fix things with them.
Done. Finished.
Move away, go on with your life.
Burn all the bridges.
Focus on yourself and what elevates your soul.
May your day/evening be blessed with positives only.
Life Mistakes I've Witnessed:
Part 4: Bluffing Works
Truth is this isn't really a mistake I've witnessed but a lesson I've learned.
It's also a very long story so I'll go straight to the important part.
TL;DR
We got screwed over.
Dealer gave us salt instead of cocaine.
5g of salt.
One of us decided to go back and find the dealers apartment and was somehow planning to "find a solution to all this"
I felt this wasn't going to go all well.
Decided to go with him.
The others decided to stay home and said it was useless to even try to get real cocaine from the guy or get back the money.
Finding him was going to be a pain in the ass.
Anyway that was for the background story.
Let's call this guy Y.
Y and I left the house, without really knowing where we were heading.
Y asks for my phone and calls the dealer (we had never used my number to call him). He answers and Y has this genius idea of telling him that we liked it and wanted more.
The guy asks us where we are and Y says that he didn't need to come and that we'd come to him.
He gave us an address and we went there.
We get there and call him.
For the record: we were 19 at the time and none of us was jacked. It was suicidal to even think we could take him on right where he lives. We still went for it.
As soon as he gets out of his building, Y stops him and starts literally screaming how he scammed us and gave us salt instead of cocaine.
I had no idea this idiot had this in mind.
Up to that point I really thought we were going to politely call him out and ask for our cash back.
Anyway, 3 other guys get out of the building and try to call Y down.
This is where it gets even more confusing for me.
We were two, they were 4.
Each one of them was twice both of us combined.
Y decides to start yelling at them again, saying he'd be ready to call the cops on them.
I'm still thinking wtf, when the dealer proposes to "fix things", "calm down and go up" to his apartment.
In no world would I ever said yes to this.
It just looked to fishy to me, they were obviously going to beat us down or some fucked up shit.
Y said yes and followed them upstairs.
I wasn't as self-confident at the time and instead of stopping him, I just followed. Completely idiotic.
We get upstairs, Y starts making as much noise as he can again.
I'm still shitting my pants but I'm not even trying to stop him at this point.
His plan was to be so annoying that the guys would just want to never see him again.
And it worked.
We got up and they gave us 5g of cocaine and some of our money back.
I was surprised to say the least and was still expecting some unexpected turn of events.
Nothing happened.
We got back home safe.
On the way back, Y explains to me that he often does this.
He embarrasses dealers that try to scam him by seeming unshakable and ready for anything.
A suicidal way to solve problems.
But damn friends does it work like hell.
Obviously, we got very lucky that night. But I still learned something from it.
The thing is, sometimes, willingly overreacting allows you to get away with stuff.
Especially in situations where there seems to be zero other solution.
Y was one of the most interesting people I've met in my life.
The man breathes confidence.
He can get away with literally anything.
Part 4: Bluffing Works
Truth is this isn't really a mistake I've witnessed but a lesson I've learned.
It's also a very long story so I'll go straight to the important part.
TL;DR
We got screwed over.
Dealer gave us salt instead of cocaine.
5g of salt.
One of us decided to go back and find the dealers apartment and was somehow planning to "find a solution to all this"
I felt this wasn't going to go all well.
Decided to go with him.
The others decided to stay home and said it was useless to even try to get real cocaine from the guy or get back the money.
Finding him was going to be a pain in the ass.
Anyway that was for the background story.
Let's call this guy Y.
Y and I left the house, without really knowing where we were heading.
Y asks for my phone and calls the dealer (we had never used my number to call him). He answers and Y has this genius idea of telling him that we liked it and wanted more.
The guy asks us where we are and Y says that he didn't need to come and that we'd come to him.
He gave us an address and we went there.
We get there and call him.
For the record: we were 19 at the time and none of us was jacked. It was suicidal to even think we could take him on right where he lives. We still went for it.
As soon as he gets out of his building, Y stops him and starts literally screaming how he scammed us and gave us salt instead of cocaine.
I had no idea this idiot had this in mind.
Up to that point I really thought we were going to politely call him out and ask for our cash back.
Anyway, 3 other guys get out of the building and try to call Y down.
This is where it gets even more confusing for me.
We were two, they were 4.
Each one of them was twice both of us combined.
Y decides to start yelling at them again, saying he'd be ready to call the cops on them.
I'm still thinking wtf, when the dealer proposes to "fix things", "calm down and go up" to his apartment.
In no world would I ever said yes to this.
It just looked to fishy to me, they were obviously going to beat us down or some fucked up shit.
Y said yes and followed them upstairs.
I wasn't as self-confident at the time and instead of stopping him, I just followed. Completely idiotic.
We get upstairs, Y starts making as much noise as he can again.
I'm still shitting my pants but I'm not even trying to stop him at this point.
His plan was to be so annoying that the guys would just want to never see him again.
And it worked.
We got up and they gave us 5g of cocaine and some of our money back.
I was surprised to say the least and was still expecting some unexpected turn of events.
Nothing happened.
We got back home safe.
On the way back, Y explains to me that he often does this.
He embarrasses dealers that try to scam him by seeming unshakable and ready for anything.
A suicidal way to solve problems.
But damn friends does it work like hell.
Obviously, we got very lucky that night. But I still learned something from it.
The thing is, sometimes, willingly overreacting allows you to get away with stuff.
Especially in situations where there seems to be zero other solution.
Y was one of the most interesting people I've met in my life.
The man breathes confidence.
He can get away with literally anything.
You know what I do when a thought bothers me?
I think about it more.
I don't hide from it.
I try to understand what bothers me and figure out how I can make it stop.
This is how you solve your shit.
Every time.
Remain consistent in dealing with your shit and you'll never really have to deal with burdens.
Better taking one at a time than hide from it then have to face a mountain of problems.
It's about the micro-actions, the split second decision.
Stay sharp.
I think about it more.
I don't hide from it.
I try to understand what bothers me and figure out how I can make it stop.
This is how you solve your shit.
Every time.
Remain consistent in dealing with your shit and you'll never really have to deal with burdens.
Better taking one at a time than hide from it then have to face a mountain of problems.
It's about the micro-actions, the split second decision.
Stay sharp.
There are a lot of things that you think you need in your life when you really don't.
A lot of things are supposed to come to you effortlessly and your attempts to force reach them makes them get further from your reach.
Happiness, love, friendships etc...
Those things are not supposed to be chased.
They are results.
They result from the simple fact of having a purpose and trying to fulfill it relentlessly.
When you know what your life is meant to be, when you realize exactly what you want to be and where you're supposed to be heading:
Everything fixes itself.
Life is easier than people think.
Life is only a bitch if you're a try hard.
Focus on what matters: you and your purpose.
Everything else will come to you.
That's the real meaning of "trust the process".
A lot of things are supposed to come to you effortlessly and your attempts to force reach them makes them get further from your reach.
Happiness, love, friendships etc...
Those things are not supposed to be chased.
They are results.
They result from the simple fact of having a purpose and trying to fulfill it relentlessly.
When you know what your life is meant to be, when you realize exactly what you want to be and where you're supposed to be heading:
Everything fixes itself.
Life is easier than people think.
Life is only a bitch if you're a try hard.
Focus on what matters: you and your purpose.
Everything else will come to you.
That's the real meaning of "trust the process".
When someone hurts you, you get away from them.
Simple.
There is no valid, logical reason why you would talk to them ever again.
If you're convinced that they didn't have your best interest at heart, then it's useless to ever give them a second chance.
You'll just be signaling to them that it's okay to cross those boundaries with you.
They'll do it again.
If someone only values you when they lose you, they simply do not deserve you.
Value yourself.
Don't answer their texts.
Block them from everywhere.
Let them stay stuck in that past.
Move on with your life.
Don't let people stop you.
You are better than that.
Simple.
There is no valid, logical reason why you would talk to them ever again.
If you're convinced that they didn't have your best interest at heart, then it's useless to ever give them a second chance.
You'll just be signaling to them that it's okay to cross those boundaries with you.
They'll do it again.
If someone only values you when they lose you, they simply do not deserve you.
Value yourself.
Don't answer their texts.
Block them from everywhere.
Let them stay stuck in that past.
Move on with your life.
Don't let people stop you.
You are better than that.
Productivity tip:
Use Telegram bookmarks as personal journal.
Your phone is on you all the time, you're used to sending messages anyway
Use it to your advantage send message to your future self to see
Track your progress ;)
Use Telegram bookmarks as personal journal.
Your phone is on you all the time, you're used to sending messages anyway
Use it to your advantage send message to your future self to see
Track your progress ;)